Naomi – Interview 28
Age at Interview:
Age at Diagnosis:
Naomi is a project manager, married to Martin (Interview 29). Ethnic background: White British.
Brief outline:Naomi and her husband conceived twins using donor eggs and donor sperm. They travelled to Spain for treatment.
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Yes, I really resented it. Really resented the fact that we couldn’t just go to bed and get pregnant like every other couple can. The fact that, our children, well, the fact that now our children are actually genetically not going to be linked to us. In the miracles of modern science it means we can now have children it is amazing and we will be forever grateful to the people who donated their eggs as well. But it does anger me that we were never able to just go to bed, and have sex and have a child. You know, it’s not a right, that is completely the wrong word to use but it is what people see as a natural progression, and for that to be interrupted is really hard to deal with.
We had thought about it a lot. I don’t think I ever really accepted that it wouldn’t happen. I am not saying that was me being incredibly determined. I think that was me being very blinkered, and me just refusing to believe that it might not work. I think my husband was probably more geared up to it not working, but I think how ungeared up I was probably scared the hell out of him. And it was quite strange that it was the night before our embryo transfer in [city] and we were out for dinner and I actually said to him, “No if this doesn’t work we can still be really happy together as a couple.” I think that was the first time that I had ever actually accepted that it might not work, but that actually we would still be right together. Up until then, I think I had just thought naively, just thought it will work, it will work, it will work. I am just going to keep going until it works. And I imagine that probably scared him a bit, about what, there’s no guarantees, what if it doesn’t work?
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