There was one particular instance, when the impact of having a ill son really impacted on my experience in hospital after having my daughter, was when in the middle of the night I was having real trouble feeding my daughter and real trouble getting her to sleep, one of the midwives in really quite a kind gesture, took her off to try and get her to sleep, but there was no way I could then lie down get sleep for myself. I was hopping off the bed with fear that she was taking her away and I know rationally that she wasn't, her job was to help me.
[Mmm].
But having been there after having had my son in the same hospital, him having been taken away unexpectedly, much more quickly to the heart hospital than planned, and being left on my own without a baby I actually had a panic, I panicked, and had to sort of run crying to the midwife to get my baby back. Whether or not I was going to get any sleep, I didn't care, I needed her in my sight. And the midwife was quite offended and said, “What, do you think I'm going to run off with her or something?” And she wasn't particularly harsh, but she was sort of ridiculing me for being panicked. And I don't think she knew what had happened to me before, and she said, “Is this your first baby or something?” And I was like, “No, it's my second baby, but my, my first baby had really bad heart, heart problems and was separated from me very early and it” - I don't know whether I was even that articulate. I just sort of tried to explain why I was panicked and she sort of, I don't think she really understood. |
