First reactions-shock, disbelief, despair & relief

Jenny’s husband had had episodes of depression. In 2007 he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Five days later he took his own life. Jenny has had support from family, friends, the WAY foundation and Cruse. Her baby is also a great comfort to her.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Patricia - Interview 4 >> When Patricia heard the news of Andrew’s death she wished a second police officer, perhaps a woman, had been there to offer her some human contact.

Patricia’s husband, Andrew, had had depression for years. A number of times he had taken an overdose or tried to gas himself and then sought help. In 1994 he died in a car, due to carbon monoxide poisoning. Patricia found support via Cruse & SOBS.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Stephen - Interview 31 >> Stephen’s first reaction to his wife’s death was one of horror. He was devastated. He screamed and screamed when he found her hanging.

In June 2006 Stephen returned home to find his wife, Gill, hanging in the hallway. She had been diagnosed with severe depression. Stephen found help from family, friends & Cruse. His daughters have been helped by the Charity, See Saw.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Amanda - Interview 5 >> Amanda had never seen a dead body before so before she saw her son she felt worried. It was a shock because he didn’t really look like Lori, but she’s

In 2005 Amanda’s son, Lori, took his own life. He was 21. Amanda thinks that sexual abuse may have been a reason for his suicide. She has found support via family, friends, church, internet [POS], Compassionate Friends, Papyrus, and psychotherapy.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Linda - Interview 35 >> Linda can think of no reason for her daughter’s suicide. Chloe’s death shocked the family completely.

In 2005 Linda’s 13 year old daughter took her own life. Linda and her family were shocked. Linda still feels devastated, but more in control, and is back at work. She has found help thought a psychologist and has attended a SOBS conference.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Margaret - Interview 40 >> Two policemen arrived at the house and told Margaret that her daughter had died. She was so shocked that she found it hard to understand what they wer

Margaret’s daughter was in prison when she took her own life. Margaret was shocked by the news. The inquest found that there had been a lack of care while her daughter was in prison. Margaret found support from her dog, friends, SOBS & a counsellor.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Kate - Interview 7 >> The police arrived at the house and told Kate that Anna had died. Kate’s other daughter, Izzy, had died by suicide only months earlier, so this was pa

Kate’s life has been devastated by the deaths of two of her daughters. They took their own lives by hanging, in 2006 & 2007. Kate has had support from family, friends and the church and says that answering emails from members of POS has also helped.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Marion - Interview 32 >> A policeman told Marion her husband was dead but he did not offer enough help. She felt that he was treating Graham like “a bit of paperwork”.

Marion’s husband took his own life in 1996. He had taken alcohol and analgesics and died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Marion and their four children were shocked and devastated. They found support from SOBS, professional counselling and Noah’s Ark.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Lucreta - Interview 39 >> A welfare officer at work told Lucreta that she had to go to the mortuary to identify a body. Lucreta was shocked to discover that her daughter, Dionn

In 1996, Lucreta’s daughter, Dionne (also called Dominique), jumped to her death. She was 18 when she died. Lucreta had no idea that Dionne had been so unhappy, and was shocked by her death. Lucreta has found support from friends, her church, her GP, and counsellors.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Dolores - Interview 29 >> Dolores had not been told how serious her husband’s injuries were before she arrived at the hospital, and she had to wait sometime before staff treati

Dolores’ husband, Steve, developed mental health problems soon after their baby was born. He fell from a bridge in 2005 and died soon afterwards. Dolores felt distraught and very sad. She has found help though a psychologist, and SOBS, and web sites.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Susan - Interview 20 >> Susan found Rose a few moments after she had shot herself. Rose was in the house upstairs when she took her own life.

In 2005, Susan’s daughter, Rose, took her own life. She shot herself. Rose had had anorexia and then depression, and was later thought to have bipolar disorder. Susan feels angry because she believes that NHS psychiatric services were inadequate.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Kate - Interview 7 >> Kate and her daughter Jenny found Izzy’s body. She had hanged herself. Kate thought that Izzy had been dead for a few days.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Margaret - Interview 40 >> Any death is likely to be a shock but Margaret believes that bereavement due to suicide adds “another layer of shock”. Her daughter died in prison, “

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Helen - Interview 6 >> Helen had half expected her daughter to take an overdose for a long time before it happened but her initial reaction to her death was still one of sho

Helen’s daughter, Charlotte, had mental health problems. When Charlotte was 30 she was found dead in her flat. She may have taken an overdose or may have taken her own life. Helen has been well supported. She also finds comfort by helping homeless people.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a brother or sister >> Nina - Interview 11 >> Nina felt breathless and collapsed when she heard that her brother was in intensive care. After he died she felt she was on “autopilot” and was exhaus

In 1999, Nina was shocked to hear that her brother, Joe, was in intensive care. He was aged 16. He had been found unconscious, hanging from a tree. He died three days later. Nina has found most support from friends, family, counsellors and SOBS.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Colin - Interview 24 >> After his son died, Colin experienced what he called “painful grief”. He found it difficult to speak and had a series of alarming nightmares.

Colin & Barbara’s son, Matt, found his first job as a junior doctor very stressful. In 1992 Matt was found dead in a crashed car; probably due to suicide. He was aged 24. Colin & Barbara were devastated. Colin found help from friends and family.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Arthur - Interview 27 >> When Leon died Arthur felt as though he had a terrible weight in the centre of his chest. Time stood still and nothing seemed to be important.

Arthur’s son, Leon, had mental health problems. In 1991, Leon took his own life, in a fume filled car. This was a devastating shock to Arthur. Arthur helped to start the organisation, Papyrus, to try to prevent other young suicides.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a friend >> Michael - Interview 16 >> Michael felt desperately upset that something so awful had happened. He did not blame himself but he wondered why his friend hadn’t asked him for help

Michael was aged 29 when his friend took his own life. It was in 1994 when his friend died in a fume filled garage. At the time Michael took time off work and found most support by talking to his friends and by supporting others who were grieving.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Arthur - Interview 27 >> The policeman was very patient and took his time getting the information he needed from Arthur at a time when Arthur was still feeling shocked by his

Publication date: 28^th October 2008 Last updated: October 2010

Review date: October 2012

We interviewed 40 people bereaved by suicide. Some had been bereaved recently, others years ago. To find out about their experiences and the issues that affected them and where people found help, click on the links below.

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