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Intensive care
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
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Reasons for admission :
Emergency admissions
Planned admissions
In the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) :
Seeing the patient in ICU for the first time
Suspending normal routines: visiting ICU every day
Uncertainty
Emotional impact on relatives & friends in ICU
Impact on children
Telling others
Relationships within and between families
Receiving information and news from doctors
Sources of information in ICU
Nursing care
Keeping a diary
Sources of support in ICU
At the bedside:
Waiting for news
Signs of improvement and progress
The relatives' room and overnight accommodation:
The relatives' room
Overnight accommodation
When someone dies :
End of life decisions
Death and bereavement:
When someone dies
Funerals
Coping with bereavement
On a general ward :
The ward environment and nursing care
Hospital discharge and rehabilitation
Life after leaving the hospital :
Supporting and caring for the ill person at home
Impact on work and finances
Attitudes to life after the hospital experience
Messages to others
Emotional impact on relatives and carers
Emotional impact on family and friends
Adjusting to a changed life
Support and information
Support and information
Lack of support and information
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
Subject index
Topic
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Lack of support and information
>>
Lack of support and information
Lack of support and information
Clip
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
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Aged 51-60
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Interview 36
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He felt visitors shouldn't have to worry about parking when they have a relative in intensive care.
His father went to ICU after having a stroke and developing pneumonia. Members of the family supported one another and he is now closer to his sister.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
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Interview 18
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After saying her goodbyes to her friend, all she could do was wait until after the operation for further news.
Her best friend spent two weeks in ICU. She was the closest person to her, visited her daily and is now her main carer.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
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Interview 17
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She wanted her husband to be able to breath by himself but it was difficult to focus only on this because other things kept going wrong.
Her husband was admitted to ICU because of a brain aneurysm. She spent eight weeks visiting him in two different hospitals, sometimes staying overnight.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
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Aged 70 +
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Interview 25
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He waited at his wife's bedside until the early hours of the morning but no one at that time could tell him whether she would survive.
In 2006 his 79-year-old wife was admitted to intensive care. Their daughter was their main support and they are now moving to live near her.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
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Aged 31-40
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Interview 23
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He tried not to watch the monitors too much and, instead, focussed on being positive and on all the things he and his partner enjoyed doing together.
In 2006 his partner spent four weeks in ICU because of pneumonia. He visited her every day, sharing the visiting with his partner's parents.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
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Interview 18
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Her friend's son didn't understand how seriously ill his mother was until afterwards and stayed with his grandparents during that time.
Her best friend spent two weeks in ICU. She was the closest person to her, visited her daily and is now her main carer.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
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Aged 30 & under
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Interview 21
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Her partner only realised how long he'd been in hospital when he saw that his baby daughter had started teething.
In 2005 her partner had a car accident and spent over four months in ICU. She visited daily while her mother looked after her new baby.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 03
>>
At the beginning there was very little change in her son's condition and sending updates was difficult because people often misinterpreted a slight ch
In 2004 her 17-year-old son was a passenger in a car that was involved in a serious accident. He spent 17 days in ICU.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
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Aged 31-40
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Interview 13
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The nurses explained everything about the treatments, answered all her questions and supported her through an extremely difficult time.
In 2006 her husband had liver disease and pneumonia and sadly died in ICU. She has gained strength from having counselling and from her spirituality.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
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Interview 07
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They felt confused and upset and didn't understand why doctors were asking them to think about end of life decisions when their son could breathe with
Their son was admitted to ICU in 2005 with bacterial meningitis. It was a traumatic time but he is now back home and has made excellent progress.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
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Interview 13
>>
Her husband, who'd had liver disease, improved slightly at first but was then re-admitted to ICU from HDU and died two days later.
In 2006 her husband had liver disease and pneumonia and sadly died in ICU. She has gained strength from having counselling and from her spirituality.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
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Aged 51-60
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Interview 09
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She felt doctors used a lot of medical language and didn't explain clearly that their son would be dying that very night, which came as a huge shock.
