And I think we, you know, we received lots of cards and letters. And that was, that was, I found that very healing. That every day, you know, for about six weeks after, or four weeks, there'd always be something in the post to show that someone was thinking of us. And whatever, however few their words were, I found that really, really supportive. And I could just go back and read them and read them. You know, if I felt like I wanted to cry, I could read them and I'd cry.
And then I think we just sat in bed and cried every day for however many weeks. And it was just good to cry, to feel the pain, and to know that the pain doesn't go away but you deal with it and you learn from it and you cope with it, and it sort of just becomes smaller or you don't think about it every day.
I think I spoke to ARC (Antenatal Results and Choices) once or twice, it wasn't much. And they sort of listened, and, and I think, I think I spoke to ARC once and I spoke to someone else that had had a, a child with anencephaly once as well. I think [husband] and I, we used each other a lot, I mean we're both psychiatric nurses. He's not afraid to talk about his emotions. And we also, the chaplain came and visited us two or three times. And I think the funeral as well was very cathartic. That, that was quite important to us even though it was just the two of us there. It was... just very helpful in the, in the healing process. It doesn't mean that by the time the funeral has come and gone you're better but, so I mean I, we didn't get stuck into counselling but we did use the support we had around us, but perhaps not as much as, you know, we're all different. |
