What have I learned? I've learned that the only thing that matters in life is love and peace. That, sort of, strict discipline is not important. It's balance that really matters. I've learnt that a breakdown can also be a breakthrough. I'm one of these people that's obviously had to be broken down in order to grow enough. I'm not saying that everybody needs to do that, they don't, in the severe way I have, but...
So what was the breakthrough..... the rigidity was breaking down?
The rigidity had to be broken down. I mean, after the first depression, my the religious binding, as it were, and I think religious, religion means that which is bound, but that had to be completely.... that was completely knocked out of me. Whether I liked it or not, and of course I felt, that, during that first depression, I was going about saying, "But what happens if there's no life after death?" All the doubts that I'd squashed in my teens were of course coming out now and I had to deal with them. They just hit me in the face. And I thought the end of the world had come. If this wasn't true, supposing it weren't true, life after death, you know. |
