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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Murder or manslaughter involving guns >> Murder or manslaughter involving guns

Murder or manslaughter involving guns

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Changing emotions and physical reactions >> Changing emotions and physical reactions

Changing emotions and physical reactions

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• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a friend or distant relative >> Lisa - Interview 29 >> A newspaper article described two people who had been stabbed. Lisa thought one might be her ex-boyfriend so she rang the police and was asked to iden

In the 1990’s Lisa lost two good friends due to murder. When her ex-boyfriend was stabbed, Lisa was in despair and at times suicidal. She was ill for over six years. She sought help in many ways. Finally, a healer from a spiritualist church restored her.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Terri - Interview 19 >> Terri was on holiday when her son Ben was stabbed to death by a young man who had been threatening Ben for a long time because he thought Ben had take

In 2003 Terri’s son was stabbed to death in his home. His grandmother was attacked too. Three men were involved in the attacks. Terri was away. News of her son’s death was very traumatic. Counselling, Compassionate Friends, family and friends have helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Adam - Interview 27 >> When Adam heard news about Lloyd’s death he wanted to cry but almost laughed. He knew laughter was an inappropriate reaction but he felt that it must

In 2005 Adam’s brother, Lloyd, was murdered in the street. He was attacked by two men, who said that they were drunk at the time. Adam, his parents and friends were devastated. Since then Adam has worked hard to try to prevent other violent crime.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Dolores - Interview 34 >> Tom was stabbed 22 times by a young man with schizophrenia. Dolores describes how she heard the terrible news that her son had been killed.

In September 2006 Dolores son, Tom, was fatally wounded. He was stabbed by a man who had schizophrenia. Dolores was in shock for at least a couple of months. Cranial therapy and meditation helped, but Dolores still feels very sad and depressed at times.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a friend or distant relative >> Angela - Interview 11 >> Angela had recently lost a cousin and a friend through homicide. These two deaths devastated her. She heard about her friend’s death over the telephon

Angela lost a cousin and a friend during 2008. Her cousin was killed with a machete and her friend was stabbed. These deaths have been very painful for Angela. Her faith in God has helped her. She gains strength by working for Mothers against Violence.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Marcus - Interview 38 >> Marcus’ fiancée, Louise, was stabbed by a man who pretended to offer Marcus work. Initially Marcus was treated as a suspect. He was shocked when the p

Marcus’s fiancée, Louise, was murdered in 1987. Marcus was shocked and his life was shattered. He found help through friends, family, the police, psychiatrists and art therapy. Today he finds help by helping others who have been bereaved in this way.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Carole - Interview 08 >> Carole’s son was stabbed by his ex-girl friend, who was jealous of a new relationship. A police officer told Carole the terrible news at her work.

In November 2004 Carole’s 23 year old son was murdered by an ex-girlfriend. He was stabbed. Carole was devastated. She has found most help via family and friends and by running. She has also had counselling, arranged via work, which has helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Julie - Interview 09 >> Julie’s sister, Shirley, was stabbed to death in her own home by an ex-boyfriend, who had beaten her up on other occasions. The police told Julie what

In September 2006 Julie’s sister, Shirley, was murdered by Shirley’s ex-partner. She had suffered domestic violence for a while. Julie and the family were shocked. Julie now cares for Shirley’s son. She has been supported by her family and friends.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a friend or distant relative >> Shazia - Interview 01 >> Shazia recalls what she saw from the street and her feelings of horror and disbelief when she heard that her best friend’s father had killed her, her

In 1993 Shazia’s friend was shot by her friend’s father because of “izzat” and honour. Shazia, then aged 13, was devastated. She has found help through counselling and by supporting others in similar situations.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Patsy - Interview 21 >> After Dorrie was shot Patsy wished she had gone to the hospital immediately. He was dead by the time she got there.

In 1999 Patsy’s son, Dorrie, was shot. He died soon afterwards. Patsy was devastated, but through her belief in Jesus, her relationship with God, her work with Mothers Against Violence and other community work she has come to terms with Dorrie’s death.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Ian - Interview 32 >> As soon as Ian heard that his brother had been shot he started to pray. Then he heard that Dorrie had died. He screamed, felt utterly shocked, and ask

In 1999 Ian’s brother, Dorrie, was shot. He died soon afterwards. Ian was deeply shocked but he supported the rest of the family and kept his faith in God. Dorrie’s death made Ian reassess his life, and live not only for himself but also for Dorrie.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Erykah - Interview 22 >> Erykah was at work when she got a phone call to say that her brother had been shot. She rushed to the scene but all she could see was a covered body o

In 2002 Erykah’s brother was shot many times. His death was a terrible shock, and at first Erykah couldn’t believe it. Erykah’s faith keeps her strong. She has found support via the organisation, Mothers against Violence (MAV).

