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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Lucreta - Interview 39 >> After the funeral Dominique was cremated and her ashes scattered. Lucreta used to visit the church garden regularly, but doesn’t feel the need to spen

In 1996, Lucreta’s daughter, Dionne (also called Dominique), jumped to her death. She was 18 when she died. Lucreta had no idea that Dionne had been so unhappy, and was shocked by her death. Lucreta has found support from friends, her church, her GP, and counsellors.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Helen - Interview 6 >> After the funeral and cremation Helen left her daughter’s ashes at the undertaker’s. After four or five weeks she arranged to plant a wild cherry with

Helen’s daughter, Charlotte, had mental health problems. When Charlotte was 30 she was found dead in her flat. She may have taken an overdose or may have taken her own life. Helen has been well supported. She also finds comfort by helping homeless people.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a brother or sister >> Steve - Interview 25 >> After the funeral Steve’s sister’s ashes were scattered round a tree in a local beauty spot. He finds it comforting to go there and meditate.

Steve’s sister took her own life in 2006. She stepped in front of a train. She had had mental health problems for many years but was not receiving the care she needed at the time of her death. Steve was devastated. He has found most support from SOBS.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Susan - Interview 20 >> On her daughter’s birthday- the first one after her death- Susan scattered some of Rose’s ashes on an island in Norfolk, Scolt Head, one of Susan’s fa

In 2005, Susan’s daughter, Rose, took her own life. She shot herself. Rose had had anorexia and then depression, and was later thought to have bipolar disorder. Susan feels angry because she believes that NHS psychiatric services were inadequate.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a brother or sister >> Kavita - Interview 33 >> Kavita and her family hired a boat so that they could scatter her brother’s ashes in the Thames; A Hindu priest went with them to say some prayers.

Kavita’s brother was 30 years old when he jumped to his death. He had been feeling suicidal for some time. Kavita felt “shattered” and desperately wanted help. She had counselling with a psychotherapist and found that SOBS was a “lifesaver”.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a child >> Barbara - Interview 23 >> Barbara feels that the decision to scatter Matt’s ashes in the crematorium garden was made too quickly. She wishes they had put them with the tree the

Barbara & Colin’s son, Matt, found his first job as a junior doctor very stressful. In 1992 Matt was found dead in a crashed car; probably due to suicide. He was aged 24. Colin & Barbara were devastated.

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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Burying the body or scattering or burying ashes >> Burying the body or scattering or burying ashes

Burying the body or scattering or burying ashes

 

People from different cultural backgrounds and with differing beliefs are likely to have very different ideas about where a person should be buried or where the remains of a dead person should be scattered. In mediaeval Christian Europe people thought that it was important for the destiny of the soul to bury people in consecrated ground, and as close as possible to the altar of a church. Some people still adhere to this belief, but others do not think it matters. Others choose to mark the death according to a different cultural tradition.