I mean we always have a candlelight for him, I light a candle every evening anyway but we, when we go up to the cemetery every week we light a tea light up there, and on his birthday and anniversary more candles are lit, we release balloons on these special occasions, we attach a message to them, and send them off and we’ve had quite a few back from various places, that helps us, you know just sending a message up to him.

Do people pick up the message and then write back to you?

Yes, we’ve had, the very first time we did it was his, well his first anniversary. He, he died on a August bank holiday Monday, which was on August 31st, so the following year we had August bank holiday Monday, and the 31st as two separate days, so we did something special, we had a we had a family and friends picnic day up at the local scout camp site where he spent a lot of time, and we released balloons there. And the very first message we got back was from, was by e-mail, the power of the internet again, because as I’d included my e-mail address, it was from some youngsters who’d just been to the Notting Hill Carnival, and they’d been celebrating the night before and they was staggering down to get some breakfast and they saw this thing float down from above them and they thought, “Oh message.” And they were saddened with, tinged with sadness when they read our message but they sent a very nice e-mail to me.

That’s a really nice idea.

So they send the cards back so that I’ve got some of the cards home now and it’s nice when they do, when they do reply to it. But the last two anniversaries, one of Darren’s favourite meals or takeaways was Kebab and chips from his local, from our local fish and chip shop, so the last couple of, well we’ve been out for meals at various places or takeaways, but the last three years we’ve taken, we’ve got the Kebab and chips and taken them up to the cemetery and sat by Darren’s grave on a couple of chairs and sit there sharing with him, if he can’t come to us, we’ll go to him and, we, and that was one of the reasons why we want, I wanted him buried ‘cos we have a stone, ‘cos when you have them cremated there’s no stone, there might be a little plaque but there’s no memorial stone.