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She saw a video of someone breastfeeding at her antenatal class but she was too focused on the birth to really understand the talk.
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While I was pregnant, there was a little bit of help from the antenatal classes it was really a series of, I just did four classes, so they did a little section on breastfeeding and I think they put, I think they showed us a video clip of someone. Again I think I just, seeing the video clip I think I just assumed that it would come very, very naturally and didn't really, as they wouldn't, they wouldn't, they didn't really highlight the fact that a lot of people get soreness and that it's to do with the position and, again until you've actually experienced it you don't really sort of fully comprehend what they're talking about. And also I think in the ante-natal classes they were so focused towards the actual birth and I think my mind is probably more thinking about labour and the hospital and that side of things that, yeah I, I didn't really, probably give enough thought to breastfeeding. |
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She would not sun bathe topless but breastfeeding in public has been no problem except for one time when she had disapproving looks from a family seated next to her in a tea shop.
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Yeah I've always fed in public. I've always been very self-conscious, I would never, I've never ever sunbathed topless, but breastfeeding children no problems at all [laughs] but I think, you know, you can do it very discreetly, people don't need to know. I suppose with Abby again, my first, I was a little bit, you know, those first few outings and the first time you breastfeed in public is, you do get a little bit anxious about it and I was and I used to wear shawls, you know, they had all those big pashminas which were fantastic and I would just feed her and I'd just pop a shawl over her and give her a feed there and then.
Did you ever get any looks or comments?
Once, I've had one, there's one, once it was down at, I was in a tea shop, and I was feeding her, it was one of these set ups where you have a couple of little booths. And we were in a booth and there were two tables per booth and I was in there with my mother and I was feeding Abby and a family came and sat down, you know, we, so we were already established and I was already feeding her, and I think only once they sat down they realised what I was doing and they made a real point of turning their backs to us and putting the menu up and, and that I think it was the only time I've had any negative.
So that putting the menu up was by way of their protection or yours? Were they trying to preserve your privacy or they'd just…
No.
…disapproved?
They disapproved, they were, it was very, they had two children with them I think, their children must have been early teens maybe, but it was very much a turn, turn their backs to us, which.
How did that make you feel?
Cross actually, I was a bit, no firstly we were there [laughs] we were there first and, you know, it had obviously not been that obvious for them to be able to come and sit down at the table and take their place there. so it was, you know, and especially having children themselves I thought 'Well that's a bit unusual' but that's as I say, I mean I've, readily breastfed in public and that's the only time I've had a problem, but I wouldn't have expected a problem to be from a family so that was quite a shock really. |
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Her first baby slept in the nursery but her second slept in the family bed which she says was a natural thing to do.
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And again as soon as we got into the night time feeding she was in the babygrow, we stopped really talking to her and stimulating her and that would be a case of just picking her up, putting her to the breast, feeding her rather than sort of talking and playing and, and stimulating her.
A lot of people have talked to me about that idea where do you think you got that idea from to keep the night time slightly different from…
The day time?
…the daytime, quieter and more subdued?
I think it was just talking to friends, and really I think it was just something, it just seemed to make sense, you talk about just trying to calm, calm children in the evening and, and as I say keep the lighting subdued, a top tip that a friend had given us is, in the nursery always put on a dimmer switch, it's a small job to do but put on a dimmer switch to make sure that if you are going to put on lights it's very low lighting, very soft lighting and as I say just walking in and just quietly feeding the baby and then putting her down which we did and, so I'd say that's really the only routine we stuck to was trying to modify the way we fed during the day and night which as I say then, then turned into.
So she slept in the nursery and you went through there to feed her at night?
We did with Abby yes, yeah, yeah, we went down to my mother's first of all and she was in the same room with us but we have a little nursery that's just off our bedroom so she was very close, so you could hear her very clearly so.
And did you do that differently with your second child?
Very differently with [laughs] our second child, very differently with the second child again because of the proximity of rooms we've actually had Rosie in bed with us and.
Sleeping all night?
Yes [laughs] absolutely, and.
Did that make the breastfeeding easier?
I wouldn't say it made it easier, well it made a lot easier for me in terms of sleep, because I've been able to just literally just roll over, give her a feed, go back to sleep so really we're both half asleep while we're doing it, there's, there's minimal disruption to either her or myself so yes. But as I say with, with Abby it was, you know, slightly different and we probably, we didn't have the confidence really to have her in bed we were worried that we might roll on her with Abby what we used to do is we'd bring her down in the morning at about five or six o'clock and then she would stay in bed with us until we got up but as I say with, with our second child she's been in bed with us.
