Yes, we needed to balance it because I would still get very tired, and so I didn't want somebody who was there, talking all the time, because I found talking and listening tiring, and we, we might just go for a walk, and say very little really.... But just having their presence there. I don't, I don't know. I think I was frightened that I would go mad in some way, and loose control completely. That never happened, even when I was in hospital, that never happened. I was overly controlling really, but I just felt that if anything like that happened I'd got somebody there with me, and I was safe and [son's name] was safe. So as I say, I just remember someone sitting in the kitchen with me while I just tidied round and did the ironing. Somehow it just helped give me a little more motivation. We talked about very little. She just shared her day with me. It was very mundane, and then we just had a coffee. We didn't talk about a lot, we didn't say a lot, we just... having her there I just felt safe in some way.
So it was her presence more than conversation?
Yes, yes. As I was saying I did get very tired very quickly and I did have a friend that talked a lot, and I cut back from seeing her because it was just too wearing. |
