[Name] my husband was very, very upset as well throughout this whole experience, and he actually went to the partner of my doctor who died and asked for a sick note to recover and to spend time with me, at which point the doctor says, “Well what do you want one for, you've not lost a baby.”
And [name], my husband, for once in his life was very forceful and insisted and said, “It affects me as much as its affecting my wife.”
And it felt that there were some parts of the medical profession who either didn't read into us enough, didn't care about us enough or just swept us under the carpet. And at that point we changed doctors. It was, he said to me later on down the line, I'd been off for, I think I was off for 6 weeks and the midwife had come to me and said, “You take as long as you need,' she said, 'You need to recover”.
And so my sick note ran out, and I went back and said, “I still don't feel ready,” and he says, “Look, I'm only going to give you another week then you've got to get yourself back together and get to work”.
So it was sort of at that point that, 'That's it. I'm not going there again.' And it was sort of not understood how it affects you afterwards.
And it was, he was very angry at the time with a lot of people, and with what had happened with the post-mortem as well. It just felt... it felt like you were being treated, sort of as a failure, that you hadn't got a live pregnancy at the end of it.
And because you've actually, you've made the decision to terminate, maybe at certain points it felt like, 'Well, we don't deserve any sympathy. You've got to just get back to being you again.' Whereas I think if it'd had been a miscarriage or something had have happened spontaneously then I think maybe it would have been slightly different. |
