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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Martin - Interview 10 >> The school supported Martin’s daughter after her mother died. A counsellor from the Behavioural Educational Support Team also came, but Martin thought

Martin’s wife had a part time job as a lollypop lady. When she was standing on the pavement, she was hit by a bus, and died instantly. Martin was shocked. He is bringing up two children, which is a heavy responsibility. Counselling has helped him.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Stephen - Interview 12 >> Stephen remembers being semi-conscious in hospital after he was knocked down. His family was round his bed and told him that his brother had been kill

In 2006 Stephen was crossing the road with his brother and brother-in-law. They were hit by a drunk driver. Stephen was severely injured and his brother was killed. The driver pleaded guilty to causing death by dangerous driving. It was a terrible shock.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Michael - Interview 35 >> After an explosion at the garage Michael and his wife went to the hospital to see Lewis, who was badly burnt and needed surgery. After three days the

In 2004 Michael’s son, Lewis, was badly burnt. At the time he was working at a garage. Lewis died three days later. Michael and the other members of the family were devastated. Michael found most support from family, friends and through counselling.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Adam - Interview 27 >> The liaison officers came regularly and kept them up to date with the murder investigation. Two officers visited the family and another kept in touch

In 2005 Adam’s brother, Lloyd, was murdered in the street. He was attacked by two men, who said that they were drunk at the time. Adam, his parents and friends were devastated. Since then Adam has worked hard to try to prevent other violent crime.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> David - Interview 31 >> The liaison officers handled the case very sensitively and kept in touch after the trial. They told David and his wife what was happening to the young

In 1992, David’s son, Simon, was stabbed to death near to his home. He was 17 years old. Simon’s death had a huge effect on the family. David and his wife supported each other. They are now members of Support after Murder and Manslaughter (SAMM).

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a friend or distant relative >> Shazia - Interview 01 >> Shazia gives talks about her friend's death, in order to prevent other violent crime committed in the name of ‘honour’. She said that helping other pe

In 1993 Shazia’s friend was shot by her friend’s father because of “izzat” and honour. Shazia, then aged 13, was devastated. She has found help through counselling and by supporting others in similar situations.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Marcus - Interview 38 >> Marcus has been involved in several charities that help people bereaved through murder and manslaughter. He helps others and they help him, a double h

Marcus’s fiancée, Louise, was murdered in 1987. Marcus was shocked and his life was shattered. He found help through friends, family, the police, psychiatrists and art therapy. Today he finds help by helping others who have been bereaved in this way.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Ian - Interview 32 >> Ian believes that counsellors need to listen, accept and try to understand what it might be like to have been bereaved through trauma.

In 1999 Ian’s brother, Dorrie, was shot. He died soon afterwards. Ian was deeply shocked but he supported the rest of the family and kept his faith in God. Dorrie’s death made Ian reassess his life, and live not only for himself but also for Dorrie.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Martin - Interview 10 >> The school supported Martin’s daughter after her mother died. A counsellor from the Behavioural Educational Support Team also came, but Martin thought

Martin’s wife had a part time job as a lollypop lady. When she was standing on the pavement, she was hit by a bus, and died instantly. Martin was shocked. He is bringing up two children, which is a heavy responsibility. Counselling has helped him.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Patsy - Interview 21 >> Patsy found help by talking to God. She suggests that people find comfort for themselves by helping others.

In 1999 Patsy’s son, Dorrie, was shot. He died soon afterwards. Patsy was devastated, but through her belief in Jesus, her relationship with God, her work with Mothers Against Violence and other community work she has come to terms with Dorrie’s death.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Tamsin - Interview 06 >> After Matthew died Tamsin spent the first week with her mother. Later friends allowed her to talk at length about her brother, which helped her.

