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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Jenny - Interview 1 >> Jenny saw her husband’s body at the hospital. She stayed with him for almost an hour. She found it upsetting yet comforting. She says that people shou

Jenny’s husband had had episodes of depression. In 2007 he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Five days later he took his own life. Jenny has had support from family, friends, the WAY foundation and Cruse. Her baby is also a great comfort to her.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Patricia - Interview 4 >> Identifying Andrew’s body was an awful experience, but Patricia thought it was important to identify her husband because ‘it was like bringing him bac

Patricia’s husband, Andrew, had had depression for years. A number of times he had taken an overdose or tried to gas himself and then sought help. In 1994 he died in a car, due to carbon monoxide poisoning. Patricia found support via Cruse & SOBS.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Amanda - Interview 5 >> Amanda had never seen a dead body before so before she saw her son she felt worried. It was a shock because he didn’t really look like Lori, but she’s

In 2005 Amanda’s son, Lori, took his own life. He was 21. Amanda thinks that sexual abuse may have been a reason for his suicide. She has found support via family, friends, church, internet [POS], Compassionate Friends, Papyrus, and psychotherapy.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Lucreta - Interview 39 >> A welfare officer at work told Lucreta that she had to go to the mortuary to identify a body. Lucreta was shocked to discover that her daughter, Dionn

In 1996, Lucreta’s daughter, Dionne (also called Dominique), jumped to her death. She was 18 when she died. Lucreta had no idea that Dionne had been so unhappy, and was shocked by her death. Lucreta has found support from friends, her church, her GP, and counsellors.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Susan - Interview 20 >> Susan found Rose a few moments after she had shot herself. Rose was in the house upstairs when she took her own life.

In 2005, Susan’s daughter, Rose, took her own life. She shot herself. Rose had had anorexia and then depression, and was later thought to have bipolar disorder. Susan feels angry because she believes that NHS psychiatric services were inadequate.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Kate - Interview 7 >> Kate and her daughter Jenny found Izzy’s body. She had hanged herself. Kate thought that Izzy had been dead for a few days.

Kate’s life has been devastated by the deaths of two of her daughters. They took their own lives by hanging, in 2006 & 2007. Kate has had support from family, friends and the church and says that answering emails from members of POS has also helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Arthur - Interview 27 >> Arthur followed the ambulance to the hospital, where a doctor told him that his son had died. Arthur saw Leon and was grateful when one of the nurses

Arthur’s son, Leon, had mental health problems. In 1991, Leon took his own life, in a fume filled car. This was a devastating shock to Arthur. Arthur helped to start the organisation, Papyrus, to try to prevent other young suicides.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Colin - Interview 24 >> Colin and his wife felt obliged to drive in the night to identify their son’s body in the mortuary. Colin doesn’t think his wife has forgiven the poli

Colin & Barbara’s son, Matt, found his first job as a junior doctor very stressful. In 1992 Matt was found dead in a crashed car; probably due to suicide. He was aged 24. Colin & Barbara were devastated. Colin found help from friends and family.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Dolores - Interview 29 >> Dolores had to go to the hospital to identify her husband’s body. She wasn’t allowed to stay long. She felt ‘judged’ and did not think the hospital st

Dolores’ husband, Steve, developed mental health problems soon after their baby was born. He fell from a bridge in 2005 and died soon afterwards. Dolores felt distraught and very sad. She has found help though a psychologist, and SOBS, and web sites.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Margaret - Interview 40 >> Margaret went quickly to the mortuary. Her spiritual beliefs gave her a strong sense of what she should do.

