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Intensive care: experiences of family & friendsArrow
Aged 70 +
Interview 26  

Interview 26

Age at Interview: 70
Sex: Female
Background: Retired GP, married with three adult children. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.
Brief outline:In 2006 her sister-in-law sadly died in ICU after having an accident in her car. She visited her daily and took care of all the practical matters.

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She had to clear out and sell her sister-in-law's flat and contents, which was very difficult at first because it felt cruel to her memory.

 



I gradually got used to going to her flat. It was actually really difficult deciding what to do with her stuff. To actually get rid of someone's life seems dreadful. And I think I've still got it, but she was, I think she was writing a biography of her parents and I think there were several copies of it and I think I have them. But towards the end, when I knew that it was the last moment for clearing out her flat, I became a bit ruthless and started taking home great masses of stuff and then taking them to the dump. And her clothes for instance, I didn't try to do anything other than, I mean I think a charity picked them up. But there was, for instance she had a whole lot of books that were prizes that were given to her mother's brother, who was a very, clearly took every prize in his school. And again this is about kind of how much you hang on to the past. And these books weren't books that anyone needed, they were rather kind of pretentiously covered, leather-covered books. And I took away three of them that were volumes of Proust. But the rest of them, I just got sick of carrying things and I didn't bring them back. There were some kind of Jewish things, candlesticks and things that somebody took. And there were the things that she used in her Chavorah. She had some cymbals and I think I've still got them, but I have promised to give them to her friends. But that is, part of you wants to be shot of the whole business and part of you, you can't bear to say their life counted for so little. 
Jonathan Miller - Intensive care
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