Well, the twenty week scan was done at this local hospital, and I can remember being very excited about it, because I thought we were going to see a really good picture of the baby… So I was quite excited about this anomaly scan. And it was a very cold day. I think it might have even been New Year's Eve or something. It was very close to the holiday, I remember that.
And it took us a little while to find. And it was very unfortunate that there was little communication, we felt, between the scanner and ourselves. It was almost as if they just wanted to get through their quota of women for that day. And I'm sure it's because it was the holiday period, that's the only thing I can think of that, you know, that they really didn't want to be there.
So whilst it was lovely seeing, again it was lovely seeing our baby on the scan, there was a definite lack of attention to us. And I must admit I came away feeling really worried, because I felt that I hadn't seen anything, that it was sort of vaguely indicated to me that that was the heart and vaguely indicated that that was, you know, that was the spine. And I do remember coming away feeling really disappointed, you know, deflated that I hadn't come away reassured that everything was OK.
Deep down I think I knew, you know, in my heart of hearts that if there was a problem I think instinctively I would know. But there was just something about it that made me think, “Oh, what a let-down, what a complete let-down.” And just felt very upset about it really. It did take me quite a while afterwards to sort of get past that.
And I remember when I eventually went to the hospital where I had my daughter, I actually requested another scan, because I just thought, “Oh, I think they've missed something.” because I was churning it over in my mind so much I had to be talked to, really. And they said, “Don't, you know - they've written down here everything that they've seen. Don't worry about it, you know. They obviously have done what they were supposed to do.”
But it was just that, it was the feeling that, because they didn't communicate - it was just, there was no sort of pleasantries I suppose, and it doesn't take much to give a brief smile to somebody, you know. You're not asking for too much. |
