So we were talking about when you were pregnant and how much you knew, did you go to ante-natal classes?
I came from Pakistan when I was pregnant I was very new here, and I couldn't go, I had got a leaflet and I couldn't understand, I couldn't see the street the names and I was very like I can see the I hadn't confidence to go outside, that's why I didn't go.
Did you speak English at that stage?
Yeah I learned from Pakistan but here accent is very different from Pakistan, very different and I've taken two years to learn here the accent, talking with people, my husband, my in-laws, brothers and sisters.
Right, so you didn't attend antenatal classes did you do any reading?
Yeah reading, yeah, books my health visitor gave me a lot of books, leaflets, I been reading all every week, like after two or three days when I was pregnant.
Right and what language were those in?
English.
In English? You were reading in English?
Yeah.
Did you get any material in your own languages?
Materials? No, I had a no need of it.
You didn't need it?
No.
Do you know if there are breastfeeding information leaflets and things available in Urdu for example?
Yeah.
or Parsi?
I know, I know but, I wanted to read in English yeah, 'cause I.
Good practice?
Yeah good practice I wanted to read in English and 'cause for knowledge or for my child or for, what d'you call it? For in, living in England, 'cause here's everywhere English. You can read the books, a lot of books they are very helpful, very helpful, every experience I had I read before doing my experience, I read in books and leaflets and I been watching videos.
Oh yeah, yeah?
Yeah I've got by my health visitor about breastfeeding and that was, that's why I was very excited, I couldn't wait to give my breastfeed to my son.
So you were looking forward to it you were very excited about it?
Yeah, very much, yeah very excited, I was very excited.
Yeah and it's lived up to expectations?
Yeah.
You've enjoyed it?
Yeah. |
Right, so you came home with this new baby?
Yeah it was very nice and, like I came as a mum [laughs], new mum and it was very, everyone well, was very happy, my in-laws, I went my in-laws home.
You went to your in-laws home?
Yeah 'cause nobody was here to help me about breastfeeding, about I had got stitches and I couldn't move, move and they helped me so much, that's why I stayed here.
And is that usual for people from your culture, your background do they go to live with their mother-in-law after the baby's born?
In Pakistan or here?
Both.
Yeah in Pakistan they go, their relatives and they help them yeah, like I been my mother-in-law's house.
And in Britain is that quite common too for Pakistani women in Britain to go and live with their mother-in-law?
Yeah like yeah, I feel that many relatives go there.
To the mother-in-law's?
Oh yeah mother-in-law's or sisters, sister-in-law's yeah to help them or, having help.
And what sort of help did she give you?
Like cooking, cleaning, looking after the big children, older children, yeah like this washing.
Did you have any responsibilities there or was, were you just responsible for looking after your baby?
Yeah just I was look, looking after my baby, that's it. Just giving him milk and changing him, that's it.
And what about at night time?
At night time he's been waking 'cause he was too small and he couldn't, he didn't know how to breastfeed or, with the time he, after about two or three weeks he was good, he slept at night about half night and he wake up again, but I missed the, those days 'cause they were very lovely, everyone was sleeping and both we wake up and he's been talking, my son been talking to me when he was little, he's been waking but not too much.
So when you first came home from hospital you fed him whenever he wanted it, night and day?
Yeah.
At night time did you sleep with your baby beside you?
Just for breastfeeding, not with me, I put him in a cot or a little basket.
He was in a basket beside you?
Yeah, near my bed, and when I fed him, in my hands?
Yeah you held him in your arms to feed him and then put him back in his basket?
Yeah.
Good.
In basket when he slept again.
Right, okay. And did your mother-in-law get up to help with those feeds?
Yeah when my nipple was sore and full of breastmilk, full of milk she, massage my breasts with the oil or creams, and she helped me yeah.
And what about, what special foods, did she feed you special foods to?
Yeah soups and soft vegetables, juices, and like chicken, eggs, cheese which were good for me and for my son.
Did you avoid anything like particularly spicy foods or anything like that?
Yeah I didn't, I didn't eat spicy food, I don't like too much spicy food, a little bit is okay but I didn't like it at that time 'cause I, when I was pregnant I didn't eat spicy food.
So you went off the spicy food when you were pregnant?
Yeah, yeah, I used just, one chilli or like my curries and that's it, so not very spicy.
Okay how long did you stay with your mother-in-law?
About forty days, forty days and then we all came back, our home.
And, were there other people in the house?
There, my mother-in-law's house? Yeah my sister-in-laws they came about every day, they came and they helped my mother-in-law, to see my child, to see me and they were all, we were very happy, 'cause they came auntie's and mother-in-laws and uncles, they were very happy to see every day my son and me, 'cause new arrival [laughs].
Yeah very special?
Yeah very special [laughs].
And what about during the daytime were there people in the house during the daytime or were you on your own?
Yeah a lot of, in our like culture, our relatives come when new baby comes at home, they come with gifts so, for baby, for mum and they came, a lot of relatives came and, it was like, it was gathering all day.
Gathering all day?
Yeah, yeah, and it was very nice to see everybody, they are happy to see my child and me, they came to congratulate me and my in-laws.
Did you breastfeed in front of those people or did you go to another room when the baby needed feeding?
No they just they just see me and meet me and then go back down, I was upstairs. I did breastfeed in front of my relatives girls or women.
The women?
Yeah, yeah I did.
But not the men?
No man, no, no.
You said to me before that you were lonely.
Yeah when I came home.
When you came home to your own home?
Yeah, yeah, a little time for about a month I couldn't settle with.
'Cause you were on your own?
Yeah settle, settle with my child but after one month it was with the time it became very easy and simple when I understand my child and he understood me, it was very easy with the time, the passing time.
So in your own home there was just you and your husband and your baby?
Yeah.
And your husband went to work all day?
Yeah, yeah he does thirty-seven hours so.
And you found yourself on your own for the first time?
Yeah [laughs].
Was that hard?
Yeah it was hard but it was nice too, it was really, really nice experience with child. I was lonely before my child.
When you were at home? When you were pregnant?
Yeah when my husband went to work, I was on my own at home, very lonely, just reading books and go for walk. I was happy with my child as well 'cause he was with me.
Was company, right.
Two people yeah very, very nice company.
And he keeps you busy?
Every day yeah, every day nice experience, every day new movements and, talking, crawling, sitting
Smiling?
Yeah smiling. Very nice experience, yeah. |
