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Nina - Interview 37

Nina - Interview 37

Age at Interview: 84
Sex: Female
Background: Nina is a novelist. She is a widow and has 5 children. Ethnic background/nationality: White British.

Brief outline:In 2002 Nina’s husband, Austen, was killed in the Potters Bar rail crash. She was seriously hurt. Nina campaigned for compensation for the families of those who died. Nina misses her husband. She wrote the book “Dear Austen” to tell him what happened.

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Nina could not remember much after the train crashed at Potters Bar. Her husband was killed and she was taken to hospital with serious injuries. Her son told her what had happened.
Print Please could you tell me your story, with as much detail as you want to include. We, my husband Austen and I were going to Cambridge from London, our house in London, to a party, it was somebody’s 80^th birthday, and it was to be a river, a river cruise. We decided to spend the night in Cambridge, and make a, make a small holiday of it. And so we left the house a bit unnecessarily early, because I always do. We nearly, we, we and I think we caught the train before the one we had intended to as a result, which was a mistake. You left on the earlier train? Yes, we left the house earlier than we needed to, as I say we caught the, I think we caught the earlier train, I couldn’t be absolutely certain, anyway we, we, we got into a first class carriage, because we were on holiday, and we got out our magazines and books, and general travel toys. There was just one other person in, in the coach with us, who was, will loom quite large in the story. And we were sitting there smiling, and we both felt quite happy. It was a nice day. We were wearing the right clothes for a trip on the river, it was a party, and the birthday, or a birthday party, and a celebration, then we were going to have a, spend the night in a good, nice expensive hotel, and that’s that really, that’s all I remember. I had had a series of operations. I knew that after a time, a time. They didn’t complete the operations they were going to do, one of which was to amputate my left foot because they thought I was going to die, and it wasn’t worth putting me through another miserable operation. Anyway I survived, and kept my foot which I was rather grateful for. But I didn’t really realise what had happened. I remember my son saying from a long distance away, “You’ve been in a train crash, and Austen is dead.” And I didn’t think I believed it. I mean I knew, I knew I was lying on this rather uncomfortable couch, so I assumed something had happened, but I assumed it was some kind of dream or, and I can’t remember when I actually believed it had happened.

Nina campaigned tirelessly for compensation for all the Potters Bar rail crash victims. The realisation of Austen’s death took its toll after the company admitted liability.
Print But then very slowly I did begin to understand what had happened, and it had been, what had happened was there was a fault in the points, someone had, Railtrack insisted were, could have been sabotaged, which was a load of old rubbish as it was quite clear to everybody that it was these particular points that had been bad, had been badly aligned, and it was a matter of, as the health and safety executive that came said, “It was a matter of piss-poor maintenance.” It’s a good phrase, “Piss-poor maintenance” But they still wouldn’t admit liability. And so for the two or three years after the crash I wasn’t doing what they call grieving I don’t think. I was on the rampage. Was compensation paid by the rail company? Compensation was, was, was eventually paid, decent, decent compensation I’m glad to say, I don’t know whether… there were two women whose mother who was an old age pensioner and was killed walking under the bridge where the train went into it, and was killed by falling bricks, and they were told originally they would get nothing, because she wasn’t, she wasn’t supporting anyone. As if she was worth nothing. They said her life was worth nothing. But they did eventually admit liability to my great relief. And I think it was then I realised that Austen wasn’t coming back. I, this is what happened to me after I’d realised that it had actually happened. I suppose I can, I had a kind of a breakdown. I haven’t been out of the house properly for for, since then. I’m frightened of leaving the house; I’m frightened of going into crowded places.

Nina and her children arranged a family funeral for Austen, and the BBC arranged a grand memorial service. Nina found the eulogies hard to bear but also comforting.
Print And there was a very grand memorial service which was nice. Which was the, the BBC arranged because he was, he ran the world service. And there was a great many lovely things were said. I found that very hard to bear. Well the family funeral was different somehow. The grandson and grand-daughters’ sang. How lovely. Both of them beautifully. And you know a few people read things and said that they were; there was a, there was, particularly at the memorial service there were very grand eulogies. Were there? Well it was, in a, in a sense it was a kind of comfort.

Austen’s ashes are in a plastic pot waiting to be taken to Greece when Nina dies. She wants their ashes thrown off a cliff.
Print And then, did you bury his ashes or...? No, They’re sitting in a plastic pot waiting to be taken to Greece and scattered with mine. Ah. Over some Greek [cliff]; because we had a house in Greece. How lovely. That was Austen’s dream and so, I thought we might as well have our ashes thrown off the cliff.

Nina got most help and support from family and friends. She went to see a psychotherapist but decided she was wasting the therapist’s time.
Print Where did you find most help after the crash? Did you go to the..? You were in hospital so you had all the hospital treatment for your broken bones, but did you get any help for your feelings of trauma and stress and bereavement? My family and friends. Yes. I did go and see a, now what they call Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, but I found it useless. Did you? Well, no, no, no; friends and family and, I’ve a wonderful son and daughter, the others live out of the country, my daughter’s been a particularly, been, been here in the house almost every day. Oh that’s wonderful. And my son is a doctor in Suffolk who has come when he can, when he could and did a great deal for a long time. What happened during a session of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? Well they just say these silly things that you know already. They tell you silly…? Silly things that you know already. Or get you to talk about silly things. So that didn’t help at all? No. There’s only one thing that would’ve helped, if they’d brought him back. So it actually didn’t help? No. It made it more painful? No it didn’t make it more painful; it just seemed a waste of time. The time of a good psychiatrist.

Austen died in the Potters Bar train crash in 2002, but Nina is still waiting for the inquest. The judge (sitting as coroner) decided there should be a public inquiry and adjourned the full inquest.
Print Well we haven’t had an inquest yet. You haven’t had the inquest yet? There has been a funeral, there was an, an interim, we started an inquest under a High Court Judge because, there wasn’t a public inquiry. We were not, shamefully allowed it, and the High Court Judge was presiding over the inquest last year, and he adjourned the inquest because he said there should be a public inquiry after the Cumbrian rail crash which was for precisely the same reasons, failure of the points. So we’re now waiting for a public inquiry? We are now waiting for a public inquiry, which this government, I beg your pardon, this bloody government won’t give us. You can leave the bloody in. So the coroner just opened the inquest and then closed it waiting for the full inquest? Yes. It allowed you to have an interim death certificate. We were, we were supposed to have had a larger inquest. I can’t remember the precise adjective, the coroner at the grander inquest said there should be a public inquiry. So when was that inquest? When was, how long ago was that? Over a year ago.

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