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Pat - Interview 05 >> Pat was devastated when two policemen arrived at her house and told her that her son, Matthew, had been involved in an accident and had died. She coul

In 2007 Pat’s son, Matthew, was killed when his motorbike hit a car that was turning right. The coroner concluded that it had been an accident. Pat was devastated. She has found support from family, friends, and through Cruse Bereavement Care.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> William - Interview 18 >> William heard on the radio news that a serious accident had closed the road. He phoned home and a policeman advised him to go to the hospital where he

In 2005 William’s 15 year old daughter, Lauren, was crossing a motorway and was hit by a lorry. She died almost immediately. William felt anger and guilt for not being able to protect her. He still misses her very much indeed.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Michelle - Interview 41 >> Michelle's feelings overwhelmed her after her mother was stabbed to death. She could not put them into words.

In 2005 Michelle’s mother was murdered. She was stabbed. Michelle was shocked and horrified. She has found help through friends, family, a community psychiatric nurse, a psychologist, a homeopath (privately), a medium and by writing about what happened.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Ann - Interview 24 >> Ann felt many emotions including fear and anger. She decided that she must do something with the rage because otherwise it might be destructive.

In 2005 Ann’s son, Westley, was murdered. He was attacked by a man with a knife. Ann and her family were devastated. Ann started the organisation KnifeCrimes.org which supports other victims of crime and which aims prevent other knife attacks.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> William - Interview 18 >> William felt regret, and also anger - he believed his daughter, Lauren, had died because of other people’s actions.

In 2005 William’s 15 year old daughter, Lauren, was crossing a motorway and was hit by a lorry. She died almost immediately. William felt anger and guilt for not being able to protect her. He still misses her very much indeed.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Dorothy - Interview 28 >> Dorothy felt disillusioned with the justice system and with politicians after her son died in an industrial incident. She kept her anger bottled up. S

In 2005 Dorothy’s son, Mark, was killed in an industrial incident. He was working in a waste and recycling plant. Dorothy was shocked and angry. Counselling, hypnotherapy and Compassionate Friends have helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Cynthia - Interview 02 >> At first Cynthia felt suicidal and angry. She blamed herself for everything that had gone wrong, and could not make sense of the world, but gradually

In 2000 Cynthia’s 26 year old daughter was killed when she was knocked off her bicycle and run over by a lorry. The inquest verdict was “accidental death” and the driver was acquitted. Cynthia was devastated and now campaigns to prevent other road deaths.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Ian - Interview 32 >> When Ian trained as a counsellor he was told that there are stages in grief and that one stage is anger, but he has never felt angry with the person w

In 1999 Ian’s brother, Dorrie, was shot. He died soon afterwards. Ian was deeply shocked but he supported the rest of the family and kept his faith in God. Dorrie’s death made Ian reassess his life, and live not only for himself but also for Dorrie.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Elizabeth - Interview 16 >> More than two years after her daughter’s death Elizabeth still felt weighed down by grief. She believed it was a terrible accident and blamed no-one f

In 2006 Elizabeth’s daughter, Marni, was killed when her car veered across the road and crashed into a lorry. The accident may have happened because Marni had a medical condition. Her death was a terrible shock. Elizabeth was devastated.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Susanna - Interview 17 >> Susanna described survivor’s guilt and other emotions after her brother was killed in a bomb in Bali in 2002. She felt exhausted and found it catharti

Susanna lost her brother in the terrorist bombings in Bali on 12th October 2002. Dan was killed instantly and his wife was badly burnt. With other bereaved relatives she started the UK Bali Bombing Victims Group.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Sarah - Interview 20 >> After Russell died Sarah’s overriding emotions were to do with protecting the children. When the reality hit her she felt she had lost herself as well

Sarah’s husband, Russell, died in 2006 in a road traffic collision. He was driving a bus when the driver of another vehicle pulled out suddenly, causing the incident. Sarah was devastated and still feels that her life has been shattered.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Sarah - Interview 20 >> Sarah went back to work after three weeks- the routine helped. But over two years later she still gets a physical reaction when the realisation that R

Sarah’s husband, Russell, died in 2006 in a road traffic collision. He was driving a bus when the driver of another vehicle pulled out suddenly, causing the incident. Sarah was devastated and still feels that her life has been shattered.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Jayne - Interview 07 >> Jayne was inconsolable for years after Jonathan was murdered. She felt physically sick, petrified, and could not go out on her own.