Her son had lymphoma and bowel perforation and sadly died on a ward. She felt doctors should explain information clearly to relatives, who are usually unfamiliar with medical terms.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
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Interview 36
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His father is a different person now and looks as healthy as he did 18 months ago when he was very well.
His father went to ICU after having a stroke and developing pneumonia. Members of the family supported one another and he is now closer to his sister.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
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Interview 03
>>
At the time her son was ill she didn't know he was being kept alive by machines.
In 2004 her 17-year-old son was a passenger in a car that was involved in a serious accident. He spent 17 days in ICU.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Sources of support in ICU
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Sources of support in ICU
Sources of support in ICU
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 10
>>
Accept support so you can remain strong and provide personal information about the patient.
In 2006 her partner was diagnosed with Weil's disease, a rare bacterial infection. She stayed at the hospital for five nights and then in a nearby hotel.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
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Interview 23
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Ask questions, trust the staff and be there for the patient.
In 2006 his partner spent four weeks in ICU because of pneumonia. He visited her every day, sharing the visiting with his partner's parents.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
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Interview 36
>>
He wanted to know why his father had got so ill so quickly, and tried to reassure his mother without giving her false hopes.
His father went to ICU after having a stroke and developing pneumonia. Members of the family supported one another and he is now closer to his sister.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
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Interview 13
>>
Counselling helped her accept what had happened and start moving forwards with her life again.
In 2006 her husband had liver disease and pneumonia and sadly died in ICU. She has gained strength from having counselling and from her spirituality.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
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Interview 22
>>
He spent many hours in the hospital chapel and valued the peace, quiet and solitude.
His wife had emergency surgery to remove a kidney. He found it difficult to discuss his feelings but received comfort from sitting alone in the hospital chapel.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
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Aged 31-40
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Interview 35
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Her husband was very supportive when her mother was ill and they grew closer as a result.
Her mother was admitted to ICU because of gallstones and other complications. She visited her every day, often with her two young daughters, and kept a diary.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 35
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Her colleagues were very supportive and going into work helped take her mind off intensive care for a few hours.
Her mother was admitted to ICU because of gallstones and other complications. She visited her every day, often with her two young daughters, and kept a diary.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
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Interview 16
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She and her husband support each other when caring for their son feels difficult.
She cares for her 13-year-old son, who has congenital muscular dystrophy. In 2003 he had a serious chest infection and was admitted to a peadiatric ICU.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 30 & under
>>
Interview 21
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She spent all day in intensive care and would come home briefly to spend some time with her new baby, who was being looked after by her mother.
In 2005 her partner had a car accident and spent over four months in ICU. She visited daily while her mother looked after her new baby.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 03
>>
Her mother looked after her two younger children which meant that she, her husband and in-laws could visit ICU every day so her son would always have
In 2004 her 17-year-old son was a passenger in a car that was involved in a serious accident. He spent 17 days in ICU.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
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Interview 19
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No one in the family went to work, school or university during the first week because they felt they had to be at the bedside, even if there was nothi
Her brother had an accident while cleaning his motorbike. He had severe head injuries and spent almost four weeks in ICU, where she visited him daily.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
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Interview 35
>>
As well as visiting ICU she tried to keep life as normal as possible for her children and, somehow, found the energy to do both.
Her mother was admitted to ICU because of gallstones and other complications. She visited her every day, often with her two young daughters, and kept a diary.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
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Interview 37
>>
His wife's time in ICU felt like a roller coaster because she kept improving and deteriorating, but he, his son and daughter spent as much time as the
His wife spent 49 days in ICU because of severe lung problems. After her illness, he became involved in helping improve services for ICU patients.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
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Interview 29
>>
The journey to the hospital was difficult because they didn't know how his partner's mother would be, but he felt close to the family and wanted to su
His partner's mother was admitted to ICU after an accident in the home. He lived with them at the time and tried to provide emotional support.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
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Interview 14
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She felt emotionally exhausted and work helped take her mind off her husband's illness for a few hours each day.