One day in 2007 Tamsin said goodbye to her brother. That evening Matthew died when his motorbike collided with a car. Tamsin was devastated. Her partner and her family support her but she misses Matthew dreadfully and the pain doesn’t get any easier.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Adam - Interview 27 >> It helped Adam to talk to friends who had known Lloyd and who could exchange memories about him. However, not all realised how upset he felt, which di

In 2005 Adam’s brother, Lloyd, was murdered in the street. He was attacked by two men, who said that they were drunk at the time. Adam, his parents and friends were devastated. Since then Adam has worked hard to try to prevent other violent crime.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Matthew - Interview 26 >> After Timothy died Matthew knew that if he needed any support his family would help him. He did not want to join a support group or have professional

Matthew’s brother, Timothy, was killed in the Bali bombing in 2002. He died instantly. His death was a terrible shock to the family. His body was brought back to the UK. Matthew is proud of the beautiful memorial that stands in London for those who died.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Nina - Interview 37 >> Nina got most help and support from family and friends. She went to see a psychotherapist but decided she was wasting the therapist’s time.

In 2002 Nina’s husband, Autsen, was killed in the Potters Bar rail crash. She was seriously hurt. Nina campaigned for compensation for the families of those who died. Nina misses her husband. She wrote the book “Dear Austen” to tell him what happened.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Godfrey - Interview 39 >> After Adrian died Godfrey’s friends and colleagues were very supportive.

In 1995 Godfrey’s son was fatally injured as he tried to board a train. Godfrey was denied information about exactly what had happened. The jury at the inquest decided it was an accident. It was an awful tragedy but Godfrey still has a positive attitude.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a friend or distant relative >> Shazia - Interview 01 >> Shazia would have liked support from her parents after her friend was shot, but they offered her no comfort. She turned to a school friend for support

In 1993 Shazia’s friend was shot by her friend’s father because of “izzat” and honour. Shazia, then aged 13, was devastated. She has found help through counselling and by supporting others in similar situations.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Ann - Interview 24 >> Family members were all devastated and so found it hard to support each other in the way they would have done otherwise.

In 2005 Ann’s son, Westley, was murdered. He was attacked by a man with a knife. Ann and her family were devastated. Ann started the organisation KnifeCrimes.org which supports other victims of crime and which aims prevent other knife attacks.

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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Informal support from family and friends >> Informal support from family and friends

Informal support from family and friends

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Support for children and young people >> Support for children and young people

Support for children and young people

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Terri - Interview 19 >> Terri found Compassionate Friends on the internet. There were no local groups but she went to yearly weekend gatherings for bereaved parents and found

In 2003 Terri’s son was stabbed to death in his home. His grandmother was attacked too. Three men were involved in the attacks. Terri was away. News of her son’s death was very traumatic. Counselling, Compassionate Friends, family and friends have helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Dorothy - Interview 28 >> Dorothy went to a Scottish gathering of Compassionate Friends and used their internet chat room. She found she could relate to the other members and d

In 2005 Dorothy’s son, Mark, was killed in an industrial incident. He was working in a waste and recycling plant. Dorothy was shocked and angry. Counselling, hypnotherapy and Compassionate Friends have helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Ian - Interview 32 >> Ian joined a Catholic support group for men. For the first time he felt that he could cry and share all his emotions and that he did not have to be st

In 1999 Ian’s brother, Dorrie, was shot. He died soon afterwards. Ian was deeply shocked but he supported the rest of the family and kept his faith in God. Dorrie’s death made Ian reassess his life, and live not only for himself but also for Dorrie.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Dean - Interview 36 >> After Dean’s son, Andrew, was hit by a car and died, a member of RoadPeace called Dean and offered help, support and useful advice.

Dean’s son, Andrew, was killed in 2006. He was hit by a car which was driven by a man who was not insured and who was driving illegally. Dean felt shocked and devastated. He has found help via friends, family, RoadPeace, the Spirualist Church and others.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Michael - Interview 35 >> Michael joined Families Against Corporate Killers. He found comfort from working with others to prevent work-related deaths

In 2004 Michael’s son, Lewis, was badly burnt. At the time he was working at a garage. Lewis died three days later. Michael and the other members of the family were devastated. Michael found most support from family, friends and through counselling.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> William - Interview 18 >> After Lauren died William took his 12 year old son for a week's holiday run by Care for the Family. The Fire Service Benevolent Fund also provided a h

In 2005 William’s 15 year old daughter, Lauren, was crossing a motorway and was hit by a lorry. She died almost immediately. William felt anger and guilt for not being able to protect her. He still misses her very much indeed.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Alison - Interview 23 >> When Alison’s other children died she asked Jeremiah’s Journey for advice about what to tell her two year old son. She told him gradually, which she u

