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Living with DyingArrow
Age 51-60
Interview 09  

Interview 09

Age at Interview: 52
Sex: Male
Age at Diagnosis: 37
Background: Company director (retired), divorced, 2 children
Brief outline:Diagnosed with testicular cancer 1991, followed by right orchidectomy and chemotherapy. In 1993, pain in lower abdomen. Left testicle was found to be fibrosed and infected. Left orchidectomy, and testosterone replacement. Also has kidney disease and diabetes as the result of treatment.


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If he loses his ability to communicate he does not want to be revived and he wants a peaceful death.

 



Now one of the things, talking about things that I want to do... I have very strong views on what I want in the way of medical care, and, I think you call it a “living will”.  All I have... I'm not a model. I've not got these fantastic features that girls run after. I recognise that I'm fifty two years old. I don't use Grecian 2000 to get out the Grey. I refused to. I like my hair the way it is. All I have is my intellect. I'm told that I have a very high IQ and I'm very intelligent and because of that I can handle physical disability. As I said, when I was a child I had polio and I handled that. 

I use a wheelchair a lot when I'm out and that doesn't bother me because I see that as a positive aid letting me do my shopping, letting me go places to shopping centres and malls and places that otherwise I would just be too exhausted to go round on foot. 

If I were to have a stroke or any sudden illness that impaired my ability to communicate and my ability to interrelate with other people, that made me totally dependent on outside help, I've made it very clear to three separate people that I do not wish to be revived under any circumstances. I don't want to be a burden on other people. I don't want to be totally dependent. I don't want somebody changing me and cleaning me and spoon feeding me. 

The biggest joy that I have is the fact that I can talk to my friends and conduct an intelligent conversation and answer questions on University Challenge and all those sorts of things, and enjoy a good film, and talk about art and  things like that. If I can't do those things and I'm just detached completely in my own little world, I don't want to be a part of it and I can't handle it. And also going onto that when the real final day or hours come I don't want masses of machines and tubes I want them all taken out, I wanna be as peaceful and as natural as possible I don't want them to, fill every little hole that I have in my body with something you know? 

I just want it to be natural. I want all the stuff taken away. Only the things that if I need a breathing machine, fine but apart from that I don't want drips, I don't want lines, I don't want tubes, I just want it to be as natural and as quiet and as peaceful as possible.
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