She has cared for her husband full-time since he had a heart attack and life threatening infection that meant he had to have his leg amputated.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 02
>>
She felt helpless sitting by the bedside so went back to work part-time when her husband started improving, and his family stayed with him whenever sh
In 2003 her husband had an accident while cycling on his mountain bike in woods close to their home. The accident left him with a serious head injury, fractures to his neck and spine, and a collapsed lung.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 03
>>
She felt that visitors were supportive of each other and, because her son was so young, she received enormous support as well.
In 2004 her 17-year-old son was a passenger in a car that was involved in a serious accident. He spent 17 days in ICU.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 37
>>
He tried to give support and encouragement to a man who was losing hope for his critically ill son.
His wife spent 49 days in ICU because of severe lung problems. After her illness, he became involved in helping improve services for ICU patients.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
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Interview 12
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She gained comfort from talking to other people in the relatives' room and did her best to be as positive as possible.
In 2005 her 21-year-old son sadly died in ICU. She focuses as much as she can on remembering the good memories they shared.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
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Interview 04
>>
She found it extremely traumatic when someone died and difficult to be supportive to others when her own son was also fighting for his life.
In October 2004, her son had a motorbike accident and was admitted to ICU. He had a serious head injury and broken jaw.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 70 +
>>
Interview 26
>>
Although she didn't know many of her sister-in-law's friends, she emailed them with updates and received lots of support through their replies.
In 2006 her sister-in-law sadly died in ICU after having an accident in her car. She visited her daily and took care of all the practical matters.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
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Interview 07
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After a whole day of hospital visiting, she sent out an email to friends and family and received support from them as well as information about mening
Their son was admitted to ICU in 2005 with bacterial meningitis. It was a traumatic time but he is now back home and has made excellent progress.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 13
>>
She sat with her husband until he died and, in time, was given information about what she had to do next.
In 2006 her husband had liver disease and pneumonia and sadly died in ICU. She has gained strength from having counselling and from her spirituality.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 33
>>
When an osteopath massaged her husband the monitors showed improvements, and he continued to make progress from then on.
Her husband was admitted to ICU after having emergency surgery. It was particularly difficult looking after other family members as well as visiting her husband.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
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Interview 22
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If he wasn't at his wife's bedside talking to her, a nurse was talking to her instead, and he was moved to see such good care.
His wife had emergency surgery to remove a kidney. He found it difficult to discuss his feelings but received comfort from sitting alone in the hospital chapel.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 20
>>
Although they have many relatives, few of them visited or gave support.
In 2004 his wife and her mother spent six months in hospital and was admitted to ICU three times because of sepsis and heart problems.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 14
>>
When she talked to her husband about their grandchildren, she noticed tears rolling down his cheeks.
She has cared for her husband full-time since he had a heart attack and life threatening infection that meant he had to have his leg amputated.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 37
>>
His grandchildren recorded messages for their grandmother and, when she heard them, the monitor readings changed even though she was unconscious.
His wife spent 49 days in ICU because of severe lung problems. After her illness, he became involved in helping improve services for ICU patients.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 70 +
>>
Interview 26
>>
She recorded music that her sister-in-law enjoyed and was very impressed when she saw one of her sister-in-law's visitors singing to her while she was
In 2006 her sister-in-law sadly died in ICU after having an accident in her car. She visited her daily and took care of all the practical matters.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 31
>>
Because his wife was too weak to feed herself and the nurses were too busy to feed each patient individually, he was allowed to come in and help with
He cares full-time for his wife, who was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 1998. She has been admitted to ICU several times and recently had a stroke.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 27
>>
She visited her husband on the ward every day so she could feed him and make sure he was eating and gaining weight.
Her husband had cardiac arrest and was admitted to ICU. She is his full-time carer and worries about leaving him on his own because of his memory.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 29
>>
He felt his partner's mother was transferred to a ward too soon and if her husband hadn't been there, she might not have got the help she needed.
