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Living with DyingArrow
Age 61-70
Interview 02  

Interview 02

Age at Interview: 61
Sex: Female
Age at Diagnosis: 59
Background: Divorced, accounts manager (retired), 4 children
Brief outline:Diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001, lumpectomy, followed by radiotherapy and chemotherapy


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Female
Having seen others die she hopes that when she nears death she will be able to end her life with someone else's help.

 



I spent a month in the hospice before you know and after having this shunt fitted and in that month just unfortunately probably nine different ladies came into the ward and died. I watched them. I saw them come in on day one they'd be fine, chatting and by about day four or five they'd gone. So I have seen what happens at the end and if I could avoid it happening to me I would, simple as that. I know what I've got to look forward to. 

It's was bad luck really in a way for me that I spent that month in the hospice really bad luck because I've seen it first hand where as in the past I could only guess at I suppose what it could be like at the end and its not a pleasant prospect and if I could just take enough of something to put myself to sleep for good. I would happily do it and... If somebody wants, you know wanted to help me... if somebody was brave enough to help me I'd be grateful to them.

Well some countries are introducing, it as a policy, aren't they? So it is being... 

Yes I know but I haven't read anything about it. I mean I've seen the headlines from time to time somebody went to the European court didn't they for the right to die? I can't remember what the outcome was now. 

But it's a way of people having control isn't it?

Yes, I was gonna say it's almost a nonsense if we can't decide what to do with our life at the end isn't it?  Why should a judge be able to say no I can't kill myself if I want to?

When you said it was bad luck to be in the hospice then, do you mean because there were that number of people who were coming to the end of their lives?

I think so, the nursing staff kept saying to me, “It's just unfortunate that you're here at this time”. It just happened to be a bad time for them apparently, but it wasn't pleasant. It wasn't a pleasant experience for me.
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