I have found and I still find the most difficult thing… The mo- thing that I, I really find most difficult to deal with is not how I feel, it's how the other person would feel. So I'm having a long term relationship at the moment for… oh, it's been in fact 2 or 3 years. And that's very strong. 

But the, the thing I find the worst is the… kind of the sadness when they think about it. Or when I think about it. There's that kind of… Even though my doctor has told me that… He says, 'You're not going to die of this anymore. You know, you're going to die of a heart attack or be run over in the street.' It's that kind of… It's that… It is a, it is a rather… When I think about it, I find it, I find it rather sad. 

And I've found that issue I do dodge a little. The sadness of the HIV… I don't actually like seeing things on TV about HIV when I'm with my partner. It just makes me feel like oh my God, how can I… why did I… how did I become HIV? And how does it affect, you know, the person that I'm with? It's upsetting them. Because, you know, they're upset that I've got it.