His partner's mother was admitted to ICU after an accident in the home. He lived with them at the time and tried to provide emotional support.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 17
>>
She felt more reassured when her husband was transferred to a specialist hospital, because he was still very weak, confused and needed a lot of care.
Her husband was admitted to ICU because of a brain aneurysm. She spent eight weeks visiting him in two different hospitals, sometimes staying overnight.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 23
>>
His partner stayed on a ward for one night before moving to a private hospital, where he felt she would get more care and support.
In 2006 his partner spent four weeks in ICU because of pneumonia. He visited her every day, sharing the visiting with his partner's parents.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 08
>>
He would have liked to be able to contact one specific person on the ward who would be able to help with any problems or concerns.
His wife was admitted to ICU after having complications during emergency surgery. During her time in hospital he had a lot of support from family and his local community.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 23
>>
He valued the support outreach nurses had given him and his partner before she was admitted to ICU and would have liked more support from them later o
In 2006 his partner spent four weeks in ICU because of pneumonia. He visited her every day, sharing the visiting with his partner's parents.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 19
>>
Her brother made huge progress at the rehabilitation unit and is now independent enough to live alone at home and visit the unit every day.
Her brother had an accident while cleaning his motorbike. He had severe head injuries and spent almost four weeks in ICU, where she visited him daily.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 30 & under
>>
Interview 21
>>
She was glad to have her partner back home but he had just begun to realise how weak and debilitated he'd become.
In 2005 her partner had a car accident and spent over four months in ICU. She visited daily while her mother looked after her new baby.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 01
>>
Her sister is now much better, more independent and has spent a lot of time visiting friends before she eases herself back into work.
In March 2005 her sister was diagnosed with Guillain Barre Syndrome. This is a rare disorder of the peripheral nerves, those outside the brain and spinal chord.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 15
>>
At his follow-up appointment, her husband was shown around the ICU and his questions were answered, which was reassuring because he couldn't remember
Her husband was admitted to ICU because of an emergency heart problem, which was never diagnosed. She praised the care and professionalism of the ICU staff.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 23
>>
His partner regained physical strength quite quickly and is back to work but still asks questions about her time in ICU.
In 2006 his partner spent four weeks in ICU because of pneumonia. He visited her every day, sharing the visiting with his partner's parents.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 38
>>
At first she was worried about hurting her partner because of his surgery but, in time, they felt comfortable again about having sex.
In 2005 her husband had a car accident and was admitted to ICU for two weeks. She feels it is important for couples to discuss their feelings with one another and, when they feel ready, to get back to normal, including having sex again.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 37
>>
The nurses washed his wife's hair and did whatever they could to make her comfortable, as well as giving him lots of support too.
His wife spent 49 days in ICU because of severe lung problems. After her illness, he became involved in helping improve services for ICU patients.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 01
>>
She and other members of her family helped clean her sister's mouth and with other aspects of care whenever they visited her.
In March 2005 her sister was diagnosed with Guillain Barre Syndrome. This is a rare disorder of the peripheral nerves, those outside the brain and spinal chord.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 20
>>
They felt the nurses were excellent and that they got to know them quite well having spent several weeks in intensive care.
In 2004 his wife and her mother spent six months in hospital and was admitted to ICU three times because of sepsis and heart problems.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 70 +
>>
Interview 26
>>
Occasionally she found it difficult to get information from nurses because, although she was her sister-in-law's next of kin, some nurses hadn't been
In 2006 her sister-in-law sadly died in ICU after having an accident in her car. She visited her daily and took care of all the practical matters.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 33
>>
Keeping a diary had been helpful for both her and her husband and she gave it to him when he was strong enough physically and emotionally to take it a
Her husband was admitted to ICU after having emergency surgery. It was particularly difficult looking after other family members as well as visiting her husband.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 27
>>
She'd had cancer before and worried about who would look after her husband if she ever became ill again.
