The main thing I just wanted it to be more the way he would want it. We chose the coffin that would be biodegradable as well. That was really important. The eldest, our eldest son chose it, and I felt that he would have liked that as well. And it was, it was all the time trying to think what Lori would want.
Mmm.
But also for instance arranging the funeral you’ve got to bear in mind it’s for everybody as well,it’s for my husband and I, for the others, for Lori, so getting that right was really, really important and I would of, say to people if I was advising on this don’t, don’t rush, we had the funeral on the following Friday so it’s almost two weeks to get it right because I couldn’t have done it any faster. And it was quite a long funeral, there was lots of music because he was a musician, readings, it was very personal, and in fact people said they’d never been to a funeral quite like it before and that felt good from our point of view.
Had you been to many other funerals before?
Not many, some in, some in crematoriums, this was in our own church and obviously not for somebody young.
No. Did you have any help planning it?
Yes, the vicar, the vicar was, was helpful, my sister had some input, she suggested a song we had at the end, it kind of grew. I did the front, I did the cover for the funeral service, it was two pieces of my own artwork which we used. The greatest thing was the person who was going to talk about him really loved him, it wasn’t somebody, she wasn’t talking about somebody she didn’t know, she absolutely adored him and she told lots of funny stories and I was thinking ‘my goodness how did he live as long as he did with the antics he got up to?’.
Mmm.
And we were laughing, we were laughing at his funeral because he was very unique and very funny, just adorable.
Did, did you have any religious faith at that point?
Yes we, we’ve all, we’ve always been to church the whole family, perhaps in a way my faith isn’t as strong, it’s not, there are no easy answers to it but I did have a back, the background is very help, helpful in this way. Lori seemed to be angry and a bit angry with God and that was a bit difficult to square it all up what Lori would want in terms of the service and there were, that’s where I had to bear in mind it was for everybody, and in the end I did want a bit of a message of hope, the last song was a message of hope, and it’s, it was, it was sung in, the words kind of gave you the fact that he wouldn’t leave us but neither would God leave us so it was a very important message and my sister came up with that.
Mmm.
It was also important my husband spoke about him and gave some funny stories about him, and people enjoyed that. I didn’t speak, I, a part of me really wanted to but I think I might have broken down.