In 1992 Jayne’s husband, Jonathan Zito, was murdered by a man who had mental health problems. Jayne was shocked and traumatised. Since then she has had a great deal of counselling, which has been very helpful. She founded the Zito Trust.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Terri - Interview 19 >> Terri could not sleep after her son was murdered. She relied on alcohol, could not sleep, became agoraphobic, hated noise, experienced palpitations an

In 2003 Terri’s son was stabbed to death in his home. His grandmother was attacked too. Three men were involved in the attacks. Terri was away. News of her son’s death was very traumatic. Counselling, Compassionate Friends, family and friends have helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a friend or distant relative >> Lisa - Interview 29 >> Lisa was very unwell after her friends were murdered. She self-harmed and could not stop crying. She had mental health problems for six years.

In the 1990’s Lisa lost two good friends due to murder. When her ex-boyfriend was stabbed, Lisa was in despair and at times suicidal. She was ill for over six years. She sought help in many ways. Finally, a healer from a spiritualist church restored her.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Nina - Interview 37 >> Nina campaigned tirelessly for compensation for all the Potters Bar rail crash victims. The realisation of Austen’s death took its toll after the comp

In 2002 Nina’s husband, Autsen, was killed in the Potters Bar rail crash. She was seriously hurt. Nina campaigned for compensation for the families of those who died. Nina misses her husband. She wrote the book “Dear Austen” to tell him what happened.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Michelle - Interview 41 >> Michelle had felt strongly that something dreadful had happened to her mother and was horrified to learn she had been murdered.

In 2005 Michelle’s mother was murdered. She was stabbed. Michelle was shocked and horrified. She has found help through friends, family, a community psychiatric nurse, a psychologist, a homeopath (privately), a medium and by writing about what happened.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Pat - Interview 05 >> Pat regretted that our society has no mourning rituals. She wanted to drape her door in black and wail and express her anger, but felt it would be soc

In 2007 Pat’s son, Matthew, was killed when his motorbike hit a car that was turning right. The coroner concluded that it had been an accident. Pat was devastated. She has found support from family, friends, and through Cruse Bereavement Care.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Peter - Interview 13 >> The press have helped Peter’s drink-driving campaign. Inaccuracies in a report of the fatal crash, eg her son’s age and who was driving the car, enrag

In 2005 Peter’s son was killed in a car crash. Tim was only 19 when he died. He was in a car driven by a friend who was drunk. Peter and his wife have experienced a terrible loss. They comfort each other and do not want formal counselling.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Rosemary - Interview 25 >> After the London bombing those who died were remembered in a ‘two minute silence’. Reporters photographed Rosemary’s niece while she was crying and Ro

Rosemary’s son, James, was killed in the 7th July bomb attack in London in 2005. The family was devastated. Rosemary found help via family, friends, and colleagues, and through a vicar and a psychotherapist, and by creating wonderful memorials for her son.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Sarah - Interview 20 >> The counsellor understood Sarah’s emotions and allowed her to feel ‘really awful’. She understood when Sarah said she felt worse in the second year th

Sarah’s husband, Russell, died in 2006 in a road traffic collision. He was driving a bus when the driver of another vehicle pulled out suddenly, causing the incident. Sarah was devastated and still feels that her life has been shattered.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Jayne - Interview 07 >> Jayne saw a bereavement counsellor who helped her to explore how Jonathan’s death had affected her life. The counsellor listened and Jayne felt she co

In 1992 Jayne’s husband, Jonathan Zito, was murdered by a man who had mental health problems. Jayne was shocked and traumatised. Since then she has had a great deal of counselling, which has been very helpful. She founded the Zito Trust.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Michael - Interview 35 >> Michael decided to have some professional counselling because he found it hard to talk about Lewis. The counsellor helped him to express his feelings

