I felt quite angry because afterwards all the support and all the attention was for my Mum. And I know she went through all the horrible side of things but for the family it is more emotional and you are there every day and see, you are very up and down, you see, and I personally feel that more support is needed for the family. Mum went for a follow-up and I went with her because I felt I needed something.
But there wasn't anything. You know whether it is just someone to… the doctors and the nurses are lovely and they give you as much information as they can. But yes, I think you need some support, you need someone to say yes we have been through this and that is quite normal or just to listen to you. It is very hard, even though my husband is supportive, it is still a very difficult time for you and probably somebody who has been through it or who knows what they are talking about to say, “That is quite normal to feel like…”
Like I say, me feeling angry, you know, is that a normal feeling for people to feel like that or am I a really awful daughter for feeling jealous and angry with my Mum for putting me through that. So I think there could be more for the actual relative. It is all patient, everyone is focused on the patient, to get them well and through, which of course is natural. But you do kind of get a bit pushed out and a lot of waiting in the relatives' room, not knowing what is going on. You know alarms have gone off, you are put in the relatives room and you can sit there for two or three hours not knowing what is happening and that is very difficult as well.
Did you talk to any other people who were in the relatives' room or…?
There was never anybody else in there when we were there. The gentleman opposite, on the rotating bed, kind of got a bit of relationship going with his wife. Just saying hello and that and how is he doing and how is my Mum doing. Whenever we were in the relatives' room, we were generally on our own. As I say the nurses were very good, you would go in and they would give you an update and tell you everything. But they were obviously concentrating on the patient and I have always felt since being there, I think more should be done for the relatives. Whether the patients survive or not because there is still almost a feeling of grief even if they do survive. You have still gone through a life changing, and luckily for me, my Mum is virtually back to normal. It could have been a completely different story, you know my life could have been changed completely, and it is a very emotional time. So yes, I think there could be more for relatives. |
