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Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Elizabeth - Interview 16 >> The family organised most of the funeral. Elizabeth and her other daughter dressed Marni, family and friends took her almost to the crematorium in the

In 2006 Elizabeth’s daughter, Marni, was killed when her car veered across the road and crashed into a lorry. The accident may have happened because Marni had a medical condition. Her death was a terrible shock. Elizabeth was devastated.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Josefine - Interview 30 >> Josefine thinks funeral directors should tell families that they can choose whatever they wish for the funeral and that they have a right to do things

Josefine’s husband, Nicholas, was killed in a car accident in 2001. Josefine was shocked but understands that death is part of life. She arranged a ‘green funeral’ and buried Nicholas on her own land. She has had tremendous support from family and friends.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Josefine - Interview 30 >> Josefine and her family acted as funeral directors. They had a daylong beautiful Quaker style ceremony on their own land to remember Nicholas. The nex

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Terri - Interview 19 >> There was lots of paper-work but the funeral director helped. He let her see Ben’s body when she wished. He helped with the words on the service sheet

In 2003 Terri’s son was stabbed to death in his home. His grandmother was attacked too. Three men were involved in the attacks. Terri was away. News of her son’s death was very traumatic. Counselling, Compassionate Friends, family and friends have helped.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> William - Interview 18 >> William wanted his daughter’s body to lie in an open coffin in her room until the day of the funeral. He asked the funeral director to apply a bit mor

In 2005 William’s 15 year old daughter, Lauren, was crossing a motorway and was hit by a lorry. She died almost immediately. William felt anger and guilt for not being able to protect her. He still misses her very much indeed.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Sally - Interview 14 >> The funeral director was very good. He helped Sally to choose a coffin. On the day of the funeral the staff walked before the hearse as a sign of resp

Sally’s mother died in 2007. Her flat caught fire, probably due to a cigarette which had not been put out. Her mother may have been a bit drowsy due to an overdose of pain killers, which may have led to the accident. Sally and her family were devastated.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Rachel - Interview 40 >> Rachel found the funeral director helpful. He asked her if she would like to have a lock of Dave’s hair. Dave was dressed in an Arsenal football shirt

Rachel’s son, Dave, served in the Paras before he joined a security company. In 2006 he was working in Iraq when he was killed by a bomb. Rachel was devastated. She has had counselling which has helped, but at times finds it hard to get on with her life.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Josefine - Interview 30 >> Josefine thinks that funeral directors should tell families that they can choose what ever they wish for the funeral and that they have a right to do

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Pat - Interview 05 >> Pat was upset by the brusque manner of some of the funeral directors she phoned. She was also upset because the funeral director had not invited her t

In 2007 Pat’s son, Matthew, was killed when his motorbike hit a car that was turning right. The coroner concluded that it had been an accident. Pat was devastated. She has found support from family, friends, and through Cruse Bereavement Care.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Carole - Interview 08 >> The military chose a funeral director who was sensitive and kind. Carole said he drove miles to collect their son’s body.

In November 2004 Carole’s 23 year old son was murdered by an ex-girlfriend. He was stabbed. Carole was devastated. She has found most help via family and friends and by running. She has also had counselling, arranged via work, which has helped.

The role of the funeral director

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Karen - Interview 04 >> Karen chose the undertaker and planned a simple funeral. She knew her mother did not want a lavish event. Karen also asked other family members to mak

In 2007 Karen’s mother died when her house caught fire. It is unclear how the fire started, but the coroner decided it was an accidental death. Karen was shocked by her mother’s death. She has been helped and supported by her husband and his family.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Michelle - Interview 41 >> The family put up a lovely headstone in memory of Michelle’s mother. They also commissioned a bird bath for church grounds, with an inscription.

In 2005 Michelle’s mother was murdered. She was stabbed. Michelle was shocked and horrified. She has found help through friends, family, a community psychiatric nurse, a psychologist, a homeopath (privately), a medium and by writing about what happened.

The role of the funeral director

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