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Ending a pregnancy for fetal abnormalityArrow
The effects of ending a pregnancy: Men's ideas about their role in ending a pregnancy 

Men and their role in ending a pregnancy

We talked to 9 men about their experiences of ending a pregnancy. All were affected by the experience and said it had changed the way they looked at themselves, their lives and their families. Here are some of their thoughts.

 

Supporting their partners

 

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Feels that his role was to help his wife recover properly by making sure she had enough time and space to herself.
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Thinks that it has helped his wife that he was there to listen and talk to her.
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He feels that men should be strong and describes how he helped his wife in practical ways.
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Feels that he and his wife supported each other through the termination and that he has accepted her anger and distress about the baby.

 

Things that men found difficult 

 

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He felt helpless when he saw his wife in distress and thinks that it can be difficult for men to sort out their feelings about termination.
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He tried to support his wife in all kinds of ways and realised the most difficult thing was keeping up a brave face.
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Describes feeling very anxious about the possibility of going through another pregnancy.

 

How ending the pregnancy has changed them

 

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His experience has affected his work and has made him more concerned about the children he encounters through his job.
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Says that having another baby as well as the passage of time helped him and his wife recover from the termination.
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Feels that the experience of ending a pregnancy has made his relationship with his wife even stronger.

 

A selection of what women said they valued about their partners - written clips only

 

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'He was a rock'.
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'I wouldn't have been able to go through that experience without my husband's support and his clarity of thought'.
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[About her partner] 'With him I felt safe because... this was our loss together'.
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[About her partner] 'He did try hard... he's very good at talking about things'.

 

Last reviewed August 2010.

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