Did you notice any difference in their night time feeding patterns or anything between having one in a nursery separate from you and one in the bed with you, with frequency or length of feeding anything like that?
The girls have been very different, Abby was a hungrier baby full stop. She's been, she would feed for longer [pause], I wouldn't say it was a huge amount of difference between the two of them being in the, where they've been sleeping in terms of feeding, Rose, the youngest will, she'll wake up, yeah I suppose I'll give her a feed [pause] no I wouldn't say it's, the number of feeds has really increased maybe for, because I'm there and she knows the milk is close at hand it's maybe given her slight more information to snack but she's not really she's not really done that, maybe a little bit more when she was younger but now as she's getting a little bit older she's now closer to six months.
And how often is she feeding in the night now, do you think?
Twice, I feed twice, I'll feed her normally at about eleven and then normally do a feed I suppose about, it can be anywhere between about three and six o'clock so so.
Do you change her at that stage?
No, no, no, no.
With Abby when she was in the nursery and you got up to feed her did you change her at that stage?
Not unless she needed changing, if there was a need for changing, if there was a wet nappy we'd leave that until the morning just to, absolutely minimise any disruption, not wanting to wake her up as I say, 'cause as, as gently as you can try and change [laughs] your baby [laughs], cold wet wipes and going to, they'll wake so no, no.
How did you come to terms with, rationalise, overcome the advice from other people not to sleep with your baby and realise that this is what you wanted to do and it was okay for you, how did you make that decision, how do you think about it?
About it [Sighs]. Well I mean my husband and I we talked about it from logistics having an older girl we, it was more important, we didn't want to wake up our older girl with cries of the younger so again that, that came into play thinking, you know, we don't want Abby's sleep disrupted, as it turns out, I mean Abby can sleep through anything so she doesn't actually wake to Rosie crying but we didn't want that as an interruption. My husband's more nervous about it so she will sleep between me and the side of the bed and we have a buffer at the side of the bed 'cause my husband's less confident about being able to, not rolling on top of her and he worries about that whereas, you know, I've not.
Do you have any other special arrangements like her own blanket or other pillows and or anything like that?
She doesn't have pillows round her area, so we move the pillows away from her and then she does she's, yeah she has a light blanket, just, rather than the heavy duvet and we don't want her to get too covered by it obviously, don't want her to get covered by that, so, so we try and create, give her obviously a bit of space there so while she's in with us.
Right.
Luckily we've got enough, big enough bed for it [laughs]. Yeah, no I've I think it's having a child sleeping next to you is a very, very natural thing you are aware of them, you're very in tune with their noises, their sounds, in fact if she wakes for a feed at night she doesn't even cry she just literally, she, I can hear her moving and she'd just start to just sort of almost like lean over and sort of snuffle a little bit and that we know it's feed time so it's very, very, very easy. I've never, no never, never been anywhere near to rolling on her, I think you just become incredibly aware that they are there, you know, during early motherhood your sleep is never as deep anyway because you are so in tune with listening out to the sounds and the gurgles, and in terms of sleeping as soon as she wakes, you know, it's amazing you just you do, you do wake up. As I say it was always one of my real fears before having children I've always been a notoriously deep sleeper and, to the extent that, you know, people used to always have quite a joke with me about it and it was honestly quite a genuine fear of mine I thought, 'if I have children I'm not going to wake to them', you know [laughs], and I was quite worried about it, but you do, I think you just, it is something that clicks in. My mother said it will happen, she said, “Oh don't, don't you worry you and, you'll wake, you'll hear your babies” and you do, you do, you definitely hear. And in terms of sleeping I mean Rosie will, you know, either, she'll wake just before me or I'll wake just before her. When she was very little it was, yeah, you know, it was.
So you latch her on, lying in bed?
Lying in bed.
Do you sit up?
No, no. When, when she was very little, a new born again, to lift her into the position properly we'd sit in bed and feed, but now we'll lie and feed.
And give her both sides, out of bed like that?
No I do, I, each feed I'll just give her one, one breast per feed.
And you do that during the day as well?
Yeah.
Yeah.
She only ever has one yeah she'll have one breast at a time.
So she latches on and feeds, do you both fall back to sleep again with her on the breast?