In 2007 Alison’s husband and two of her young children died in their own home. Alison believes that her husband murdered her children and then set fire to the house. He also died. It has been a terrible time.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Terri - Interview 19 >> Two weeks after Ben died Terri’s four year old daughter attended group counselling. Her eight year old daughter had one-to-one counselling at the time

In 2003 Terri’s son was stabbed to death in his home. His grandmother was attacked too. Three men were involved in the attacks. Terri was away. News of her son’s death was very traumatic. Counselling, Compassionate Friends, family and friends have helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Terri - Interview 19 >> Terri found the Winston’s Wish website for her older daughter, which helped her. Through the website her daughter made contact with two other girls wh

In 2003 Terri’s son was stabbed to death in his home. His grandmother was attacked too. Three men were involved in the attacks. Terri was away. News of her son’s death was very traumatic. Counselling, Compassionate Friends, family and friends have helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Sally - Interview 14 >> Sally’s children were 9, 13 and 18 when their grandmother died. They were devastated. Sally supported them and gently explained what happened. Just ov

Sally’s mother died in 2007. Her flat caught fire, probably due to a cigarette which had not been put out. Her mother may have been a bit drowsy due to an overdose of pain killers, which may have led to the accident. Sally and her family were devastated.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a friend or distant relative >> Shazia - Interview 01 >> Shazia was bereaved when she was still at school. She said that it is essential to talk to others about what has happened and to get support.

In 1993 Shazia’s friend was shot by her friend’s father because of “izzat” and honour. Shazia, then aged 13, was devastated. She has found help through counselling and by supporting others in similar situations.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a friend or distant relative >> Lisa - Interview 29 >> Lisa was in despair after her friends were murdered and at times felt suicidal. She recommended that others in her situation should try to express the

In the 1990’s Lisa lost two good friends due to murder. When her ex-boyfriend was stabbed, Lisa was in despair and at times suicidal. She was ill for over six years. She sought help in many ways. Finally, a healer from a spiritualist church restored her.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> William - Interview 18 >> William said that after bereavement it is important not to wallow in self pity and that other members of the family will be going through their own pa

In 2005 William’s 15 year old daughter, Lauren, was crossing a motorway and was hit by a lorry. She died almost immediately. William felt anger and guilt for not being able to protect her. He still misses her very much indeed.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Dorothy - Interview 28 >> Dorothy’s son died in an industrial incident. She said that in a similar situation the family may need a good solicitor and support and that justice m

In 2005 Dorothy’s son, Mark, was killed in an industrial incident. He was working in a waste and recycling plant. Dorothy was shocked and angry. Counselling, hypnotherapy and Compassionate Friends have helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Carole - Interview 08 >> Carole made friends via SAMM. She could talk openly to others who understood, but she felt those bereaved by murder needed more help.

In November 2004 Carole’s 23 year old son was murdered by an ex-girlfriend. He was stabbed. Carole was devastated. She has found most help via family and friends and by running. She has also had counselling, arranged via work, which has helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Cynthia - Interview 02 >> Cynthia’s anger and her determination to fight for justice for her daughter, and on behalf of other people, changed her completely. She felt she had b

In 2000 Cynthia’s 26 year old daughter was killed when she was knocked off her bicycle and run over by a lorry. The inquest verdict was “accidental death” and the driver was acquitted. Cynthia was devastated and now campaigns to prevent other road deaths.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Ann - Interview 24 >> Ann founded Knifecrimes.org. She goes into schools and talks to children about the consequences of carrying knives. She also supports families bereave

In 2005 Ann’s son, Westley, was murdered. He was attacked by a man with a knife. Ann and her family were devastated. Ann started the organisation KnifeCrimes.org which supports other victims of crime and which aims prevent other knife attacks.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Patsy - Interview 21 >> Through her work with Mothers Against Violence, Patsy has met the Prime Minister and the Queen. She believes that her work has helped to change policy

In 1999 Patsy’s son, Dorrie, was shot. He died soon afterwards. Patsy was devastated, but through her belief in Jesus, her relationship with God, her work with Mothers Against Violence and other community work she has come to terms with Dorrie’s death.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a friend or distant relative >> Angela - Interview 11 >> Angela said that if she hadn’t worked hard for Mothers Against Violence she wouldn’t be happy. She feels she is doing God’s will and has helped to cha

Angela lost a cousin and a friend during 2008. Her cousin was killed with a machete and her friend was stabbed. These deaths have been very painful for Angela. Her faith in God has helped her. She gains strength by working for Mothers against Violence.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Dean - Interview 36 >> After Dean’s son, Andrew, was hit by a car and died, a member of RoadPeace called Dean and offered help, support and useful advice.