In 2004 Michael’s son, Lewis, was badly burnt. At the time he was working at a garage. Lewis died three days later. Michael and the other members of the family were devastated. Michael found most support from family, friends and through counselling.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Ian - Interview 32 >> Ian joined a Catholic support group for men. For the first time he felt that he could cry and share all his emotions and that he did not have to be st

In 1999 Ian’s brother, Dorrie, was shot. He died soon afterwards. Ian was deeply shocked but he supported the rest of the family and kept his faith in God. Dorrie’s death made Ian reassess his life, and live not only for himself but also for Dorrie.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a friend or distant relative >> Lisa - Interview 29 >> Lisa was in deep despair when two of her friends were murdered. She was ill for a long time but over 10 years later she feels happy and optimistic aga

In the 1990’s Lisa lost two good friends due to murder. When her ex-boyfriend was stabbed, Lisa was in despair and at times suicidal. She was ill for over six years. She sought help in many ways. Finally, a healer from a spiritualist church restored her.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Julie - Interview 09 >> Two years after Julie’s sister was murdered she felt less depressed, but 'silly little things' still make her cry. Mother’s day was particularly diffi

In September 2006 Julie’s sister, Shirley, was murdered by Shirley’s ex-partner. She had suffered domestic violence for a while. Julie and the family were shocked. Julie now cares for Shirley’s son. She has been supported by her family and friends.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Elizabeth - Interview 16 >> Elizabeth, whose daughter died in a car crash in 2006, wondered if she would ever feel joy again. Although she has other fantastic children she has fo

In 2006 Elizabeth’s daughter, Marni, was killed when her car veered across the road and crashed into a lorry. The accident may have happened because Marni had a medical condition. Her death was a terrible shock. Elizabeth was devastated.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Dolores - Interview 34 >> Dolores’ son, Tom, was stabbed to death in 2006. Two years later she still at times thought about dying herself and felt that half of her had gone.

In September 2006 Dolores son, Tom, was fatally wounded. He was stabbed by a man who had schizophrenia. Dolores was in shock for at least a couple of months. Cranial therapy and meditation helped, but Dolores still feels very sad and depressed at times.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Stephen - Interview 12 >> Stephen’s life was shattered when he and his brother were hit by a drunk driver in 2006. Stephen now has physical disabilities and feels part of his h

In 2006 Stephen was crossing the road with his brother and brother-in-law. They were hit by a drunk driver. Stephen was severely injured and his brother was killed. The driver pleaded guilty to causing death by dangerous driving. It was a terrible shock.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> David - Interview 31 >> David will never forget what happened to Simon. Since the day he was murdered David and his wife have worried about their own safety.

In 1992, David’s son, Simon, was stabbed to death near to his home. He was 17 years old. Simon’s death had a huge effect on the family. David and his wife supported each other. They are now members of Support after Murder and Manslaughter (SAMM).

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Susanna - Interview 17 >> Six years after her brother died Susanna still feels pain that will never go away, that time doesn’t change the tragedy, and that the notion of closur

Susanna lost her brother in the terrorist bombings in Bali on 12th October 2002. Dan was killed instantly and his wife was badly burnt. With other bereaved relatives she started the UK Bali Bombing Victims Group.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Tamsin - Interview 06 >> Tamsin misses her brother very much. The knowledge that one day she will have to deal with her parents’ deaths alone scares her most.

One day in 2007 Tamsin said goodbye to her brother. That evening Matthew died when his motorbike collided with a car. Tamsin was devastated. Her partner and her family support her but she misses Matthew dreadfully and the pain doesn’t get any easier.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Jayne - Interview 07 >> Though Jonathan died many years ago, Jayne still misses him and feels angry about what happened and how it has affected her.

In 1992 Jayne’s husband, Jonathan Zito, was murdered by a man who had mental health problems. Jayne was shocked and traumatised. Since then she has had a great deal of counselling, which has been very helpful. She founded the Zito Trust.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Rachel - Interview 40 >> Two years after Dave’s death Rachel still feels raw at times, and day-to-day activities seem unimportant. She 'can’t move on’ and finds life very, ver

Rachel’s son, Dave, served in the Paras before he joined a security company. In 2006 he was working in Iraq when he was killed by a bomb. Rachel was devastated. She has had counselling which has helped, but at times finds it hard to get on with her life.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Cynthia - Interview 02 >> Cynthia’s anger and her determination to fight for justice for her daughter, and on behalf of other people, changed her completely. She felt she had b

In 2000 Cynthia’s 26 year old daughter was killed when she was knocked off her bicycle and run over by a lorry. The inquest verdict was “accidental death” and the driver was acquitted. Cynthia was devastated and now campaigns to prevent other road deaths.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Alison - Interview 23 >> Alison went to her house, and then waited in the pub for news of her children. She did not know if they were dead or alive. It felt surreal.

