Niabingi - Interview 01
Age at Interview:
Age at Diagnosis:
Active service user; single. Ethnic background/nationality: Black-Caribbean (British born)
Brief outline:This 42 year old Black, British born woman was diagnosed at the age of 25 with paranoid schizophrenia but disagrees with the paranoid part. She believes that her mental distress was caused by the racism she experienced when growing up.
More about me...
But anyway so I went into hospital and… was there, I think about six, at least, at least six months, hated hospital for you know, you know, hated hospital, couldn't escape and started the process of a tribunal because I wanted, well I got into, I think I was there for about six, eight months or something but after about four months I said, “Oh I really want to leave this place,” and I was afraid that my, my bed at the hostel would go and I didn't want you know, to be homeless again. And well not homeless again but you know, you know, so I was sure that I'd find you know, somewhere to live but I just, you know, that was nice and clean and everything and you know, the people there, living there were good, it was you know, somewhere nice. anyway started a tribunal to get out of hospital and then, and won that, or semi won that, they had an agreement, the doctors agreed that I agreed with the doctors that I wouldn't leave immediately but they had, they said they were going to let me go in a few weeks' time anyway so if I agreed to sort of just waiting till that time I would definitely be released. So I agreed and they stuck to their word so I got released and went back to the hostel.
My message would be… [Exhales] don't, yeah don't, all is not lost, there is life after, I've said this before and even saying it on the reports, there is life after being diagnosed mentally ill or with mental distress or, you know, mental ill health, there is after, life after the mental health system. , you know, I would say sort of… I think, you know, there is something wrong, you know, I mean if, you know, you're behaving weirdly and stuff like that or if you've done something weird there is something wrong so you have to come to terms with that I think. And I think that was my biggest thing as well just coming to terms with there is something wrong. Or something has gone wrong at some point maybe not permanently wrong but that something has gone wrong at some point. I think try and come to terms with that and then don't, and then, and then be adventurous about what will heal you or get you better or get you back to some kind of normal state and you will be a changed person, I think you will be a changed person because after an experience like that I don't think you ever are the same, not necessarily mad forever but you will be a changed person. , you know, but a, be adventurous, try , you know, try different things that, you know, that can aid, aid healing and… yeah and I'd say listen to, listen to your inner self about, you know, what, what is good for you, you know, whether it's counselling or, you know, or, or, or therapy or a group session or, you know, or whatever just try and listen to yourself about what would be good for you.
No, but the black professionals have talked about my diet. Yeah. They haven't really, I mean they haven't really offered any alternative, although some of them I, I, yeah they've talked about my diet, they have talked about my diet and said, you know, things that can help apart from… you know, the medication. And not just that but they've been open to, so, when I talk about herbal remedies they've been more open to me sort of like trying it out and, and, and, you know, and, and, and the benefits of herbs, you know. Whereas the white, the white professionals have been very sceptical about herbs and the benefits that they could possibly have and, “Oh just take your medication [Niabingi], you know, you'll be alright, you don't want this and you don't want that.” They haven't been adventurous, you know, with, with how I see my healing, you know, to, in what form my healing could take.
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