I mean at the moment I do literally all the cooking and everything. My wife will come out and say, “Can I help you?” and I try and give her little bits and pieces that I know she can cope with, but to leave her, to put the electric plates on the cooker, no she is not safe in doing that. Like she said there was one time she put a pillow into the microwave. And we were standing in the kitchen talking at the time and I could smell this smell and didn't think anything of it. And then suddenly my eyes went to the microwave and thought what has she got the microwave on for. And then of course I opened it and flames came out from the pillow.
Would you like, if somebody were available, would you like them to come in and help? Or you would prefer to do it yourself?
Well it would be very nice to get a complete break away from her, say for like three or four days, but the only trouble would be there is, that the person that would replace me would have to be able to cope with things the way I cope with them with her. And I don't think anybody would be up to that type of standard if you know what I mean. And I would then start worrying. If I knew everything wasn't so, then I would then start worrying and it would be pointless me going anywhere. But at the moment I feel that it is me that should be looking after her because I know the ins and outs of her problems. I know what she needs and what she wants and, you know, her likes and dislikes. And it is easier for me to do it rather than try and explain to somebody else.
All I can say is that if you find your health is suffering as a result of it then you have got to seek help. Where you seek the help from I just don't know because the way things look outside beyond all these organisations and that, they are willing to help, but they don't have the help that you actually really need to cope with your problem.
And the help that you would really need, you feel they wouldn't understand all your wife's needs?
This is the problem. If she was in, shall I say, a nursing home, with say six patients and there was three nurses to six patients then they would get to know everything, her problems, and they would help her. But there is very few nursing homes in the country. I would go as far as to say there is probably not a nursing homes left in the country that would have one nurse to two patients to look after. So even putting her into a nursing home for a week to give me a break, they still wouldn't be able to cope with the problems she has got. They wouldn't physically have the time to be able to do it. And as a result of not having the time to do it, then my wife's health would suffer dramatically as a result of it. And I wouldn't want to put her into that position. This is the problem you have got, and although there are plenty of organisations who on paper you know could help, when it gets down to the real practicalities of it, the practical side of it, there is very little help out there. |
