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Intensive care: experiences of family & friendsArrow
Aged 41-50
Interview 30  

Interview 30

Age at Interview: 48
Sex: Male
Background: ICU consultant, living with partner and two children. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.
Brief outline:His father died in ICU, aged 83. Being an intensive care doctor, he was able to provide information and support to his mother and brother.

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Male
He feels it is better for doctors to be cautious when giving relatives news rather than raise their hopes or give the impression things are better than they are.

 



The golden rule from my perspective of Intensive Care is never to be too upbeat with families. If you promise the world and the world isn't delivered, then they are much more likely to be bitter, angry and resentful. I think it is much better to err on the side of pessimism so that a positive outcome is a bonus rather than an expectation. 

And was that how you felt when you gave information to your mother? 

I reassured her when he was doing well but warned that things can go wrong, there is a long way to go etc. It was never playing it down as just a little blip but everything will be fine. If you build up hope, there is nothing worse than that rug suddenly being pulled away. I do some medico-legal work, giving independent expert opinions and two major issues are poor communication and giving the impression that the patient is a lot better than they really are. The relatives feel aggrieved, angry  and are looking for somebody to blame and so they use poor communication as a channel to focus their anger on.
Jonathan Miller - Intensive care
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