Funerals

Sadly, not every patient survives critical illness, and death or the possibility of death is an ever present reality in ICU. Here people talk about organising a funeral for the relative who'd died in intensive care or on a ward. 

Many people talked about having a funeral shortly after the death of their relative, partner or close friend. Deciding whether the deceased person will be buried or cremated is an extremely personal decision. For some it had been important to have a burial service so there would be somewhere specific they could visit and think about the person. For others having a cremation had been important. Some people said they'd discussed the kind of funeral the deceased person would have wanted with them at some point, and were glad to have felt able to follow his or her wishes. Others said the decision had been influenced by their family's religious beliefs. Some patients had left instructions for relatives to follow. Other relatives said they'd arranged the kind of funeral they thought the deceased person would have wanted. 

Her sister-in-law had left instructions and had wanted a Jewish funeral.

Her husband had told her what kind of a funeral he'd wanted, including the music, and this was something they'd talked about on several occasions.

Organising their son's funeral helped her husband focus on something. They wanted everyone to dress normally, had lots of flowers and their son's favourite music.

For more information on alternative funerals see The British Humanist Association and The Natural Death Centre.

Last reviewed November 2010.

Last updated November 2010.