Margaret’s daughter was in prison when she took her own life. Margaret was shocked by the news. The inquest found that there had been a lack of care while her daughter was in prison. Margaret found support from her dog, friends, SOBS & a counsellor.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a friend >> Michael - Interview 16 >> Michael went to see his friend’s body. He found it disturbing but he said it was a useful thing to do because it brought home the reality of what had

Michael was aged 29 when his friend took his own life. It was in 1994 when his friend died in a fume filled garage. At the time Michael took time off work and found most support by talking to his friends and by supporting others who were grieving.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a brother or sister >> Kavita - Interview 33 >> Kavita’s brother looked as though he was sleeping and about to wake up. Seeing his dead body was helpful because she had found it hard to believe that

Kavita’s brother was 30 years old when he jumped to his death. He had been feeling suicidal for some time. Kavita felt “shattered” and desperately wanted help. She had counselling with a psychotherapist and found that SOBS was a “lifesaver”.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Brenda - Interview 12 >> Brenda was glad that she saw her son after he left the ICU. He looked lovely without the tubes, just as if he were asleep. She and her husband saw him

In 2005 Brenda’s 21-year-old son sadly died in ICU. He had been depressed for some time and had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Now Brenda focuses as much as she can on remembering the good memories they all shared as a family.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Linda - Interview 35 >> At first Linda thought it was horrible that her daughter looked so pale and lifeless. However, Linda went to see Chloe a few times before the funeral

In 2005 Linda’s 13 year old daughter took her own life. Linda and her family were shocked. Linda still feels devastated, but more in control, and is back at work. She has found help thought a psychologist and has attended a SOBS conference.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Marion - Interview 32 >> The children wanted to see their father’s body. Marion took them and thinks it was the right thing to do. She wishes she had made time to go again on

Marion’s husband took his own life in 1996. He had taken alcohol and analgesics and died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Marion and their four children were shocked and devastated. They found support from SOBS, professional counselling and Noah’s Ark.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Stephen - Interview 31 >> Stephen took his young daughters to see Gill after she died. He felt devastated but he says they weren’t upset by seeing their mother. They sprinkled

In June 2006 Stephen returned home to find his wife, Gill, hanging in the hallway. She had been diagnosed with severe depression. Stephen found help from family, friends & Cruse. His daughters have been helped by the Charity, See Saw.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a brother or sister >> Steve - Interview 25 >> Steve thinks he would have found it easier to accept his sister’s death if he’d been allowed to see her body. The coroner reluctantly agreed to let hi

Steve’s sister took her own life in 2006. She stepped in front of a train. She had had mental health problems for many years but was not receiving the care she needed at the time of her death. Steve was devastated. He has found most support from SOBS.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Margaret - Interview 40 >> Margaret wanted her daughter to be dressed in colours she liked and to feel warm and protected for the funeral. She bought her a new coat, and she als

Margaret’s daughter was in prison when she took her own life. Margaret was shocked by the news. The inquest found that there had been a lack of care while her daughter was in prison. Margaret found support from her dog, friends, SOBS & a counsellor.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Kate - Interview 7 >> At home, the day before the funeral, Kate adorned Izzy with her wedding veil. Three months later she dressed her other daughter, Anna, in her wedding

Kate’s life has been devastated by the deaths of two of her daughters. They took their own lives by hanging, in 2006 & 2007. Kate has had support from family, friends and the church and says that answering emails from members of POS has also helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a brother or sister >> Kavita - Interview 33 >> Kavita’s father helped to prepare her brother’s body. His open coffin was in the house. A priest anointed her brother and performed other rituals on t

Kavita’s brother was 30 years old when he jumped to his death. He had been feeling suicidal for some time. Kavita felt “shattered” and desperately wanted help. She had counselling with a psychotherapist and found that SOBS was a “lifesaver”.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Brenda - Interview 12 >> Brenda and her family decorated the church with flowers. It helped that the church looked beautiful and very inspiring.

In 2005 Brenda’s 21-year-old son sadly died in ICU. He had been depressed for some time and had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Now Brenda focuses as much as she can on remembering the good memories they all shared as a family.

• Topic
• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Burying the body or scattering or burying ashes >> Burying the body or scattering or burying ashes

Burying the body or scattering or burying ashes

 

People from different cultural backgrounds and with differing beliefs are likely to have very different ideas about where a person should be buried or where the remains of a dead person should be scattered. In mediaeval Christian Europe people thought that it was important for the destiny of the soul to bury people in consecrated ground, and as close as possible to the altar of a church. Some people still adhere to this belief, but others do not think it matters. Others choose to mark the death according to a different cultural tradition.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Seeing the body or not being able to do so >> Seeing the body or not being able to do so

Seeing the body or not being able to do so