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Religion and spirituality

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Memorials, headstones and websites >> Memorials, headstones and websites

Memorials, headstones and websites

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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Nina - Interview 37 >> Nina and her children arranged a family funeral for Austen, and the BBC arranged a grand memorial service. Nina found the eulogies hard to bear but al

In 2002 Nina’s husband, Austen, was killed in the Potters Bar rail crash. She was seriously hurt. Nina campaigned for compensation for the families of those who died. Nina misses her husband. She wrote the book “Dear Austen” to tell him what happened.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Peter - Interview 13 >> Peter and his wife do not want Tim forgotten. One day they may choose a stone to mark his grave. They have a memorial concert every year to remember T

In 2005 Peter’s son was killed in a car crash. Tim was only 19 when he died. He was in a car driven by a friend who was drunk. Peter and his wife have experienced a terrible loss. They comfort each other and do not want formal counselling.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Rosemary - Interview 25 >> Soon after her son died in the London bombing in 2005 Rosemary went to see her local vicar. He was very supportive and helped her find a reason for li

Rosemary’s son, James, was killed in the 7th July bomb attack in London in 2005. The family was devastated. Rosemary found help via family, friends, and colleagues, and through a vicar and a psychotherapist, and by creating wonderful memorials for her son.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Michelle - Interview 41 >> The family put up a lovely headstone in memory of Michelle’s mother. They also commissioned a bird bath for church grounds, with an inscription.

In 2005 Michelle’s mother was murdered. She was stabbed. Michelle was shocked and horrified. She has found help through friends, family, a community psychiatric nurse, a psychologist, a homeopath (privately), a medium and by writing about what happened.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Martin - Interview 10 >> Martin was desperate for help after his wife’s death, but he was cynical about prayer, seeing it as something people use in self-defence to make them

Martin’s wife had a part time job as a lollypop lady. When she was standing on the pavement, she was hit by a bus, and died instantly. Martin was shocked. He is bringing up two children, which is a heavy responsibility. Counselling has helped him.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Godfrey - Interview 39 >> Adrian’s ashes were buried in the garden at home, but the exact place isn’t marked. Godfrey and his wife also put a bench in the local woods in his me

In 1995 Godfrey’s son was fatally injured as he tried to board a train. Godfrey was denied information about exactly what had happened. The jury at the inquest decided it was an accident. It was an awful tragedy but Godfrey still has a positive attitude.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Cynthia - Interview 02 >> Cynthia’s daughter’s friends had a tree planted in the college grounds. After her ashes were scattered in the canal, friends had a plaque made for the

In 2000 Cynthia’s 26 year old daughter was killed when she was knocked off her bicycle and run over by a lorry. The inquest verdict was “accidental death” and the driver was acquitted. Cynthia was devastated and now campaigns to prevent other road deaths.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Pat - Interview 05 >> A lovely wooden seat was placed by a lake in memory of Pat’s son Matthew. Pat goes there on the anniversary of his death and on his birthday and at ot

In 2007 Pat’s son, Matthew, was killed when his motorbike hit a car that was turning right. The coroner concluded that it had been an accident. Pat was devastated. She has found support from family, friends, and through Cruse Bereavement Care.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Stephen - Interview 12 >> Stephen’s family have erected a gravestone in memory of his brother, Tony. They have also made a special memorial to Tony in their garden, with pictur

In 2006 Stephen was crossing the road with his brother and brother-in-law. They were hit by a drunk driver. Stephen was severely injured and his brother was killed. The driver pleaded guilty to causing death by dangerous driving. It was a terrible shock.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Cynthia - Interview 02 >> Since her daughter died Cynthia wants to have nothing to do with Christmas. On the anniversary of her death in June she always does something special.

In 2000 Cynthia’s 26 year old daughter was killed when she was knocked off her bicycle and run over by a lorry. The inquest verdict was “accidental death” and the driver was acquitted. Cynthia was devastated and now campaigns to prevent other road deaths.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Linda - Interview 15 >> The family have dedicated their hallway to Kevin. They found a graffiti artist who painted a six foot image of their son’s face on the wall. They have

In 2007 Linda’s son, Kevin, was murdered. He was 27 years old. He was stabbed and died 5 hours later. It was a terrific shock to all the family. Linda misses Kevin tremendously but her spiritual beliefs have helped her cope with her grief.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Alison - Interview 23 >> Alison has created pages on a website so that others can share memories, light candles and leave tributes to her children. Other children have also ma

In 2007 Alison’s husband and two of her young children died in their own home. Alison believes that her husband murdered her children and then set fire to the house. He also died. It has been a terrible time.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Ann - Interview 24 >> Ann suggests that people should focus their terrible grief into something positive in memory of their lost loved one.

In 2005 Ann’s son, Westley, was murdered. He was attacked by a man with a knife. Ann and her family were devastated. Ann started the organisation KnifeCrimes.org which supports other victims of crime and which aims prevent other knife attacks.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Matthew - Interview 26 >> Matthew’s brother died in the Bali bomb in 2000. Matthew was closely involved in creating a beautiful memorial in Horse Guards Road for all those who

Matthew’s brother, Timothy, was killed in the Bali bombing in 2002. He died instantly. His death was a terrible shock to the family. His body was brought back to the UK. Matthew is proud of the beautiful memorial that stands in London for those who died.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Jocelyn - Interview 33 >> Jocelyn helped to create the memorial for all those killed in Bali. Ed’s brother made a film and friends have left tributes on a website, which are al

In 2002 Jocelyn’s son, Edward, was killed in the Bali bombing. Jocelyn was deeply shocked and saddened, but decided that Ed would want him to get on with his life. He was supported by other family members and by Ed’s many friends.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Rosemary - Interview 25 >> Rosemary believes that if people create memorials to those who have died something positive can come out of a terrible experience. Two annual awards h

Rosemary’s son, James, was killed in the 7th July bomb attack in London in 2005. The family was devastated. Rosemary found help via family, friends, and colleagues, and through a vicar and a psychotherapist, and by creating wonderful memorials for her son.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Rosemary - Interview 25 >> Rosemary has also written about James in a Book of Remembrance, kept in St Ethelburga’s church. She found it therapeutic to write about her son.

Rosemary’s son, James, was killed in the 7th July bomb attack in London in 2005. The family was devastated. Rosemary found help via family, friends, and colleagues, and through a vicar and a psychotherapist, and by creating wonderful memorials for her son.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Dolores - Interview 34 >> The Tom Easton Flavasum Trust aims to try and prevent similar tragedies happening again by raising awareness through creative means.

In September 2006 Dolores son, Tom, was fatally wounded. He was stabbed by a man who had schizophrenia. Dolores was in shock for at least a couple of months. Cranial therapy and meditation helped, but Dolores still feels very sad and depressed at times.