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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Patricia - Interview 4 >> Patricia does not think her husband meant to kill himself. She describes the second “incident” and says that each time Andrew harmed himself “the act

Patricia’s husband, Andrew, had had depression for years. A number of times he had taken an overdose or tried to gas himself and then sought help. In 1994 he died in a car, due to carbon monoxide poisoning. Patricia found support via Cruse & SOBS.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Colin - Interview 24 >> Colin and Barbara’s son, Matt, was not happy as a junior doctor. He found it hard to cope without enough support. Colin believes that this contributed

Colin & Barbara’s son, Matt, found his first job as a junior doctor very stressful. In 1992 Matt was found dead in a crashed car; probably due to suicide. He was aged 24. Colin & Barbara were devastated. Colin found help from friends and family.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a parent >> Mike - Interview 9 >> Mike’s thinks his father was unhappy at the time of his suicide: He had had an unhappy second marriage and had been made redundant at work.

In 1972, when Mike was aged 18, his father took his own life. He died in his car by inhaling fumes from the exhaust. His death has had a huge impact on Mike’s life. Mike has done much to help others bereaved due to suicide, which has also helped him.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Jacqui - Interview 30 >> Jacqui’s husband worried about everything: he had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

Jacqui’s husband, Mike, had had mental health problems for some time. In 2006 Jacqui came home to find that Mike had died by suicide. He had hung himself. Jacqui has had counselling and has started her own email support group, Widowed by Suicide Support.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Paula - Interview 28 >> Paula thinks her husband was depressed and that that he experienced paranoid delusions at the time of his suicide.

Paula’s husband had been depressed for a number of years. In 2005 he took his own life by hanging. This was a huge shock to Paula. She had weekly counselling for 6 months. Since then she has also found the WAY foundation very helpful and supportive.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a parent >> Ted - Interview 19 >> Ted’s father had had episodes of depression ever since he suffered post-traumatic stress from wartime experiences.

Ted was 12 years old when his father took his own life by hanging. Ted’s family found it hard to talk about it and Ted lacked information. He felt intense grief during that first year. Ted has found help by researching his father’s life and through SOBS.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Susan - Interview 20 >> Explains why her daughter Rose became suicidal. Rose was first diagnosed with depression and later with bipolar disorder. Rose lost all hope that she

In 2005, Susan’s daughter, Rose, took her own life. She shot herself. Rose had had anorexia and then depression, and was later thought to have bipolar disorder. Susan feels angry because she believes that NHS psychiatric services were inadequate.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Stephen - Interview 31 >> Stephen’s wife had been diagnosed with depression. He thought she probably had bipolar disorder.

In June 2006 Stephen returned home to find his wife, Gill, hanging in the hallway. She had been diagnosed with severe depression. Stephen found help from family, friends & Cruse. His daughters have been helped by the Charity, See Saw.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Stuart - Interview 22 >> When Anne was told she had chronic somatisation she realised that she might not get relief from her symptoms. This might have made her decide to end h

Stuart had been separated from his partner, Anne, for 13 months, but saw her and their son regularly. He was deeply saddened when she took her own life by carbon monoxide poisoning in 2005. He feels isolated but has found help for his grief in many ways.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Helen - Interview 6 >> Helen’s daughter Charlotte often felt depressed. She took cannabis and heroin and died of a heroin overdose.

Helen’s daughter, Charlotte, had mental health problems. When Charlotte was 30 she was found dead in her flat. She may have taken an overdose or may have taken her own life. Helen has been well supported. She also finds comfort by helping homeless people.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Brenda - Interview 12 >> Brenda’s son was very depressed at times and said he felt suicidal. She was told he had bipolar disorder. He took an overdose but Brenda believes he j

In 2005 Brenda’s 21-year-old son sadly died in ICU. He had been depressed for some time and had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Now Brenda focuses as much as she can on remembering the good memories they all shared as a family.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Stephen - Interview 31 >> Stephen believes that many GPs lack knowledge about how to deal with depression and how to deal with a person who might be suicidal.

In June 2006 Stephen returned home to find his wife, Gill, hanging in the hallway. She had been diagnosed with severe depression. Stephen found help from family, friends & Cruse. His daughters have been helped by the Charity, See Saw.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Lucy - Interview 38 >> Darrell asked the GP to refer him for talking therapy and told the GP that he would not take tablets, but she insisted on writing a prescription inste

Lucy’s partner, Darrell, committed suicide in 2005. He drove his car in front of a train. He had been depressed but his suicide was a complete shock to Lucy. She has found support through family and friends and via an online group, Widowed by Suicide.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Susan - Interview 8 >> Susan felt depressed and suicidal after another son died by suicide. She felt she was going mad and went to her GP for help.

Two of Susan’s sons have taken their own lives by hanging. Barry died in 1995 and Stephen died in April 2006. Susan has had support from various sources. She is still grieving but feels she must “move on” for the sake of her other children.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a friend >> Ann - Interview 10 >> Ann became very depressed after her friend died. She took antidepressants for 18 months which helped her feel much better after 4-5 weeks.

Ann’s friend died in 2003. It appears that her friend died from an overdose and exposure. Ann has found support through her faith in God, from counselling & from her GP. She has set up a support group for others, linked to SOBS. She finds this comforting.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a friend >> Michael - Interview 16 >> Michael was depressed and cried a great deal after his friend died. Eventually he started to feel better and he went back to work after about 10 weeks

Michael was aged 29 when his friend took his own life. It was in 1994 when his friend died in a fume filled garage. At the time Michael took time off work and found most support by talking to his friends and by supporting others who were grieving.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a brother or sister >> Kavita - Interview 33 >> Kavita explains what happened when she had psychotherapy. She could talk about her feelings and about her relationship with her brother.

