The Macmillan nurses and the hospice nurses; we'll do those first; there were sometimes... it was quite stressful at home and still can be sometimes because my family don't want to think about me dying and sometimes I get depressed about it and they don't like me being depressed and particularly my husband, it will set off a row or words spoken. And I can say things there or to my Macmillan nurse and they understand and I can voice my feelings, and vent my feelings about this and there aren't any recriminations and I've been heard and I've listened too and that's the support you know.
I've found it really, really helpful because the family, the children, I mean the boys are twenty three and twenty one now and my daughter's coming up for fifteen, but they are of ages that they've not got the experience of life and they don't want to think about their mum being ill and my husband's much the same. He doesn't want to think about life without me so... But they can listen to those and they've heard a lot of it from other patients and know that it's... you feel well what they sort of say to you,” What you're saying is normal, and what you're going through".
So it's like a reassurance?
Reassurance, yeah.
You said earlier that when you heard the word Macmillan Nurse you thought well that's for people who are at the very end and you implied that you were kind of a bit put off about contacting them?
Yes, well I remember saying to this doctor who suggested it that, "Oh I thought it was just for those people who were you know, on their last few weeks dying", and she said, “Well I think it's worth a call, you know, they do more than that”. And I've discovered that's true and they're there for the whole family which is... I mean most of the family haven't really used my Macmillan Nurse. She's met everybody. I think my daughter thinks she's another mum-type figure and so do my sons but you know, they know that she's around.
My husband. I don't think he'll really mind me quoting him, and she came and met him and after she had gone he said, “She kept asking me how I feel”. I said, “Well yes, that's her job”. But they know she's there which is nice and she doesn't visit me that often now because she's got a big case load and because I'm going to the day centre, I've got support elsewhere. |
