Can you remember how you've felt or what you've thought when your wife said she wanted to breastfeed?
I was chuffed actually I thought it, “Good on ya” it would be good for her to, I knew it was good for baby I, and by this point I was a bit old and so it wasn't kind of the, I mean, I thought it was good for baby, I was concerned about her get, at that time, you know, breastfeeding in public, not so much of me being embarrassed or anything but more public reaction to her. But she was, I was really, basically more impressed with her determination she had that she wanted to do it and the focus that she had, that she wanted to do it, and I just thought, 'Yeah well, you know, if that's what you want to do, that's what you want to do, you know, we'll go, you know, go for it and I'll support you any way I can'.
So what did you see your role would be in all of that?
Well [laughs], briefly I thought that (a) she's breastfeeding the child that means I don't get up at night, excellent, that changed. You know, basically my role would always be supportive and that's how I always saw myself to be as the support, support mechanism for her, and we do work very much as a team anyway. But we do but so like basically if the night feeds, I'll get up with her, you know, change baby's bum, do bits and pieces, so, 'cause obviously breastfeeding takes a lot more energy out of, out of the lady than, you know, than the feeding does. So I basically took up the role of doing the extra bits so like mum would get up and, you know, she'd get up and do the feeding and then I'd get up and like burp him, change him, do all the bits and pieces, give him another feed give her back and then he can have a feed, that's how the roles set it. To be honest that's how it stayed for both my younger children I mean even with my youngest one now I get up, I mean, for example last night I was up every two hours with him, in fact, no last night I was up from eleven, from eleven till three and then four till six with him because he was having a bit of a bad time, he's not very well at the moment.
I have heard people say that they want to put the baby onto a bottle early for two reasons and I want to ask about each of these.
Okay.
Firstly, so that they can go out with their partner and leave the baby with someone else. And secondly, so that the father can feed the baby. Talk to me about the father feeding the baby, do you ever feel resentful that you can't feed the baby?
No, because I can, you see, you can express milk, there is no reason why, as long as the breastfeeding is at, I mean this is a personal opinion but, with breast, fathers feeding the breastfed child, you can do that because you can express milk. I mean at the moment I've got two lots of breastmilk in the freezer, my other half's going out tonight, she's going to have a couple of drinks 'cause she deserves it, fair enough, so tonight for the first few feeds, if he does wake up tonight, he's not going to be able to feed off her, I've got some milk ready to go, so I can just say alright fine I'll just take over breastfeeding. Blokes that feel resentful, in my personal opinion, I understand why blokes feel resentful for their wives breastfeeding, and feeling left out, but mostly it is a jealousy issue or it's an issue where they just feel that they're being left out of the loop altogether. But there's ways around it, you just find a way, seriously you just find a way, you know, it's expressing milk, and also not being funny and to any bloke that may be listening to this in the future to get yourself major brownie points offering to feed a child while your ma, partner's absolutely exhausted will get you, gain you so many brownie points it's unbelievable.
What would you say to a young man whose partner's expecting their first baby?
Prepare for no sleep. Prepare for lots of coffee. Red Bull works amazing. Basically, for a partner with someone who's expecting, I suppose the sarcastic answer would be, “Say goodbye to your friends, because you won't be seeing them for a long time.” However, I suppose, honestly I'd say that, congrats, you know, you're going to be going to be a dad, this is going to be probably the wildest ride you've ever been in your entire life, but you know, it's going to be fun, it's going to be hectic. Imagine the scariest rollercoaster you can and that's what you're going to be going through. You're going to have highs, you're going to have lows, you're going to have yourself scared out of your brains, especially if you decide to go in there with them, while they're giving birth, you're going to have really good, you know, experiences, where you're going to see, hopefully, your boy kicking a football, or your girl kicking a football, 'cause, I'm not sexist, and they love football. |