Dean’s son, Andrew, was killed in 2006. He was hit by a car which was driven by a man who was not insured and who was driving illegally. Dean felt shocked and devastated. He has found help via friends, family, RoadPeace, the Spirualist Church and others.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Michael - Interview 35 >> Michael joined Families Against Corporate Killers. He found comfort from working with others to prevent work-related deaths

In 2004 Michael’s son, Lewis, was badly burnt. At the time he was working at a garage. Lewis died three days later. Michael and the other members of the family were devastated. Michael found most support from family, friends and through counselling.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Ian - Interview 32 >> Ian joined a Catholic support group for men. For the first time he felt that he could cry and share all his emotions and that he did not have to be st

In 1999 Ian’s brother, Dorrie, was shot. He died soon afterwards. Ian was deeply shocked but he supported the rest of the family and kept his faith in God. Dorrie’s death made Ian reassess his life, and live not only for himself but also for Dorrie.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Erykah - Interview 22 >> Erykah saw herself as a survivor rather than a victim. She found help via Mothers against Violence. She also campaigned with the group.

In 2002 Erykah’s brother was shot many times. His death was a terrible shock, and at first Erykah couldn’t believe it. Erykah’s faith keeps her strong. She has found support via the organisation, Mothers against Violence (MAV).

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Susanna - Interview 17 >> Victim Support provided a counsellor trained in trauma incident counselling. Counselling was free for six months; Susanna paid to continue with her af

Susanna lost her brother in the terrorist bombings in Bali on 12th October 2002. Dan was killed instantly and his wife was badly burnt. With other bereaved relatives she started the UK Bali Bombing Victims Group.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Michelle - Interview 41 >> Michelle, whose mother was murdered, felt a bit sorry for the people from Victim Support who seemed out of their depth, though very nice.

In 2005 Michelle’s mother was murdered. She was stabbed. Michelle was shocked and horrified. She has found help through friends, family, a community psychiatric nurse, a psychologist, a homeopath (privately), a medium and by writing about what happened.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Ann - Interview 24 >> Ann felt that she did not get enough help from Victim Support. She decided that some volunteers working for the charity needed more specialised traini

In 2005 Ann’s son, Westley, was murdered. He was attacked by a man with a knife. Ann and her family were devastated. Ann started the organisation KnifeCrimes.org which supports other victims of crime and which aims prevent other knife attacks.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Terri - Interview 19 >> After Terri’s son was murdered, a woman from Victim Support called on her, but Terri did not think that she acted professionally. Terri asked her not

In 2003 Terri’s son was stabbed to death in his home. His grandmother was attacked too. Three men were involved in the attacks. Terri was away. News of her son’s death was very traumatic. Counselling, Compassionate Friends, family and friends have helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Erykah - Interview 22 >> Erykah worked for Victim Support and thinks it does its best in the circumstances; she thinks volunteers ought to call after the crime and again six m

In 2002 Erykah’s brother was shot many times. His death was a terrible shock, and at first Erykah couldn’t believe it. Erykah’s faith keeps her strong. She has found support via the organisation, Mothers against Violence (MAV).

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Patsy - Interview 21 >> Patsy was glad that someone from Victim Support visited her and explained the Criminal Injuries Compensation Scheme.

In 1999 Patsy’s son, Dorrie, was shot. He died soon afterwards. Patsy was devastated, but through her belief in Jesus, her relationship with God, her work with Mothers Against Violence and other community work she has come to terms with Dorrie’s death.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Julie - Interview 09 >> After Julie’s sister was murdered, volunteers from Victim Support offered to help in any way they could, They found counselling for Julie’s nephew and

In September 2006 Julie’s sister, Shirley, was murdered by Shirley’s ex-partner. She had suffered domestic violence for a while. Julie and the family were shocked. Julie now cares for Shirley’s son. She has been supported by her family and friends.