Her husband had cardiac arrest and was admitted to ICU. She is his full-time carer and worries about leaving him on his own because of his memory.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 14
>>
Her family phoned her every night and was supportive, though she also valued some quiet time alone after a long day at the hospital.
She has cared for her husband full-time since he had a heart attack and life threatening infection that meant he had to have his leg amputated.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 01
>>
Her sister's friend sometimes drove people to the hospital, looked after her sister's home and garden, and visited her every day in ICU.
In March 2005 her sister was diagnosed with Guillain Barre Syndrome. This is a rare disorder of the peripheral nerves, those outside the brain and spinal chord.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 32
>>
Her neighbours gave her lifts to the hospital and took it in turns to cook for her so she'd have a meal waiting for her when she got home late after v
His husband was admitted to ICU before and after a kidney pancreas transplant. She spent three weeks travelling to the hospital as well as working.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 07
>>
They would have liked to speak to people further along the road to recovery than their son was for emotional support.
Their son was admitted to ICU in 2005 with bacterial meningitis. It was a traumatic time but he is now back home and has made excellent progress.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 29
>>
At this desperate, uncertain time he prayed his partner's mother would recover and found it helpful going to the hospital chapel and lighting a candle
His partner's mother was admitted to ICU after an accident in the home. He lived with them at the time and tried to provide emotional support.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 15
>>
She did everything she could in the hope her husband would recover, including praying and making deals with God of what she'd do if her prayers were a
Her husband was admitted to ICU because of an emergency heart problem, which was never diagnosed. She praised the care and professionalism of the ICU staff.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 33
>>
She still couldn't decide whether she believed in God but appreciated the support she and her husband received from the vicar and chapel staff.
Her husband was admitted to ICU after having emergency surgery. It was particularly difficult looking after other family members as well as visiting her husband.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 35
>>
She slept better at night when she had a pager, knowing that any calls to her landline wouldn't be urgent.
Her mother was admitted to ICU because of gallstones and other complications. She visited her every day, often with her two young daughters, and kept a diary.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 28
>>
At the beginning she felt her life revolved around the hospital and found it comforting talking to her family in the evenings.
Her daughter was admitted to a ward and her son-in-law to ICU after they had a car accident. She stayed in their home so she could visit.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 01
>>
Two of her sisters hadn't been getting on very well but, when one of them became critically ill, they grew closer again, as did the whole family.
In March 2005 her sister was diagnosed with Guillain Barre Syndrome. This is a rare disorder of the peripheral nerves, those outside the brain and spinal chord.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 30 & under
>>
Interview 21
>>
She felt that her partner's family didn't understand her feelings but received a lot of support from nurses, who also ensured she had time alone with
In 2005 her partner had a car accident and spent over four months in ICU. She visited daily while her mother looked after her new baby.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 23
>>
He wanted to have some time alone with his partner and often felt isolated because she was the one he usually turned to for support.
In 2006 his partner spent four weeks in ICU because of pneumonia. He visited her every day, sharing the visiting with his partner's parents.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 15
>>
She never learnt why her husband got so ill so quickly, but felt ICU doctors always gave information and updates about his illness honestly and openly
Her husband was admitted to ICU because of an emergency heart problem, which was never diagnosed. She praised the care and professionalism of the ICU staff.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 16
>>
She felt her son still needed one to one nursing care because he couldn't move his fingers or head when he was well but, after being in ICU, was even
She cares for her 13-year-old son, who has congenital muscular dystrophy. In 2003 he had a serious chest infection and was admitted to a peadiatric ICU.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 33
>>
As her husband began to improve she read out cards and messages of support and, when he had a valve put into his tracheotomy tube, he was able to begi
Her husband was admitted to ICU after having emergency surgery. It was particularly difficult looking after other family members as well as visiting her husband.
Intensive care
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Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 36
>>
Although he supported everyone else and didn't show his feelings, he also had sleepless nights worrying about his dad's illness.
