Well I can’t really remember. Well about nine years ago, when it… I think I quite liked having Asperger's syndrome. I liked the the idea of because there is a very stereotype of Asperger's syndrome, being very, very sort of... logical and... almost like a robot type thing. Yeah. So like terminator, sort of terminator but with feelings. So yeah. A terminator but with feelings... I quite like that aspect of it.

 

But I can’t remember exactly how I... thought at the time. I don’t think I was surprised. I don’t think I was surprised. I think my clinical psychologist had an idea that I might have Asperger's. It was some of the things I used to do, I think, maybe like taking things literally and maybe being shy as well I think. And... being shy.

Yes. I used to do that a lot.

I still – I start listening to music and what I do is, I put maybe not the same album on once in a week, so I put them to a different side, so I start doing that and I have got this idea in my head. I listen to my own music, up until the 21^st of the month and then put the radio and listen to all other music after that. There is something appealing about numbers. I am fascinated with numbers. And... what else do I do? So there is music.

 

When I wash myself I have to do it five times. Whenever I’m in the bath I do it five times, washing, listening to music, eating. I don’t know why, but I count the number of mouthfuls I eat. I just do it automatically. Eating. Obviously I started breathing. I think I started that about 32 years ago. I started …  counting my breaths on the bus. First I did it counting to ten. Now it is twenty, twenties a day. So I start from one, outwards to, I count to twenty, because I am like concentrating on the numbers. It is like a meditation. It is not like just keep counting. I need to be aware enough to start again from one once I get to twenty. It is like a meditation. A concentration type thing. I got that from a book, from like ‘Heal your Life’ by  I forget what she is called... oh I have forgotten what she is called. ‘Heal your Life’ or something like that. I have forgotten what she is called now. It is a very interesting book.

 

And I am reading about the  ‘Hundred Things Everybody Should know How to do’. And I think I have to forewarn the female population because once I get into the book where it has got about  kissing and it has got about asking somebody out, so they are sort of forewarned, you know what I mean, yes. For the … yes. So a little bit of systemising. Not too much that it causes me a problem  [5 sec pause] but I do things in numbers.

I do get compulsions but I am a bit frightened to act them out sometimes, because it is a bit embarrassing asking somebody ‘did I say the wrong thing?’ There is something that stops me from doing it. I don’t know what. It is something inside which stops me from doing it.  [3 sec pause] Something inside, I don’t quite know what it is. It is just a feeling. Then because I have not said it, I feel a bit bad because I have not mentioned it, I have not asked if I have done the wrong thing. It is very important for me to do the right thing at all times so I worry about that a lot. Yes. Quite a bit.

I have done work experiences before and I have done quite well in them, but I don’t know how I would cope year in, year out, doing a job. I think I might find that, I could find that difficult, I am not sure. I could find a lot of problems with things like, like ethics, I think what I used to worry about was, if I was working, I would be paying taxes, and some of those taxes might go towards like weapons, that sort of thing. But I spend money though so maybe it is more then that. Maybe it is may be it is a fear of not being able to change something, maybe stuck in a job for all my life maybe. Maybe I find committing to things a bit difficult, I think. And maybe, maybe I might say the wrong thing, and people might not like me, or I might I might maybe, maybe my beliefs are a lot different to some people may be. Taking things literally, and to more extremes, and that might be difficult for some people I think, yes. I don’t really know.

I used to do these things like my hour books and sort problems like within an hour, or sometimes I only wrote sometimes the date on some of them. I didn’t really fill much in. And I really related… I think it was something on, it might have been QED. There was somebody on on the television and she’d I think she rate her days by ray of sunshine. She would like, like may be it was from one to a certain number, the higher the rays of sunshine the better day she had. And I thought that is similar to how I do things. Like systemising, like I used to what is it now, if it were 15 Celsius and below I would put a coat on, below 10 Celsius a hat. Above 20 Celsius sun cream. I used to have a little system for myself.  

 

Of course there are sort of loop holes in that. It can be 15 Celsius but pouring it down and of course I couldn’t go out with a coat, because I couldn’t do it. But now I just... I judge it on how I feel at the time. Sometimes my parents do actually tell me to put a coat on, because I am 32 but I am like a little, I am like a child. Yes. Yes. So.