Yeah, I think it's for me, if I did this 100 times, this decision again I wouldn't change my decision. I don't have, knowing what I now know about the condition that the babies had and etc, etc, I don't have any dissonance about ending a pregnancy. I have a great sadness that I needed to face that decision and go through what we went through, but I never for a moment think either of the babies should have been born and been allowed to wither or survive for moments or days or whatever.
What I, I think I feel uncomfortable with is people not understanding it fully enough, and drawing their own conclusions about why we did it. And perhaps them in some how viewing it as, you know, the kind of designer baby stuff, you know, that them viewing that in somehow this baby was mildly imperfect and that we ended it's life. Because in a sentence you can't get across, you know, why we did it and why we believe it was the right thing for us to do.
And so I think that's why I sometimes feel uncomfortable about saying “termination” because I know they won't really understand, you know, the difficult decision we took when we made that, you know, albeit quick decision, you know, the difficulty and how ill the babies were and all that kind of stuff.
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