His father went to ICU after having a stroke and developing pneumonia. Members of the family supported one another and he is now closer to his sister.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 20
>>
She needed some balance between hospital life and normal life, and made an effort to spend time relaxing with her father when not sitting at her mothe
In 2004 his wife and her mother spent six months in hospital and was admitted to ICU three times because of sepsis and heart problems.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 03
>>
Her husband's mother sat at her son's bedside so she could go back home, organise child care and make other practical arrangements before returning to
In 2004 her 17-year-old son was a passenger in a car that was involved in a serious accident. He spent 17 days in ICU.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 08
>>
He and his son talked with ICU nurses and decided to let his son's nine-year-old and seven-year-old children visit their grandmother.
His wife was admitted to ICU after having complications during emergency surgery. During her time in hospital he had a lot of support from family and his local community.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 30 & under
>>
Interview 21
>>
Nurses explained to her in more detail what doctors had told her, and always phoned her whenever her partner deteriorated so she could come in and be
In 2005 her partner had a car accident and spent over four months in ICU. She visited daily while her mother looked after her new baby.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 23
>>
Outreach nurses came to see him and his partner regularly before she was admitted to ICU and prepared them both for what to expect.
In 2006 his partner spent four weeks in ICU because of pneumonia. He visited her every day, sharing the visiting with his partner's parents.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 23
>>
He felt the nursing care his partner received was fantastic, that the nurses worked well as a team and that he couldn't thank them enough for all they
In 2006 his partner spent four weeks in ICU because of pneumonia. He visited her every day, sharing the visiting with his partner's parents.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 13
>>
The nurses explained everything about the treatments, answered all her questions and supported her through an extremely difficult time.
In 2006 her husband had liver disease and pneumonia and sadly died in ICU. She has gained strength from having counselling and from her spirituality.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 05
>>
Talking to other people helped him come to terms with feelings he'd been bottling up for over a year.
In 2003 his wife was involved in an accident in the home. He stayed at the hospital for two weeks while his wife was in the first ICU.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 33
>>
She saw a counsellor a month after her husband came back from hospital when feelings from the time he was ill came up again and upset her.
Her husband was admitted to ICU after having emergency surgery. It was particularly difficult looking after other family members as well as visiting her husband.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 13
>>
Although at first she felt angry with God, Spiritualism and Buddhism helped her accept and deal with her husband's death.
In 2006 her husband had liver disease and pneumonia and sadly died in ICU. She has gained strength from having counselling and from her spirituality.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 16
>>
She doesn't go to church as often now and believes being a good Christian is more about how you live and treat others.
She cares for her 13-year-old son, who has congenital muscular dystrophy. In 2003 he had a serious chest infection and was admitted to a peadiatric ICU.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 05
>>
He felt there was a lack of medical support after ICU and that his wife's recovery depended very much on the care given to her by him, his daughter an
In 2003 his wife was involved in an accident in the home. He stayed at the hospital for two weeks while his wife was in the first ICU.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 29
>>
His partner's mother should have stayed in hospital longer so she could get the support she needed from people who were medically trained.
His partner's mother was admitted to ICU after an accident in the home. He lived with them at the time and tried to provide emotional support.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 37
>>
He felt strongly about there being more support for ICU patients, including ICU follow-up clinics, physiotherapy and psychological support.
His wife spent 49 days in ICU because of severe lung problems. After her illness, he became involved in helping improve services for ICU patients.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 31
>>
His wife is very dependent now and he feels that no one could understand her needs and problems without spending a lot of time with her first.
He cares full-time for his wife, who was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 1998. She has been admitted to ICU several times and recently had a stroke.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 11
>>
She felt the medication her husband had been given caused him severe problems and, if she hadn't been there to look after him and seek help, he might
Her husband was diagnosed with pneumonia. She was happy with the nursing care he received in ICU but concerned about information and one of his treatments.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 35
>>
She feels there is no help for the relatives of ICU patients, even though they have been through an extremely traumatic time.
