Well, as I said I, I went back home twenty-four hours after the birth because I was feeling really well, I was walking about every where. It was heartbreaking to go home without him, and I was feeling a very bad mum for that, but I didn't want to stay more in the hospital. I wanted just to get on with my moving and my parents coming and, so every day I was doing half an hour trip to go and see my baby for, you know, a few hours or morning or an afternoon or more. And over there they were just very welcoming. It was like you had the hospital and as soon as you entered the special baby care unit, it's like a sort of home. It's like, oh, I don't know, well, yeah, a proper nursery thing. It's just really welcoming. They greet you, you get all the, the little things that you do. It's like routine things. You wash your hands. You put your coat there, and you go through there and you see your baby. And when he was better he had his own little room. And when there were seeing us coming with visitors they were coming with chairs, like they did with my parents. I mean, we were all around, you know, standing up, watching the baby, and suddenly very discreetly we looked behind us and there was chairs. And my Dad said, “Oh, wow. What was that for? Thank you very much.” And it was constantly asking if we needed something. [whispering] “If you need something, I'm just over there, ok? Don't hesitate to call me.” And that was like, “Oh, yes, wow.” I mean, OK, it was not crowded and busy, but I suppose it never gets crowded and busy. It's probably always a really relaxing place for the babies, but they were just very helpful, nearly part of the family in some aspects. And sometimes I was feeling, “Oh, what if my baby likes them more than me because they look after him so much better? I don't know how to look after a baby, they do” [laugh].
But it was just so strange atmosphere. You were feeling like in a cocoon, really protected. And I saw, I mean, all the different shifts because my baby stayed twenty days there, so I saw all different people working there. And some of them when I was arriving they were holding either my baby or another baby, and they were cuddling and kissing the babies and talking, you know, little words like, like a mum does. And I thought, “Wow. It's not just a job. It's more than a job, it's actually really caring for the babies, whoever they are.” And that was surprising. I never realised that people could be so committed. Well, it's lovely to have a baby, even if the baby's not yours, it's just lovely, but they were just so committed. And they talked me through everything, how to bath him, how to breast-feed, everything. They were just there every step - without me even asking sometimes, they were there. They knew probably, you know, what the next step was going to be, so they were telling me first before I was asking. And the day that we left the hospital was heart-breaking, because I wanted to go every day again to see them. I couldn't [laugh], I had no reasons, but it was like leaving, yeah, a part of the family or friends, and it was nearly tears. And they were like, “Oh, so our big boy is leaving now.” And one of them actually asked me, she was one of the newest ones. She said, “Well, I've looked after him for the last two days and a half, can I please go with you to the car park to the car?” I said, “Of course you can.” So she, she came downstairs with us. She escorted us to the car, just to say, you know, to stay a bit more with my son and to say goodbye. And so yeah, it was like really family. We went a few times after that to say hello. And each time it was the same atmosphere. You know, it's like, outside world, and you go through these doors and it's like oh, a different world completely. |
