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Bereavement due to suicide
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Full list of topics
Before the suicide :
People’s perceptions of why the suicide took place
Suicide notes
GPs and psychiatrists
Soon after the suicide :
Finding out
First reactions-shock, disbelief, despair & relief
Changing emotions-sadness, guilt & anger
Seeing the body or not being able to do so
Telling children and young people about a suicide
Other people’s reactions
Family dynamics
The press and other media involvement
Police involvement
Practical matters
The funeral, inquest, burial or cremation :
The funeral or commemoration
Burying the body or scattering or burying ashes
The headstone or other memorial
The inquest
Reactions to the verdict
Sources of help :
Informal support - Family and friends
Help and support from professionals
Self-help groups, conferences and helplines
Help from Cruse Bereavement Care
Help and information through the internet
Coping with grief and keeping memories alive
Support for children and young people
Life now and a message to others :
Adjusting to life without the person who died
Anniversaries and other special occasions
Messages to others who have been bereaved
Messages to professionals and policy makers
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Bereavement due to suicide
Subject index
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Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a partner, husband or wife
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Patricia - Interview 4
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Patricia recalls that someone who attended a ‘Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide’ meeting said that she feels as if she’s got ‘Suicide’s widow’ embla
Patricia’s husband, Andrew, had had depression for years. A number of times he had taken an overdose or tried to gas himself and then sought help. In 1994 he died in a car, due to carbon monoxide poisoning. Patricia found support via Cruse & SOBS.
Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a partner, husband or wife
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Dolores - Interview 29
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Dolores had to go to the hospital to identify her husband’s body. She wasn’t allowed to stay long. She felt ‘judged’ and did not think the hospital st
Dolores’ husband, Steve, developed mental health problems soon after their baby was born. He fell from a bridge in 2005 and died soon afterwards. Dolores felt distraught and very sad. She has found help though a psychologist, and SOBS, and web sites.
Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a partner, husband or wife
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Dolores - Interview 29
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Many people haven’t spoken to Dolores since Steve’s death. Her parents don’t mention his name. They are strict Catholics and regard suicide as a form
Dolores’ husband, Steve, developed mental health problems soon after their baby was born. He fell from a bridge in 2005 and died soon afterwards. Dolores felt distraught and very sad. She has found help though a psychologist, and SOBS, and web sites.
Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a child
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Margaret - Interview 40
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Margaret believes that the subject of suicide is taboo and that others see her as “contaminated”, because her daughter not only died in prison but als
Margaret’s daughter was in prison when she took her own life. Margaret was shocked by the news. The inquest found that there had been a lack of care while her daughter was in prison. Margaret found support from her dog, friends, SOBS & a counsellor.
Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a partner, husband or wife
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Marion - Interview 32
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Marion ‘felt’ that a stigma was attached to her because of the way Graham died. She acknowledges that she might have imagined this but that is what sh
Marion’s husband took his own life in 1996. He had taken alcohol and analgesics and died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Marion and their four children were shocked and devastated. They found support from SOBS, professional counselling and Noah’s Ark.
Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a partner, husband or wife
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Lucy - Interview 38
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Lucy says that stigma is attached to the word ‘suicide’ and she has experienced stigma since Darrell died. Some friends and colleagues avoided her.
Lucy’s partner, Darrell, committed suicide in 2005. He drove his car in front of a train. He had been depressed but his suicide was a complete shock to Lucy. She has found support through family and friends and via an online group, Widowed by Suicide.
Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a brother or sister
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Nina - Interview 11
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Nina says that suicide is such a hard death to deal with because it is stigmatised. She had to cope first with losing her brother and then with other
In 1999, Nina was shocked to hear that her brother, Joe, was in intensive care. He was aged 16. He had been found unconscious, hanging from a tree. He died three days later. Nina has found most support from friends, family, counsellors and SOBS.
Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a parent
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Rachel - Interview 15
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Other people recoiled in horror and didn’t expect Rachel to be ‘normal’ after she told them that her mother had shot herself.
In 1981 Rachel’s mother took her own life. She was probably ill with depression when she used a gun to kill herself. Rachel was 15 at the time and was not offered any professional support. Since then she has had some counselling, which has been helpful.
Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a brother or sister
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Kavita - Interview 33
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Kavita believes that there is stigma associated with suicide because others see suicide as cowardly, weak and selfish. She also thinks that in Hindu c
Kavita’s brother was 30 years old when he jumped to his death. He had been feeling suicidal for some time. Kavita felt “shattered” and desperately wanted help. She had counselling with a psychotherapist and found that SOBS was a “lifesaver”.
Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a partner, husband or wife
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Paula - Interview 28
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Paula has felt no stigma at all since her husband’s death. People have reacted with shock, surprise, concern and sympathy.
Paula’s husband had been depressed for a number of years. In 2005 he took his own life by hanging. This was a huge shock to Paula. She had weekly counselling for 6 months. Since then she has also found the WAY foundation very helpful and supportive.
Dying & bereavement
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Bereavement due to suicide
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Lost a partner, husband or wife
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Stephen - Interview 31
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Stephen believes that stigma is associated with mental illness but not with suicide.
In June 2006 Stephen returned home to find his wife, Gill, hanging in the hallway. She had been diagnosed with severe depression. Stephen found help from family, friends & Cruse. His daughters have been helped by the Charity, See Saw.
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