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Motor Neurone DiseaseArrow
ALS- amyotrophic lateral sclerosis/MND aged 65+
Cordelia - Interview 13  

Cordelia - Interview 13

Age at Interview: 76
Sex: Female
Age at Diagnosis: 75
Background: Cordelia is a married housewife with 6 adult children. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.
Brief outline:Cordelia was diagnosed a year ago (2005) with MND after investigations for other conditions including spinal muscular atrophy. She now has considerable muscle weakness.

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Female
Her consultant has reassured her about what the end of life will be like. She has some faith, but death is hard to come to terms with. She feels frightened but not afraid.

 



Well, I got the MND thing on dying. They don't send that to you automatically but they sent it when I asked for it. And the specialist was very consoling. Of course I don't suppose really they should, it obviously isn't always easy, but as regards the mechanics of dying he was very consoling. He said, “You will probably die of pneumonia and it won't be too bad.” But obviously that is the bit you have to get your head about. We have got a very nice local vicar and I do have a faith of some sorts which is not as good as it should be. So I work at it. I think I look at it that I have got maybe five years, maybe less, and I have got to cope with this. Death is something I have got to go through like everybody else and I want to do it properly and I want to get everything sorted for the family and I don't feel - no, I feel frightened of it, but I don't feel afraid of it, strangely enough. No, I do have awful dark moments because you look around and you think, “I don't believe I am not going to be here in one minute, next minute I am not here. How can I possibly not be here? I am me, you know, and nothing can take me away.” And that is what you have to learn to get your head round.

And that has taken time?

Oh yes. It will take a long time. I don't suppose I'll get there. I shall try. And my children are obviously very upset and it is difficult to talk to them about faith because most of the younger generation don't have any.
Jonathan Miller - Motor Neurone
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