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Reasons for admission :
Emergency admissions
Planned admissions

In the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) :
Seeing the patient in ICU for the first time
Suspending normal routines: visiting ICU every day
Uncertainty
Emotional impact on relatives & friends in ICU
Impact on children
Telling others
Relationships within and between families
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Sources of information in ICU
Nursing care
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Sources of support in ICU
At the bedside:
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The relatives' room and overnight accommodation:
- The relatives' room
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When someone dies :
End of life decisions
Death and bereavement:

On a general ward :
The ward environment and nursing care
Hospital discharge and rehabilitation

Life after leaving the hospital :
Supporting and caring for the ill person at home
Impact on work and finances
Attitudes to life after the hospital experience
Messages to others
Emotional impact on relatives and carers
- Emotional impact on family and friends
- Adjusting to a changed life
Support and information
- Support and information
- Lack of support and information

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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends

People's stories

Aged 61-70

Interview 14

Interview 14

Age at Interview: 63
Sex: Female
Background: Retired accounts manager, married with two adult children. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.

Brief outline:She has cared for her husband full-time since he had a heart attack and life threatening infection that meant he had to have his leg amputated.

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Support and encourage the ill person, including when they feel low or frustrated and it feels difficult for you.
Print I think the only advice I could offer would be to say, give them a week, ten days to see how they settle down. If you see signs that they start feeling sorry for themselves then you have got to be cruel to be kind and give them a pep talk. And I think you will find they will respond. I mean my husband did, you know, he said “Oh I can't do this, can't do that”, and I said to him, “Hey look, you are alive. You weren't expected to be but you are alive” and I think that is the thing. And when they get impatient you have just got to try and soothe them. I think you have got to be very patient yourself really. Because they don't mean it but some days they will get ratty or whatever you want to say, they are not nasty but they get impatient and they are frustrated and they take that out on you because you are able bodied and you are the one doing everything. So you are first in line and they do take it out on you. They don't mean it. They really don't mean it. How have you dealt with that, the frustration and everything...? The frustration is really just talking and saying to him, “Look we have come this far, what is another month”. And this was because when he had the MRSA his appointment at the [hospital name] to have the cast for his new limb to be taken, was put back a month and he was disappointed and frustrated. And as I said to him, “We have come this far, what is another month. It gives you another month to build up your upper body strength”. And that is how you have to deal with it. You have to find something that is going to trigger them into saying, “Oh yes she is right,” you know, and sometimes it is easier than others. I feel I have been lucky because of the weather really. Because he has been able to get out and that has given him encouragement. So yes. That is the thing.

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