Yes I have changed. Yes, because my husband was ill for 8 years and everything revolved around him and when I was ill nobody could believe I was ill, and thought well it can't be me, its never been me - I have to be the strong one.
But it can suddenly happen and maybe sometimes these things happen for the best 'cos you have to start taking notice of your own bodily... you know, requirements and sort yourself out, and you don't get another chance of it. You know I've got another chance and to be able to come through the initial scare when I had the, what I call this time, is cardiac arrest. So I've got to give myself the best chance and really do the things that have been recommended, but I have changed, in many ways.
The other thing you are supposed to do which is a bit strange is to look after yourself personally and make the most of yourself, because when people say to you oh you do look well, it makes you feel well and because you put an effort into yourself and into your clothing and into your makeup and into your hair and you change your hair style and change everything and you're different, they say oh you've lost weight, you look different, you look well and you think well I do believe them, I must look well, and it makes you feel good and if you feel good then you're sending the right messages to your body and it seems to work. You know you suddenly find that even if you are in bereavement, as I've been in bereavement, you tend to still feel quite... well at times, you know, and that's probably, and you have friends and neighbours and your children and your family are very supportive and they will tell you if you look awful! |
