I don't think I can fully talk to my wife sometimes about my concerns because [sigh] I think she overly worries about it. On some things she gets frightened and worried about it, and then I only get upset for her, which doesn't help me. So the point of trying to share it with somebody helping me, it just defeats it, all I'm doing is telling her something that upsets her and I'm thinking where was the benefit in that. That's not to say if there's something we need to worry about and do something about, that I certainly shouldn't be hiding something like that from her. But some of the concerns that you might just want to chat to somebody or you know, get off your chest, I wouldn't do it with my wife now because of having seeing her react.
Like if you imagine an ectopic before, “come on let's call”, just you know, and it, she, she just gets so upset and very worried and then that affects her and there isn't going to be necessarily a nasty outcome out of it, it's just I'm not so good. “Oh my god, what”, so I just, I just don't any more because I don't see any gain.
Is there anybody you do talk to?
Not so many no, I tend to probably keep most of it to myself.
Some of my family now and then, but I tend to, one or two friends, but again you don't overdo it, you don't overburden people with problems really. So I tend to just mull it over myself [pause] and then feel sorry for myself for a day now and then, and then [laughs] just get on with it, just carry on. Because you get, I only worry about things, I try to concentrate on things that you can do stuff about, but other stuff there's not a lot of point and that hasn't been a change of my personality that's how I've always been, I think you're just a little more focused on some things now.