Her mother was admitted to ICU because of gallstones and other complications. She visited her every day, often with her two young daughters, and kept a diary.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 29
>>
His partner's mother's illness had brought them all closer together and it had shown him that he, too, could be supportive and caring.
His partner's mother was admitted to ICU after an accident in the home. He lived with them at the time and tried to provide emotional support.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 36
>>
He grew closer to his sister because they spent so much time together when they were visiting their father in ICU.
His father went to ICU after having a stroke and developing pneumonia. Members of the family supported one another and he is now closer to his sister.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 15
>>
Accept support, ask questions if you need information and be aware that when the patient comes home there will be good and bad days.
Her husband was admitted to ICU because of an emergency heart problem, which was never diagnosed. She praised the care and professionalism of the ICU staff.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 35
>>
Leave updates for other people on the answer phone so you can rest, and try and maintain balance and routine so it is easier to get back to normality
Her mother was admitted to ICU because of gallstones and other complications. She visited her every day, often with her two young daughters, and kept a diary.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 37
>>
Get as much support as possible once the ill person is back home, from GPs, hospital doctors and physiotherapists.
His wife spent 49 days in ICU because of severe lung problems. After her illness, he became involved in helping improve services for ICU patients.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 14
>>
Support and encourage the ill person, including when they feel low or frustrated and it feels difficult for you.
She has cared for her husband full-time since he had a heart attack and life threatening infection that meant he had to have his leg amputated.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 36
>>
His father is a different person now and looks as healthy as he did 18 months ago when he was very well.
His father went to ICU after having a stroke and developing pneumonia. Members of the family supported one another and he is now closer to his sister.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 02
>>
Shortly after taking her husband home, he received physiotherapy and occupational therapy, and she had two weeks off work to look after him.
In 2003 her husband had an accident while cycling on his mountain bike in woods close to their home. The accident left him with a serious head injury, fractures to his neck and spine, and a collapsed lung.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 02
>>
When her husband first came back home he had a lot of mood swings and she worried that these might be permanent.
In 2003 her husband had an accident while cycling on his mountain bike in woods close to their home. The accident left him with a serious head injury, fractures to his neck and spine, and a collapsed lung.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 04
>>
Her son is now driving again and she is looking forward to the time he will be completely independent, which will be huge progress considering how sev
In October 2004, her son had a motorbike accident and was admitted to ICU. He had a serious head injury and broken jaw.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 05
>>
He and his daughter looked after his wife when she was discharged from hospital, and she'd needed help with walking, washing and personal care.
In 2003 his wife was involved in an accident in the home. He stayed at the hospital for two weeks while his wife was in the first ICU.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 35
>>
Her mother has made a good recovery but still has good and bad days.
Her mother was admitted to ICU because of gallstones and other complications. She visited her every day, often with her two young daughters, and kept a diary.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 18
>>
Her friend needed a lot of help at first and, five years on, is still weaker than before and gets depressed about the way her life has changed.
Her best friend spent two weeks in ICU. She was the closest person to her, visited her daily and is now her main carer.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 29
>>
He felt that his partner's mother should have stayed longer in hospital to gain more strength and received more support when she came back home.
His partner's mother was admitted to ICU after an accident in the home. He lived with them at the time and tried to provide emotional support.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 27
>>
Her husband improved physically over time but, because his memory is still very poor, she doesn't like to leave him on his own for very long.
Her husband had cardiac arrest and was admitted to ICU. She is his full-time carer and worries about leaving him on his own because of his memory.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 31
>>
Because of problems with personal care, mobility and eyesight, he cares for his wife full time.
He cares full-time for his wife, who was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 1998. She has been admitted to ICU several times and recently had a stroke.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 16
>>
A carer helps her son during the week and she cares for him the rest of the time, including giving him some physiotherapy and extra oxygen.
She cares for her 13-year-old son, who has congenital muscular dystrophy. In 2003 he had a serious chest infection and was admitted to a peadiatric ICU.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 29
>>
Family members sometimes became very emotional when his partner's mother was having a bad time and he benefited from talking about this with friends.
