Ah yeah, well that is something I've never been able to come to terms with. People [pause]… there might be something in my psyche that pushes people away; this is an individual thing. It's got nothing to do with anybody else, you know, but I have never been able to cope with the fact that people leave you, people who are supposed to be close and special, and role models, all sorts of things. 

The first one, of course, was my own mother. Although I don't really… it's not, it's not high on my agenda really, I don't think, think about it or anything, I do get a little bit upset when people are talking about their families, and I've got no real family as such to talk about. 

[sigh] I get a little bit sort of, I show a little bit of angst when a doctor says, 'Is there any diabetes or anything in your family?' and I get a little bit aggressive sometimes and I think, 'No, no, well of course not, I'm fucking adopted' you know, so there is no… there is no particular roots there, there's nothing that I can fall back on, nothing I can look at, I've got no past. That is a problem. Although I, you know, it's not, it's not, it's not a big problem in my life, it used to be.