I think you have to be terribly flexible, I think its no good having any kind of set idea of how things are going to go. The life for a carer for someone with dementia is so, uncertain, that I think you don't have to be worried if things don't go according to plan, you have to change your plans, your ideas, you timetable almost from minute to minute and I think that flexibility's quite important.

I think you have to be able to find your pleasures in small everyday things. Many of the, large elements in a relationship, in a marriage maybe have gone. For example for us I think maybe holidays are no longer going to be possible.  Who knows maybe we'll find a way of solving that problem but at the moment that looks to be unlikely.

Therefore, you have to sort of look for things that will give you, that will give you pleasure on a, on a day-to-day basis. It may be just a walk in the park, a really nice meal, listening to a favourite piece of music, those kind of things, small everyday things that just give you pleasure, both of you pleasure from, from minute to minute.

And I think trying to find opportunities to laugh and that's not always easy to do but, if you can I think, it just helps to lighten the burden I think.