I wouldn't say fall a, certainly not a deep sleep but we just sort of drop off, I mean she, I mean she will if it's a night feed she will literally just drop off and then, because I'm, as I say, you talk about doing things in your sleep but I, it's just such a mild state, state of awakeness that actually, we just, you know, I can then just put my breast away and just roll away, and I do it now without hard, you know, hardly waking myself, it's just become so. |
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She thought she would feed her second baby with ease but she had to learn to position her new baby correctly all over again. She was surprised by the after pains.
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Well Abby was my first now she was, well in the hospital I started feeding her there obviously she went she straight to the boob, I had a slight struggle with her when I first started a feeding, I thought I had her properly latched on, but I got home and she was, she was, she got quite upset and realised actually I wasn't latching her properly, so I think probably the first couple of days she wasn't getting enough food, and then with a bit of a, the help from the visitor, the health visitors, and I also used a nipple shield for a little while with her just to get the confidence up and for her to really, sort of get the feeling of latching on properly, 'cause that was the problem she wasn't latching on properly, so yes so that was Abby. And then Rosie, having breastfed once before I thought it was going to be, plain sailing and I assumed that you'd almost pick up where you left off 'cause towards the end of breastfeeding you're far more confident and relaxed with it and you can sort of well not quite feed whilst walking round the house but, so I didn't, I assumed it would be very, very easy feeding Rosie but what I'd forgotten is actually with Rosie, oh well, she hadn't breastfed before whilst I'd done it before she hadn't. So she had to learn again, so again, it was about, a health visitor who came around and said, “Right try changing the angle because you're feeding in a position for feeding an older child, so what you need to do is actually remember she's still very little and, raise her back up to that position for, of the newborn feeding”. So, again, again, as soon as we got that sorted, it's been a, she was, she was fine from there.
Well this is it you think you know, you think if you've done the breastfeeding before and you just assume you'll pick up where you left off, and so having already breastfed one child I assumed that I would, you know, go to hospital, have a second baby and put the baby straight on and off we'd go. And whilst I was more confident the second time round it still wasn't as easy as I had anticipated I had expected it to be, as I say, I'd expected to feed her instantly and she would latch on, but what I was forgetting in the equation is that whilst I'd breastfed before she hadn't and that, the first time round both mother and child are learning to breastfeed, second time round whilst the mother may have confidence in it the child has never fed before so yeah had to really, then had to do a slight, take a step back and I had to reassess my positioning of her I was, I was holding her in a way that I'd, I would have held an older child to feed and actually what the health, the health visitor came round and said, “No what you need to do is remember she's a smaller child I guess, smaller baby you need to lift her right up onto, and give her more assistance in feeding, you need to position her rather than her find the position” so yeah so that was something that slightly took, not, it was a lot easier feeding the second time round, but as I say, I hadn't expected to have that, just initial hitch where it's like, “Oh ok”.
How long did it take you to get it right?
Probably three or four days to really, you know, get back into finding the right position and really getting her, held in closer and, it was getting used to, lifting the rest of her body I would say is the main thing and just getting her for the whole, the whole of her raised up. And then once obviously you've done it a few times you then, find a position that's natural to you and the health visitor had suggested trying different positions, maybe trying the, as she called it, 'The rugby ball' position sort of under, which I tried for a little while I, it didn't really work for me I know it works for some people, so I then changed it back again [laughs].
How did you know you had to do something different, what was going wrong?
Well that was, the health visitor came round and said, “Well have you tried this position? Let's try that for you” and, you know, “We'll talk through the posture and say right, well you need to be sitting like this and if you try your child at that angle”.
Was she unsettled or fussy, not getting the milk?
No she was, she was getting the milk, as I say, and she was never as hungry as her sister, I was getting slightly sore nipples the second time and so it was, again it was onto, it was the issue of latching on properly, and I think what I did the second time is with the help of that health visitor really worked it out from a very early stage, getting that position right we were then able to see it through, so I'd never used a nipple shield with my youngest daughter.
So once you'd got it right did the sore nipples subside?
Absolutely, yeah, it was just, it was, it was never cracking it was, they just, it was almost went a sort of a little bit, not blue but [sighs] they're almost like a little sore across the top.
Quite raw?
Yeah quite raw, it wasn't the cracking but it was just, it was definitely sore. And also the other thing that surprised me with second child is the, the after pains that come on with, with the breastfeeding that was something that again, I had no idea about, I hadn't realised that, no because really with the second child which I hadn't had at all with the first child, was these after pains where it's like a contraction, and it is your uterus contracting but as soon as the baby latches on it was really, it's like, “Woah” [laughs] which as I say took me by surprise when it first happened. |