Kavita’s brother was 30 years old when he jumped to his death. He had been feeling suicidal for some time. Kavita felt “shattered” and desperately wanted help. She had counselling with a psychotherapist and found that SOBS was a “lifesaver”.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Marion - Interview 32 >> When Marion was “at rock bottom” her GP arranged for her to see a counsellor. Counselling, once a fortnight for three years, helped her to “put her li

Marion’s husband took his own life in 1996. He had taken alcohol and analgesics and died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Marion and their four children were shocked and devastated. They found support from SOBS, professional counselling and Noah’s Ark.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Lucreta - Interview 39 >> The weeks before Christmas are difficult weeks for Lucreta. She grieves for her daughter when others are shopping and exchanging cards. All family occ

In 1996, Lucreta’s daughter, Dionne (also called Dominique), jumped to her death. She was 18 when she died. Lucreta had no idea that Dionne had been so unhappy, and was shocked by her death. Lucreta has found support from friends, her church, her GP, and counsellors.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a brother or sister >> Jasvinder - Interview 18 >> Jasvinder understands feelings of depression and guilt about losing a member of a South Asian family to suicide, and says it’s important not to blame

Jasvinder’s sister, Robina, died in 1987 from burns. She had an unhappy marriage and told her husband she was going to take her own life. Jasvinder has kept her sister’s memory alive by setting up Karma Nirvana, a project that advocates for Asian people.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a friend >> Ann - Interview 10 >> The media were heavily involved because Ann’s friend was missing. The police tried to protect Ann from intrusive newspaper reporters and TV crews.

Ann’s friend died in 2003. It appears that her friend died from an overdose and exposure. Ann has found support through her faith in God, from counselling & from her GP. She has set up a support group for others, linked to SOBS. She finds this comforting.

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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Bereavement due to suicide

Publication date: 28^th October 2008          Last updated: October 2010

Review date: October 2012

 

We interviewed 40 people bereaved by suicide. Some had been bereaved recently, others years ago. To find out about their experiences and the issues that affected them and where people found help, click on the links below.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Jenny - Interview 1 >> Jenny agreed to be interviewed for an article about David, partly as a tribute to him, partly to raise awareness of mental illness and because she tho

Jenny’s husband had had episodes of depression. In 2007 he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Five days later he took his own life. Jenny has had support from family, friends, the WAY foundation and Cruse. Her baby is also a great comfort to her.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Felicity - Interview 2 >> Felicity wrote a tribute to Alice, for the Guardian. If people ask about Alice she refers them to the article. Her article also explains how bipolar d

Felicity and Alex had a daughter, Alice. She had depression as a teenager, and was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. In 2004, at the age of 22, she took her own life. Felicity has found support from family, friends, her GP and Cruse.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Lucy - Interview 38 >> The police arranged for a press officer to take a statement about Darrell and the way he died so that Lucy and the family would be left alone to griev

Lucy’s partner, Darrell, committed suicide in 2005. He drove his car in front of a train. He had been depressed but his suicide was a complete shock to Lucy. She has found support through family and friends and via an online group, Widowed by Suicide.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Margaret - Interview 40 >> After the inquest Margaret issued a statement via her solicitor. A reporter told her that if she didn’t talk about her daughter’s death the press wou

Margaret’s daughter was in prison when she took her own life. Margaret was shocked by the news. The inquest found that there had been a lack of care while her daughter was in prison. Margaret found support from her dog, friends, SOBS & a counsellor.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Linda - Interview 35 >> After Chloe died the newspaper reports didn’t bother Linda, but after the inquest some reports were untrue and insensitive. At times reporters were i

In 2005 Linda’s 13 year old daughter took her own life. Linda and her family were shocked. Linda still feels devastated, but more in control, and is back at work. She has found help thought a psychologist and has attended a SOBS conference.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Marion - Interview 32 >> Graham’s death was reported on the radio before Marion had been told about it. His death was also all over the newspapers. Reports were unsympathetic

Marion’s husband took his own life in 1996. He had taken alcohol and analgesics and died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Marion and their four children were shocked and devastated. They found support from SOBS, professional counselling and Noah’s Ark.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Kate - Interview 7 >> Kate had mixed experiences–a newspaper carried an irresponsible and inaccurate article, and a freelance journalist hounded her but another reporter wa

Kate’s life has been devastated by the deaths of two of her daughters. They took their own lives by hanging, in 2006 & 2007. Kate has had support from family, friends and the church and says that answering emails from members of POS has also helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Bob - Interview 17 >> A local reporter who attended Darren's inquest wrote a compassionate article.

In 1998 Bob’s son, Darren, died while on holiday in France. He died by hanging and the French police were sure it was suicide. Bob and his wife were shocked. They have found support via Compassionate Friends, SOBS and the internet group Parents of Suicide.

• Topic
• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> The press and other media involvement >> The press and other media involvement

The press and other media involvement

 

The local press often reports suicides – especially if they happen in a public area. If the person who dies, or their family, is well known reports also appear in the national press. A sympathetic newspaper obituary can comfort the family but often the way that suicides are reported in the media upsets those who are bereaved. Media interest can seem like an invasion of privacy. 

 

Inaccurate reporting can be particularly distressing. The public and media reporters are entitled to attend inquests and report on the verdict. Brief or sensationalist articles often oversimplify the causes of suicide and attribute the act to single factors, such as a financial disaster, or a broken relationship. Mental illness is commonest factor leading to suicide, but the media often overlook it.

 

After a suicide, friends and relatives of those who have died may feel ‘hounded’ by journalists. Some of the people we talked to had been advised to make a press statement about what had happened so that journalists would then leave them in peace.