His partner's mother was admitted to ICU after an accident in the home. He lived with them at the time and tried to provide emotional support.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 41-50
>>
Interview 03
>>
When her son first came home he was often difficult to live with because he'd get angry and aggressive, but talking to his occupational therapist help
In 2004 her 17-year-old son was a passenger in a car that was involved in a serious accident. He spent 17 days in ICU.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 35
>>
When her mother was recovering, she sometimes felt angry and forgotten because there was so little support for relatives.
Her mother was admitted to ICU because of gallstones and other complications. She visited her every day, often with her two young daughters, and kept a diary.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 29
>>
His partner's brother hardly ever visits now, even though he and the rest of the family are much closer.
His partner's mother was admitted to ICU after an accident in the home. He lived with them at the time and tried to provide emotional support.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 07
>>
She had post-traumatic stress disorder and counselling helped her focus on the present, whilst acknowledging what had happened in the past.
Their son was admitted to ICU in 2005 with bacterial meningitis. It was a traumatic time but he is now back home and has made excellent progress.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 27
>>
Although her husband has made lots of progress, he still can't be left on his own for very long and, sometimes, other relatives help out.
Her husband had cardiac arrest and was admitted to ICU. She is his full-time carer and worries about leaving him on his own because of his memory.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 31
>>
Because his wife is very weak, visually impaired and still has serious bowel problems, he looks after her and has become quite housebound.
He cares full-time for his wife, who was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 1998. She has been admitted to ICU several times and recently had a stroke.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 14
>>
She gave up work to look after her husband full time and encourages him when he feels depressed about the things he can no longer do.
She has cared for her husband full-time since he had a heart attack and life threatening infection that meant he had to have his leg amputated.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 18
>>
Her best friend has needed a lot of support and their relationship has changed because she now has to help her with her shopping, hospital appointment
Her best friend spent two weeks in ICU. She was the closest person to her, visited her daily and is now her main carer.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 20
>>
At first he was worried that he'd become his wife's carer rather than her husband but that didn't become an issue.
In 2004 his wife and her mother spent six months in hospital and was admitted to ICU three times because of sepsis and heart problems.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 61-70
>>
Interview 27
>>
Her husband is now very forgetful and she has to explain things to him and sometimes feels sad because their relationship has changed.
Her husband had cardiac arrest and was admitted to ICU. She is his full-time carer and worries about leaving him on his own because of his memory.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 70 +
>>
Interview 25
>>
His daughter helped out when his wife was ill. They are now moving to be closer to her, to a retirement home where they'll have lots of support.
In 2006 his 79-year-old wife was admitted to intensive care. Their daughter was their main support and they are now moving to live near her.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 20
>>
He found the practical advice from another couple useful and was later able to pass on advice to others who'd found themselves in a similar situation.
In 2004 his wife and her mother spent six months in hospital and was admitted to ICU three times because of sepsis and heart problems.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Support and information
>>
Support and information
Support and information
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 04
>>
She wanted to see how her son would progress without outside influences but also wondered if it was too soon for them to think about joining support g
In October 2004, her son had a motorbike accident and was admitted to ICU. He had a serious head injury and broken jaw.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 31-40
>>
Interview 02
>>
It would have been helpful at the time to talk to someone from a support group but she found only out about these after her husband's recovery.
In 2003 her husband had an accident while cycling on his mountain bike in woods close to their home. The accident left him with a serious head injury, fractures to his neck and spine, and a collapsed lung.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Aged 51-60
>>
Interview 05
>>
Talking to other people helped him come to terms with feelings he'd been bottling up for over a year.
In 2003 his wife was involved in an accident in the home. He stayed at the hospital for two weeks while his wife was in the first ICU.
Intensive care
>>
Intensive care: experiences of family & friends
>>
Supporting and caring for the ill person at home
>>
Supporting and caring for the ill person at home
Supporting and caring for the ill person at home
Mail to a friend