So your day to day life mainly revolved around going to the hospital, coming back?
Daughter: Watching films. We watched an awful of DVDs didn't we?
Once you got back home?
Daughter: Yes. We had quite a nice time. Like in some ways it wasn't all really negative. We had fun didn't we? We used to go shopping a lot. We spent a lot of time in Sainsburys buying nice wine.
Husband: Yes, Sainsburys was our… because we haven't got a Sainsburys here you see. Whereas near the hospital there is a Sainsburys so we spent a lot of time there.
Daughter: Buying Gourmet food.
Husband: We spent a lot of time there.
Daughter: We bought all this food and wine and came home and made lovely dinners.
Husband: And the very nice Indian restaurant.
Daughter: Oh yes. We used to eat out a lot. We did watch a lot of films didn't we?
Did you talk much about what was going on or was it just - you were just too involved in the visiting really to step back from it all?
Daughter: I don't know, I suppose we did. I don't know, it was hard at the time because you talk about it always, it is not, I think we talked about it when we first thought about it. Or something. We didn't make any…
Husband: No. I mean we had…
Daughter: Chats about it.
Husband: And we had sort of low moments and high moments and supported each other. But I mean we didn't over talk about it I don't think. But then we didn't ignore it either.
Daughter: We were quite philosophical. And also, no, actually, I mean we, like we chatted about what you would do if she died quite a lot.
Husband: True.
Daughter: I think the most important thing is like even, through the whole situation, like that guy said on, whenever it was, the Santa pixie [consultant] turned up, I think that was the best piece of advice, it is balance and it has always been balance the whole way through, in everything, even now. Balance it is just crucial, to try and get a good home / hospital life balance even. If you are visiting someone every day, it is important that you make time at least once a day to do something that is nice that is just for you, because you need that. You can't, I don't think you can function at that level of emotional intensity without re-charging yourself slightly. I think that is really crucial. And I think for anyone going through this sort of situation that that is the trick, you have got to try and stay balanced. |
