They put me into a room on the labour ward, ironically. It was a room with just two beds and a window, and they just let me lie there and they n-, the midwives would come in occasionally and check on me. And the horrible thing about it is that, having had a baby before, it was such a different kind of experience. Because I didn't, I didn't have, there was no monitor to check the baby, you know. It was, there was no interest in the baby, it's just, you know, you're just there to give birth and they, you know. I know it's, that's the way it is, but that just, I found that so hard.
And then it took about, I think from about, till about 9 in the evening was when I went into labour. But unfortunately I had, I was in quite a lot of pain and I decided, they did offer me an epidural and at first I thought, “Oh, I can't have an epidural because I should...”. I felt guilty, I thought, “I should be suffering the pain because I'm making this deci-”. It's a very strange thing, it doesn't make sense to most people, but I just felt guilty for having to have pain relief. It's almost like I was, I don't know, I don't know how to explain it. Anyway, so I had the epidural but ironically it didn't work. So I felt all the pain anyway at the end of the day. And I felt the baby come out and everything. And he was born at 9 o'clock in the evening. |