In 2007 Alison’s husband and two of her young children died in their own home. Alison believes that her husband murdered her children and then set fire to the house. He also died. It has been a terrible time.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Sally - Interview 14 >> Sally’s mother had died in a fire, and she wishes she had said more to her mother about cigarette butts causing fires.

Sally’s mother died in 2007. Her flat caught fire, probably due to a cigarette which had not been put out. Her mother may have been a bit drowsy due to an overdose of pain killers, which may have led to the accident. Sally and her family were devastated.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Ann - Interview 24 >> Ann pressed the coroner to get her son’s body released. She had to wait three months, which was distressing. They had a High Church service, and then

In 2005 Ann’s son, Westley, was murdered. He was attacked by a man with a knife. Ann and her family were devastated. Ann started the organisation KnifeCrimes.org which supports other victims of crime and which aims prevent other knife attacks.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Martin - Interview 10 >> During the funeral Martin gave an emotional talk about his wife and people were ‘crying their eyes out’. He was glad that he managed to do it.

Martin’s wife had a part time job as a lollypop lady. When she was standing on the pavement, she was hit by a bus, and died instantly. Martin was shocked. He is bringing up two children, which is a heavy responsibility. Counselling has helped him.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Terri - Interview 19 >> Ben had a ‘wonderful’ funeral. Over 500 people were in the church. Terri thinks that Ben would have been laughing because he had a police escort.

In 2003 Terri’s son was stabbed to death in his home. His grandmother was attacked too. Three men were involved in the attacks. Terri was away. News of her son’s death was very traumatic. Counselling, Compassionate Friends, family and friends have helped.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Tamsin - Interview 06 >> Tamsin heard about her brother’s motorbike accident from her father. The police drove her to the hospital to see Matthew. Losing her brother was painf

One day in 2007 Tamsin said goodbye to her brother. That evening Matthew died when his motorbike collided with a car. Tamsin was devastated. Her partner and her family support her but she misses Matthew dreadfully and the pain doesn’t get any easier.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Elizabeth - Interview 16 >> Elizabeth couldn’t believe it when the policemen told her that her daughter had not survived a car accident. Marni had been driving her car. She veere

In 2006 Elizabeth’s daughter, Marni, was killed when her car veered across the road and crashed into a lorry. The accident may have happened because Marni had a medical condition. Her death was a terrible shock. Elizabeth was devastated.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a husband, wife or partner >> Josefine - Interview 30 >> Josefine’s husband was killed in a car accident. The police called at the house to tell her what had happened. She has never blamed anyone else for hi

Josefine’s husband, Nicholas, was killed in a car accident in 2001. Josefine was shocked but understands that death is part of life. She arranged a ‘green funeral’ and buried Nicholas on her own land. She has had tremendous support from family and friends.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Rosemary - Interview 25 >> Rosemary recalled the very difficult time she had after the London bombing, when people were looking for her son James. She felt sure that something h

Rosemary’s son, James, was killed in the 7th July bomb attack in London in 2005. The family was devastated. Rosemary found help via family, friends, and colleagues, and through a vicar and a psychotherapist, and by creating wonderful memorials for her son.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Susanna - Interview 17 >> Susanna knew that her brother Dan was in Bali. When she heard about the bombing she ‘oscillated between hope and despair’ until his body was identifie

Susanna lost her brother in the terrorist bombings in Bali on 12th October 2002. Dan was killed instantly and his wife was badly burnt. With other bereaved relatives she started the UK Bali Bombing Victims Group.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Jocelyn - Interview 33 >> Jocelyn was ‘totally stunned’ when he suspected that his son Ed had been killed in the Bali bomb explosion. He knew that Ed was in Bali and that he wo

In 2002 Jocelyn’s son, Edward, was killed in the Bali bombing. Jocelyn was deeply shocked and saddened, but decided that Ed would want him to get on with his life. He was supported by other family members and by Ed’s many friends.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Michael - Interview 35 >> After an explosion at the garage Michael and his wife went to the hospital to see Lewis, who was badly burnt and needed surgery. After three days the

In 2004 Michael’s son, Lewis, was badly burnt. At the time he was working at a garage. Lewis died three days later. Michael and the other members of the family were devastated. Michael found most support from family, friends and through counselling.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Erykah - Interview 22 >> Erykah thinks that her mother felt better having her brother’s ashes at home. His sudden death made any form of ‘closure’ impossible.

