Changing emotions-sadness, guilt & anger

When people first heard about their loved one’s suicide they usually felt shocked, as well as many other emotions (see ‘First reactions-shock, disbelief, despair & relief’). Margaret described bereavement by suicide as a “big open wound”.

It has been suggested that there are four “tasks” of mourning, and that over time people need to accept the reality of their loss, allow time to experience feelings and emotions, adjust to life without the dead person, and “move on” with life. However, grieving individuals may not go through these stages and those who do may not undertake them in a fixed order. Indeed, one of the men we talked to who had lost his wife argued that the notion of “stages of grief” is a “load of rubbish”.

Kate’s life has been devastated by the deaths of two of her daughters. They took their own lives by hanging, in 2006 & 2007. Kate has had support from family, friends and the church and says that answering emails from members of POS has also helped.

Dying & bereavement >> Bereavement due to suicide >> Lost a partner, husband or wife >> Jacqui - Interview 30 >> Jacqui found a note on the dining room table before she found her husband’s body. Then she found him hanging. She found it hard to believe he was dead

Jacqui’s husband, Mike, had had mental health problems for some time. In 2006 Jacqui came home to find that Mike had died by suicide. He had hung himself. Jacqui has had counselling and has started her own email support group, Widowed by Suicide Support.

Changing emotions-sadness, guilt & anger

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