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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> The role of the funeral director >> The role of the funeral director

The role of the funeral director

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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Karen - Interview 04 >> Karen chose the undertaker and planned a simple funeral. She knew her mother did not want a lavish event. Karen also asked other family members to mak

In 2007 Karen’s mother died when her house caught fire. It is unclear how the fire started, but the coroner decided it was an accidental death. Karen was shocked by her mother’s death. She has been helped and supported by her husband and his family.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Michelle - Interview 41 >> The family put up a lovely headstone in memory of Michelle’s mother. They also commissioned a bird bath for church grounds, with an inscription.

In 2005 Michelle’s mother was murdered. She was stabbed. Michelle was shocked and horrified. She has found help through friends, family, a community psychiatric nurse, a psychologist, a homeopath (privately), a medium and by writing about what happened.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Pat - Interview 05 >> Pat was upset by the brusque manner of some of the funeral directors she phoned. She was also upset because the funeral director had not invited her t

In 2007 Pat’s son, Matthew, was killed when his motorbike hit a car that was turning right. The coroner concluded that it had been an accident. Pat was devastated. She has found support from family, friends, and through Cruse Bereavement Care.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Carole - Interview 08 >> The military chose a funeral director who was sensitive and kind. Carole said he drove miles to collect their son’s body.

In November 2004 Carole’s 23 year old son was murdered by an ex-girlfriend. He was stabbed. Carole was devastated. She has found most help via family and friends and by running. She has also had counselling, arranged via work, which has helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Rachel - Interview 40 >> Rachel found the funeral director helpful. He asked her if she would like to have a lock of Dave’s hair. Dave was dressed in an Arsenal football shirt

Rachel’s son, Dave, served in the Paras before he joined a security company. In 2006 he was working in Iraq when he was killed by a bomb. Rachel was devastated. She has had counselling which has helped, but at times finds it hard to get on with her life.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Josefine - Interview 30 >> Josefine thinks that funeral directors should tell families that they can choose what ever they wish for the funeral and that they have a right to do

Josefine’s husband, Nicholas, was killed in a car accident in 2001. Josefine was shocked but understands that death is part of life. She arranged a ‘green funeral’ and buried Nicholas on her own land. She has had tremendous support from family and friends.