In 2002 Erykah’s brother was shot many times. His death was a terrible shock, and at first Erykah couldn’t believe it. Erykah’s faith keeps her strong. She has found support via the organisation, Mothers against Violence (MAV).

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Susanna - Interview 17 >> Christmas is always a difficult time for Susanna, partly because her brother’s funeral was on 23rd December. She said that both Christmas and New Year

Susanna lost her brother in the terrorist bombings in Bali on 12th October 2002. Dan was killed instantly and his wife was badly burnt. With other bereaved relatives she started the UK Bali Bombing Victims Group.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Michelle - Interview 41 >> Anniversaries are hard for Michelle. It helps her to do something positive - she leaves flowers at the cemetery, lights a candle, talks to her mother

In 2005 Michelle’s mother was murdered. She was stabbed. Michelle was shocked and horrified. She has found help through friends, family, a community psychiatric nurse, a psychologist, a homeopath (privately), a medium and by writing about what happened.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a parent >> Karen - Interview 04 >> After Karen’s mother died in a fire she said that everyone deals with death differently. There is no right way and no wrong way.

In 2007 Karen’s mother died when her house caught fire. It is unclear how the fire started, but the coroner decided it was an accidental death. Karen was shocked by her mother’s death. She has been helped and supported by her husband and his family.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Dolores - Interview 34 >> Dolores said that although it may be hard to express emotions it is vital to bring them to the surface. She believes that repressed emotions can make

In September 2006 Dolores son, Tom, was fatally wounded. He was stabbed by a man who had schizophrenia. Dolores was in shock for at least a couple of months. Cranial therapy and meditation helped, but Dolores still feels very sad and depressed at times.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Michael - Interview 35 >> Michael discovered that he felt better after he allowed himself to cry and he suggests that others should express their feelings too.

In 2004 Michael’s son, Lewis, was badly burnt. At the time he was working at a garage. Lewis died three days later. Michael and the other members of the family were devastated. Michael found most support from family, friends and through counselling.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Pat - Interview 05 >> Pat was gripped by shock after Matthew died and couldn’t weep, which she learnt was a common reaction after a traumatic death. She thinks that it is i

In 2007 Pat’s son, Matthew, was killed when his motorbike hit a car that was turning right. The coroner concluded that it had been an accident. Pat was devastated. She has found support from family, friends, and through Cruse Bereavement Care.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Pat - Interview 05 >> Pat points out that people need to cry and that crying can release emotions. Although she couldn’t cry at first, more recently she has cried every day

In 2007 Pat’s son, Matthew, was killed when his motorbike hit a car that was turning right. The coroner concluded that it had been an accident. Pat was devastated. She has found support from family, friends, and through Cruse Bereavement Care.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Stephen - Interview 12 >> Nearly three years on Stephen found that his pain had become more bearable. He found some kind of normality in life again.

In 2006 Stephen was crossing the road with his brother and brother-in-law. They were hit by a drunk driver. Stephen was severely injured and his brother was killed. The driver pleaded guilty to causing death by dangerous driving. It was a terrible shock.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a child >> Ann - Interview 24 >> Ann suggests that people should focus their terrible grief into something positive in memory of their lost loved one.

In 2005 Ann’s son, Westley, was murdered. He was attacked by a man with a knife. Ann and her family were devastated. Ann started the organisation KnifeCrimes.org which supports other victims of crime and which aims prevent other knife attacks.

• Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to traumatic death >> Lost a brother or a sister >> Adam - Interview 27 >> It helped Adam to talk to friends who had known Lloyd and who could exchange memories about him. However, not all realised how upset he felt, which di

In 2005 Adam’s brother, Lloyd, was murdered in the street. He was attacked by two men, who said that they were drunk at the time. Adam, his parents and friends were devastated. Since then Adam has worked hard to try to prevent other violent crime.