Interview CC05  

Interview CC05

Age at Interview: 47
Sex: Female
Age at Diagnosis: 47
Background: Financial Assessor; divorced, 1 child.

Brief outline:Diagnosed with cervical cancer (adenocarcinoma) in 2001. After examination under anaesthetic (EUA) a hysterectomy was not possible. Radio-chemotherapy planned.


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Female
Describes how she told people in stages about her illness and how she felt relieved when everyone knew.

 



I've not kept it a secret from anyone but I told people at different times. For instance my employers, I gave them enough information for them to know that this wasn't just some little illness. Because at first I went into hospital and they knew I'd been in about a week but after all I could have been diagnosed with something very simple and been back at work. 

So they didn't think much of it. They didn't ask any questions. I didn't really need to tell them much. Of course then when it was diagnosed I just, at that point couldn't bring myself to tell them and I couldn't bring myself to ask anyone else to tell them. So at that point I left it that yes it was serious but it was still being looked into, just to get some time really. And I suppose it was hard. 

Its one thing telling family and friends, then it starts to move into other parts of your life. Work is such a big part of your life and to suddenly have to tell them, its like right now I'm in a truly different situation and I put it off for quite a while. And then one day I just woke up and I thought I'll write to them and I'll tell them. I kept in touch by phone but it was hard to talk because I knew the truth and I couldn't tell them but they would have guessed that it was not just any old illness. 

So in the end I suppose I became more organised and I sort of had my sort of organised head on and I thought right, I'll write to personnel, I won't pull any punches, I'll tell them the exact truth, exactly what I've been diagnosed with, all the hospital dates etc. I was very practical. And I told them I now want everyone to know and could they pass the information on to my manager and that I was quite happy for them to ring me. Because that's funny, its still a little bit of a sticking point picking up the phone and ringing people because its something I haven't done for a long time. 

So if people ring me I'm fine and I'm only just in the last couple of weeks been able to actually ring people. I can't quite grasp how I got into that sort of phase but I suppose it was because I cut myself off. And then at first I didn't even want anyone ringing me. Then I was open to that. So it was like a step on and a step on from that was me being able to ring out and I've kind of now conquered that. So I'm moving along. I've since spoken to my manager and I told him I was happy for my colleagues to know. In fact I said I wanted them to know whether they wanted to know or not, because I didn't want any misunderstandings. I was gonna be off work for a long time, if everything started to go well I will go back and I didn't want any misunderstandings, so I wanted them to know no matter what.  And I knew there were certain people who were more than work colleagues but I'd cut them out as well and they were so relieved when suddenly they had permission to ring and it was so much better for me. They were the last kind of stumbling block shall I say, because the friends and the family they were all done. And I still had these few people that I had to go through the awful truth with again and its like going back to square one, and they were the last stumbling block and I've got them all out of the way now. They all know and its amazing how much better I felt once all of that had been done. 

But I could only do it in stages. I couldn't rush it but I managed to get it all done in a relatively short time I think but I had to do it when I felt able to do it. Certain people I could only cope with at certain times. So I had a kind of deadline where I wanted this all sorted before I started the next lot of treatment. And now I feel much more at peace with it all shall we say, because there's no misunderstandings, everyone knows and everyone's been so helpful and practical. It brings out a lot of good in some people.

Jenni Murray - Cancer
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