ANOTHER Day in Paradise As bed time approached last night I knew I was in for a bad night. The “Clouds” that invade my brain were coming thick and fast and I seemed to lose a certain sense of reality. I was thankful it was bedtime, albeit an hour earlier than I usually go to sleep. I saw my darling wife looking at me and could see the hurt in her eyes as I knew, that she knew, what was happening so off to bed I toddled. As I lay there my thoughts always seem to drift back to when I was younger and sometimes I can smell the freshly cut grass from the local park I used to play football on when I was a lad, or the pies being baked daily from Kirks Ye Old Pasty Shoppe just down the road from where I lived, all gone now, a very long time ago. I have trouble sleeping because my legs don’t seem to be my own and the only way I can explain it , it’s like I myself am outside looking in. Eventually, half an hour after my darling wife has come to bed I finally drop off to sleep, only for the nightly nightmares to start. They never let up, as I close my eyes they start and only stop when I get up in the morning, they are constant and reliably regular, does anybody out there suffer these same as me?? Answers on a post card please!!LOL The morning brings a welcome respite from the bad dreams and I don’t feel that bad today. We decide to go for a ride over Dartmoor as the sun is shining and the weather is warming up. I don’t drive thank fully and never have but I am lucky as my wife loves driving. As we pass through Ashbourton (Gateway to the moors) I ask my wife if we have ever been this way over Dartmoor before. With sadness in her voice she says “Many times” but I reply HEY!! Why so sad? This is beautiful countryside and the ONE saving grace of this illness is I can look and wonder at the views as it was my first time!!LOL so please don’t be sad. We laugh! In fact we do a lot of laughing, together forever with three grown up children and eight grandchildren and a great grandchild on the way (yes I am only 51, so you work the maths out!!LOL) it’s the best way to cope with this dreaded illness. We stop where the view is at its best and near a herd of wild Dartmoor ponies munching away on the gorse. Silence descends as we take in all that’s around us and for a brief moment I think about all the people in the towns and cities nearby who are just getting on with their daily lives ( As they should) not knowing something like my illness could be just around the corner for them. My heart pounds as i feel so guilty at thinking his but I also feel so sorry for them and hope they never experience anything like my family and I have had to. What I thought was only a moment’s lapse of concentration turned out to be some kind of Catatonic trance and my wife had been trying to talk to me for about ten minutes without reply until eventually she gently nudged my arm and brought me back to reality. If this does happen to anyone you know with the big “A” please be gentle with them as they don’t realise they are doing it and shouting really doesn’t help!!LOL After lunch and coffee we eventually arrive home only to find I had left the front door open!! I thought I was doing well!!LOL. And yes the love of my life gives me that knowing look, I shrug my shoulders and again we arrived home laughing. Thankfully we live in a street that has been frozen in time and we still wave and talk to all our neighbours!!LOL So all in all a good day was had. We take each day as it comes and try to do what we can when we can. I have written a list of “Things to do “As I cross them off would you like to hear about them? Let me know please, thanks for taking the time to read this as I know how busy all you carers are and God bless every one of you, Best wishes, Norrms and family