We're still close but it's different. I'm not the best friend that went out drinking and went out clubbing and went out on holiday, went shopping with. I'm the best friend that listens to her worries. Tries to talk her out of depressions. Goes to the hospital with her. Takes her shopping at silly hours because she can't stand it when it's busy because she has panic attacks in the middle of the supermarket. I'm the one that says, “You need to get the Hoover out you scruffy cow. Have you had a shower this week? What've you had to eat today?” I think that's all that I ever seem to say.
Does she still consider you as her closest friend because you're the one who's always around to help?
I think so. I think so. She does have her moments where I get a phone call and say, “We're not going shopping today” Or “What you doing this weekend?” And I say, “I'm going to my boyfriend's” and she goes, “Oh”. And you can hear that, 'oh', well you know, “I'm going to my boyfriend's but I'm just going to be sat in his house all weekend”. When, it's like sometimes I wonder whether she actually resents the fact that she's how she is now and I'm still going on with my life.
People laugh when you, when I say, “Oh well I'm, you know, my mate's carer.” And they see us stood next to you and she's got, you know, a nice pair of court shoes on, smart trousers, nice top, hair's done, make-up's done. They look at you stupid. You know, well do you know if she looks better than I do most of the time [laughs] when we go out. Why am I her carer? I don't think people always understand what goes on inside or what complications she's been left with or what problems she's got. You know even stupid things like walking around the supermarket, somebody can walk in front of her, somebody can stand too close to her. I turn around and she's heading for the door and the trolley's been abandoned [laughs]. |
